_17chan
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Posts posted by _17chan
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i was never cool, so you can call me loser.
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i was gonna' quote the server being down and try and be funny but i already closed irc and i don't remember what it said..
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I think it is visually horrible.
good for you!
i think it's pretty neat. brian and i were playing it a lot the other night, and i finally got to playing it on my own last night. so sweet~ -
hey all. i know i've done a topic about songs i've written before, but this one is mainly to let you all know that i am finally in the studio working on recording my first ever EP! <3 so i'm dropping the link here, but i will keep up to date with how the process is going and when it's done i'll gladly share a sneak-peek at the album here!
have a listen, and tell all your friends!
https://thievesmtl.bandcamp.com/
also, i have a proper facebook now. like!! http://facebook.com/thievesmusicpheonix561, Teto, Cassandra and 1 other like this -
Hey, I'm glad you posted this. and I'm even happier that you're doing okay. I know we don't know each other well other than some random chat interactions, but this was a nice scope of your life and like Teto said, I know more about you now.
this really got me:
while I'm not exactly living a lavish or exciting life and I do live with my parents, because I don't make a lot of money, I just think of how this is how I felt last weekend. I'm terribly lonely. my best friends moved far away and my only friends are from work, and even then they're older and are married or are married and have young kids. and we're always so busy with work, like any spare time I have is devoted to eating or sleeping. it's not like I don't have anyone to talk to, I interact with around 150 students and 10-20 faculty everyday, but I don't have friends to shoot the shit with or a someone to go to the gym with or anything. I really felt this last weekend, when it was my birthday, and I was overcome with this crippling sense of loneliness. and then I realized that a part of me might be depressed.
it's a bad place to be. and I want out, but there's not much I can do to change my situation until I make more money.
i understand that. i'm sorry you felt that... i know it may mean next to nothing to you, but i'm here if you ever want to speak! if you want to vent, or tell a story, or talk about your day, maybe? or you could message me and say "hey it's my birthday!" and i guarantee you i'll respond and want to chat.
i know it's important to have people in person. online friends are great, but of course it feels good to interact with people outside of the internet. however, i also learned that some of my BEST interactions with people were online AND even on this site / in the IRC chat. you'll get out of your funk soon. and until you reach the point you want where you've made enough money, i'm here! and i'm sure lots of others are here too who care about you!
that goes for ALL of you, by the way. <3 -
nah, don't worry! i've done what you mentioned before, so you're not too far off! ;P
Teto likes this -
I could tell that you were anxious about posting this in part because of how you safeguarded yourself at the end by saying you don't expect replies or likes; in a sort of self preservation tactic to feel less disappointed if you didn't get a satisfying. I like noticing behavior like that, because I can totally relate. People can get pretty tied up trying to deny their need for validation, but most people need that security to ensure peace of mind.
Teto likes this -
thanks, man.
i remember you 'cause of the "time paradog" and that always stuck in my head haha! but yeah, i hesitated posting about this because i was afraid it would make me look like i was grabbing for attention. but, to be honest, i said it because i want everyone to know that even at THIS low point, there's a way to turn it all around and make the right choice. if anyone here ever feels remotely close to what i felt, or the same, OR worse, don't be afraid to talk about it.you can have a lavish exciting wealthy life and still feel like there's nothing for you. it doesn't matter the life you live, it's how you feel. but no matter what life you live, you're important and there are people out there who care for you.
Cirt likes this -
hi all.
i'm well aware that a lot of you probably have no idea who i am or have not spoken with me much. that's ok. my name is alex jamieson. i live in montreal, quebec. i'm 24 years old. i went to school for computer support & repair, and i loved it. i'm a musician on the side. i play guitar, bass, drums, i sing, and i'm a lyricist. i'm known to some people as 'sink', 'sinky', 'chan' and i've seen someone call me 'silky' before, but that may of been a typo. i'm writing this because it has a lot to do with what is going on in my life and what i feel, and it's very important that i'm blunt and open about it because being quiet about it has not helped at all, and i consider this to be my safe place / some of you to actually be good friends of mine regardless of how long i've been a member.
i spent the past year living in an apartment with my best friend 'meagan'. i was running my own business in IT (started september 2014) and i enjoyed it severely. i made good money, and i was my own boss, made my own hours, and had my own responsibilities. it felt amazing. to make a long story short, business thinned out by april and that's when i also found out i was being chased by debt collectors for my credit card (which i just forgot about, to be honest. my fault. i know.) so, i decided to keep pushing and just make sure i paid my rent on time. i had some problems with money, and a lot of them were just due to the fact that i'm bad with money. i ended up saving my ass last minute a lot, though, which was kind of good. anyway. during this entire period (in fact, since july 2014), i was dating a girl named jordi. she was the apple of my eye and the love of my life. she bugged the hell out of me sometimes, but she was still perfect in every way possible. she helped me believe in myself in terms of my business and getting ahead in the world. she made me feel like i could do anything.
i couldn't.
as things got worse and worse and business got worse and worse, i just gained weight. i did manage to quit smoking cigarettes in july 2015, which was nice. but it didn't help, that's for sure. by the time august stretched around, i had to let go of my love. i was on the verge of dragging her down into my deep and dark world of debt and dismay, and i couldn't imagine doing that to who i knew in my heart was the brightest young english teacher that would enrich the lives of hundreds and hundreds of high school students, and also to who i thought of as the best author and story writer known to mankind as a whole. i told her it was over. she cried. so did i. we both knew it had to happen, and we went our separate ways. after that, things just fell apart faster and faster. rent couldn't be paid on time, roommate was leaving to go home, the apartment had issues from day one that were never repaired, it was all just one bleak mess. my roommate and i just left the place. i couldn't bring everything down myself, so i had to leave things behind. rent has not been paid. a court date has been scheduled. i'm due to owe the rent + an 80$ charge + they're charging me for not taking everything out of the apartment.
i'm currently living on my friends couch with all of my stuff in boxes. i've tried looking for a normal job but to no avail. in fact, i even ended up getting one but it doesn't start until the 14th and, although this is picky, it's overnight. i'm a day person, but in this situation i can't be picky. no matter how much it upsets me.
this is where it gets really scary. i woke up this morning, and i rolled out of bed (or should i say 'couch') and found myself unable to do anything. i barely made it to the shower without collapsing. i forced myself through it, and then i started to get dressed and march out the door. i had a few appointments and important things to take care of and then i just decided to drop it all. i found a patch of grass outside and i started to think about how amazing it would feel to just lay there and sleep and never wake up and just never have to do anything again. i started thinking about how i wouldn't care if someone found me and took all of my stuff. i started to wonder if i would care if anyone came up to me and hurt me. that was when i realized that i wasn't feeling well and that i needed help. i started to think about all of the times someone told me to give up on what i was doing, and i figured maybe it was time to give up on life.
i took my phone out and i dialed a number. i had nobody to speak to so i just looked online so i could just talk to anyone. i found the suicide action montreal hotline. i called them and spoke to them. she listened to me for over 30 minutes just going on and on about everything and how i was hurt and sad and depressed and just wanted it to be over. she reassured me that it's not the answer. that there's so much to live for even when things are at their absolute worst. i don't have to hurt forever and it started with me taking a step forward and talking to someone about it. i'm still sad. i still feel hopeless and lost. but i know that i'm not alone and that's all i wanted to know right now. i feel like i can still do anything i want to. before i called her, i felt like nobody cared and i just wanted to end everything. now i feel like this is the REAL beginning of my life and i decide what happens. i control my own destiny and that makes me so happy to know that it's still an option.
i don't expect multiple replies. i don't expect 'likes' or whatever they are on here. i just expect you to read this and hear my story and remember the next time YOU feel lost and alone and sad and you feel like life isn't worth living; it is. and if ANY ONE OF YOU EVER want to talk to ANYONE because you feel like suicide is the only option, or drugs, or alcohol, or WHATEVER it may be.. i'm here for you, and i will drop everything i'm doing to talk to you because i know what it's like to feel alone; it's the worst. but you don't have to feel that way. none of you do. and i'm here for that.
thank you.
Cirt, SilverAlchemic, Teto and 2 others like this -
[22:25:04] <@Nabe> When I was 3, my sister made banana muffins
[22:25:19] <@Nabe> I had a nightmare that night that a giant muffin was trying to eat me
[22:25:24] <%Fierce_Muffin> Ahahahaha
[22:25:28] <%Fierce_Muffin> No wonder you hate me
[22:25:43] <@Nabe> Yeah, that is basically a microcosm of my whole existence
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new forums look nice. like, actually nice. anyway.
who's going to otakuthon? i don't like anime and i need people to show me what the big deal is. and i already bought tickets because FLOW is playing.
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you're all shit. what's the deal.
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lol yeah blacks lol
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the only thing on my mind is getting this puppying PS3 to work. RSOD, anyone?
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oh wow i thought he meant hot as in heat. i'm so dumb.
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Its just a chat room. I mean, just the other day me, snowy and Double spent like an hour talking about Twin Peaks. Anime is discussed, certainly, but its hardly the only thing going on there
honestly, i never talk about anime (unless i'm pretending to like it just for the fun of it), and i love going there.
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"the glass slide" by veil of maya.CALIBRATTEEEE
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There is no "original topic." This is the talk topic. In here we talk. Oh my god. Can you read. What the puppy.You were on topic the whole time.
;___; sorry....
pheonix561 likes this -
i personally enjoy the chat. sometimes i'm getting shit on (which i assume is in good fun), sometimes i deserve it, sometimes it's just fun to be able to sit down and talk to some people. i've actually learned shit from there, it's pretty neat, and i feel i've made some pretty rad friends.
that being said i had to post this because i'm so damned excited, i just fixed a computer for a very important client that i was literally so close to giving up on. i'm super stoked, and i'm also going to be PAID. so i'm very happy.
you may resume to your original topic. <3
Cirt likes this -
If for some reason you need a Gold Crown Monster Hunter to back you up just say the word. You should be able to find help just fine though
actually i kind of just want to hunt with some new people / friends, so regardless of your rank, i'd be down.
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^^ wtf, that's so wicked. awesome, dude! i feel like i'd never be able to pull anything like that off, haha.
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thieves - junko
in Original User Content
Posted
new song i've written.
explicit lyrics, be warned.
http://picosong.com/KsqE/
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i just want to learn and see the world glow.
it's my disconcern when i hear your voice grow.
and now i'm blind. and i'm scared.
and you'll tell me what to do, and i'll comply.
and they'll forget. they're so afraid.
they know my name. they'll know i'm sane.
they can't intervene. they know what i'll do.
i'm capable of so much.
hold the phone and tell them you're ok.
tell them that you've run away, that you didn't want to stay.
and when you're done, we'll load our guns.
put you in a drum, let cement fill your lungs.
it'll drown out whining. you'll still hear crying.
come near the stairs, don't touch the door.
are you up for this? we can't ignore this.
make her feel more 'til she knows what a whore is.
break her and shake her and make her beg for it.
life is a gift and we're known to exploit it.
and we'll forget. we're not ashamed.
they'll know our names. they're not so safe.
the streets are dark, the world is stained.
your blood is ours, your heart's at stake.
hold the phone and tell them you're ok.
tell them that you've run away, that you didn't want to stay.
and when you're done, we'll load our guns.
put you in a drum, let cement fill your lungs.