[Baba]

Practical joke witches are the worst. They never catch on when a joke stops being funny.

[More problems]

I fully support your goals, but I just couldn't live with the exact same philosophy. I've spent too many long stretches of my life without real friends, and I'm obviously not so certain about my ability to keep the ones I have. Thankfully all of my friends at the moment support me, although what I want in life specifically is still kinda nebulous. But I don't doubt that you can find new friends easily enough if you're running low, and I guess that makes the culling easier when it has to happen

 

I think I misunderstood just what kind of situations in particular you were referring to as negative influences on your life. Everybody you meet is going to disagree with you at some point, and I thought you might be saying that it's 100% support for everything Allen all the time or the highway, but it's starting to seem more reasonable. Well, of course if Betty told you "video games and music are lame. be a biologist or we're over" well in that case it's dump-city, and the same for any friend. But the odds of that happening are so low. I got this sense of urgency from what you were saying and must have been swept up in it and misconstrued things. I know a thing or two about considering worst-case scenarios with friends and family in my head, despite it never accomplishing anything in my case. v_v

 

Now at this point I think it's abundantly clear I don't have any worthwhile advice or insight to give, but if you want to continue to clear things up I'm listening.

[More problems]

I see. I can't really relate since I'm not a very ambitious person, but I think I get it. You get to decide what you enjoy the most, so I can't argue there. It does make me kind of sad you view friends as semi-replaceable. At least it sounds to me like you mean particular friends will come and go, but that doesn't matter as much as just having people around you can label under "friend." I can't really relate to that either, since I don't make friends as easily as you do. I might put too much value in them individually because of that. So there's really nothing more I can say. I wish I could have been more helpful and alleviated some of the anger, but I've never been good at that.

[More problems]

I don't usually have the right words to say when I need them most but I'll try. I'm sorry if I misunderstood some things.

 

From my perspective at least, what matters is not only that you're passionate about what you do, but specifically that you enjoy it. It's not worth it to be an innovator if that doesn't make you happy. You shouldn't sacrifice parts of your life you love dearly just to be able to say that you did this or that thing before you die. Eventually, people are going to come along and do the same things you did, and they'll be better and maybe overshadow you before the next person comes, but that's fine if you got satisfaction and some happy moments out of the ride. I don't know if it was a heat of the moment thing, but even considering the possibility of leaving a life with Betty behind specifically so you can spend that much more time to focus on making a name for yourself in video-games or music is a seriously bad move in my admittedly no-more-experienced-than-you view. You don't need to put everything in your life on the line to accomplish your goals. You can pull it off without that, and that's not conjecture. There are plenty of successful people who kept friends and other loved ones close,even if not all of them. I'm also way behind on what I want in life, but I'm still way behind you both in education and practice on my own time. I look up to you, and, while I'm grateful I haven't had to go through the same kinds of situations you have, I'm crazy jealous of you as a person. If I had half the drive and dedication with my art as you've shown towards the things you love, I'd be much more pleased with my life.

 

If you trust me at all, know that I'm being honest when I say that you are as talented and, more importantly, skilled as people say. You don't need to work for talent, but you've worked hard to get better at things, even if many of said skills aren't indicative of the direction you want to take your life. Sure, speaking and writing in Japanese and being able to make and mass produce small charms and the like probably isn't going to get you closer to making video games or music, but I just assumed if you didn't enjoy those things you would have stopped a while ago. And if you don't like them you should stop, but otherwise it's far from a complete waste to simply have hobbies (especially when they make you money

 

And being a 21 year old with arthritic feet with bits of metal still left in them from the surgeries, I know what it's like to have to accept that there's some things in life that you just have to learn to live with and not let get you down. My feet will hurt and limit me for the rest of my life, but staying angry over impossible choices or things you can't change will only hurt me for no reason. It might sound hypocritical, and it probably is, but I'm speaking from experience. Even after you finish with college there's going to be more crap other people will expect you to do that you'll have no choice in. You'll never have absolute freedom, and will always have to answer to someone, even if it's just the government for your taxes.

 

 I hope what I've said has been at least a little helpful and made some sense, but if not I'm sorry for wasting your time. v_v