JOKES! tell us your jokes!

[Mikel ~ Retired 1]

hey every1! time for a new topic. not sure if any1 has posted this topic b4, but ive never seen 1.

so, post the funniest jokes here!

we accept, knock knock, docter docter, wats the differace between, wat do u get when u cross a...

etc etc etc

heres mine, i got this off the comedy chanel so it may not be funny when i say it. but it was when he said it.

"i was driving through this town right. then a cop car pulled me over"

cop: "you from around here?"

"...yer..."

cop: "alright then, what nights bin night".

(its not exactly what he said, but thats what i remember)

[bop14 0]

okay the best joke ive heard in a while and mine was funnier when my dad the teacher.

a custodian was really serious about her job says "your students have been stick pencils down the toilet look " * Holds up pencil*

my dad" whoo is that a number two!!!"

[ZuZu 10]

all my favourite jokes arnt appropriate for this site... sorry

[Hyrulian_Master 0]

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

You're too young to smoke..... HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Come on, grab a ***, son! You're a chimney for Christ's Sake! Too young to smoke..... HA HA HA HA! That's a good one!

[Vio Milanor 28]

What do you call an octorock that thinks it's an octorock!? And octorock! HAHAHAH AHH! EH GET IT.. BECAUSE IT'S AN OCTROTOCK.. and it thinks it's an octorock *crickets* I wish i was an oscamyer octorock... *sits in the corner alone*

What did the big tomatoe say to the small one... that was slow..

KETCHUP!!!

Um... What did Link see when he got hit on the head? FAIRIES! You know.. isntead of birds or stars....

[Dusty 0]

ok there were 3 guys on a plane a french man, a german man and an american.

German: i will drop an apple because i love my country.

they landed and saw a boy crying.

German:whats wrong little boy?

Boy: an apple fell on my head!

They got back on the plane and flew over france.

French:i will drop a pineapple because i honor my country.

they landed again and saw a girl crying.

French:whats wrong little girl?

Girl: a pine apple fell on my head.cry cry cry

they got back in the plane and flew over ameica.

American: i will drop a bomb on my country because i love it.

When they landed they saw a lady laughing.

American:Why are you laughing?

Lady:I farted and my house blew up!

[LinkSparda 0]

I copy-pasted this, but that's just because I can't remember it:P

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a$$ to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".?Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their a$$e$!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

[Link1721` 0]

Lol, funny.

I saw this one on the RuneScape forums:

2 guys were at a bar on the 30th building of a sky scraper.

Guy 1 flies around the build 3 times and comes back.

Guy1: The stuff the bar tender gave me makes me do that, here, have some.

Guy 2 takes a sip and jumps out the window and falls to his death.

Bartender: That wasn't very nice Superman...