The Guardian Saga: Twilight Falls

[Stormsworder 0]

((Hey all, I'm a new member here, so this is also my first post on the forums after finding this place through Zeldawiki... So, here goes. This is my first Zelda story, and so I hope I don't disappoint with it. Twilight Princess-era, and I started working on this around Christmas holidays. Also, comments and critiques are GREATLY appreciated))

Chapter 1: The Children of a Royal Knight

The sun shined down warmly overhead on the courtyard of Hyrule Castle, a gentle breeze flowing through the towering spires on the beautiful spring day. The clashing of metal against metal filled the air, the source being two young men sparring against each other. Off to the side stood another young man with a girl in her early teens, the two watching the fighters. All of them were Hylians, their ears pointed and elven-like, and them men were clad in the armor of Hylian knights without the helmets. Each of them carried their own, unique weapon compared to the typical lances used by most of the knights. The eldest brother carried a long, two-handed sword with silver edges while the flat of the blade was dark grey on both sides. Embedded in the hilt was a clear crystal that sparkled in the sunlight. The young man himself was tall and handsome, his brown-hair messy and unkempt, clear blue eyes carrying a focused look while he wore a smirk on his face. He was Cale, firstborn son of the commander of the Royal Knights and an accomplished swordsman.

The one he sparred against was heavier built and muscular, the strongest of the three sons. He had short black hair somewhat slicked back, his green eyes sparkling with humor even as he struggled to land a blow on the quick-footed Cale. The warrior was swinging an ornate gold-and-silver colored axe with a crystal embedded below the axe head with ease, despite the fact it was of considerable size. Rurik, the second oldest, was known for his considerable strength but rather short temper, as was evident by the fact he was starting to get just a little annoyed at his brother’s speed.

Of the two spectators, the youth with the somewhat long black hair was the older one, the third son of the commander. He observed the match intently with narrowed green eyes, leaning somewhat on his silver-colored lance, a crystal just below the spearhead. He was well known as a strategist in the kingdom, having developed battle strategies in war games beginning at the young age of fifteen. Each of the three brothers was a year apart in age, the oldest being twenty-three, and they were infamous throughout the kingdom as soon-to-be royal knights and incredible fighters.

The youngest there was a girl of fourteen, sitting cross-legged in the grass, bright-eyed and excited as she watched the two spar. A plain iron sword rested in her lap, the girl wearing a simple long-sleeved white shirt and brown cloth pants. Her beautiful sapphire eyes were filled with wonder and admiration for her brothers, brown hair with a few blonde streaks tied back behind her head. Despite her tomboyish appearance, Danielle was actually a noble and the youngest child of Commander Greil. The only problem was that she always skipped out on her nobility lessons, much to the ire of both her father and her teacher. She had a fascination with swords and battle and detested the proper manners and etiquette of the stiff upper class. Due to that, her reputation among the nobility had taken a major decline, most of them viewing her as a rebellious child. So, Danielle had no friends among the noble children, prompting her to spend even more time with her brothers.

Above them, on a balcony overlooking the courtyard, stood the twenty-four-year-old ruler of Hyrule herself, Princess Zelda. Sapphire blue eyes gazed down at the sparring Hylians, her long brown hair streaked heavily with blond, an ornate golden headdress on her forehead with a single blue crystal set in the middle. Gold, ornately-designed shoulder guards were connected across her chest by a golden “necklace

Edited 12 Aug 2009 by Stormsworder (see edit history)

[Stormsworder 0]

Chapter 2: The Arrangement

Supper in the spacious dining hall was as normal as it was on any other evening. Rurik was boisterous and nosy as ever, laughing and drinking from his goblet while bragging to his fellow knights how he had finally managed to beat Blaine and would eventually best even Cale. Blaine and Cale ignored him as usual, instead turning their attention to Danielle. Cale was trying to do his best to explain different fighting strategies while Blaine amended them to take into account Danielle’s young age and inexperience.

As Cale sat back in his chair while discussing the best way to swiftly avoid and best attack a slow but powerful opponent, Danielle glanced past him to see their father, Greil, staring at her thoughtfully. She felt somewhat surprised, figuring that he would be looking irritated about her skipping her nobility lessons for nearly a week. Instead he seemed pensive, almost apologetic as his gaze met hers. Danielle paused for a second before tearing her gaze away, focusing instead on finishing her meal while pushing her wonderings about what her father was thinking to the back of her mind. Suddenly, as soon as she set her fork down, she felt a hand rest on her shoulder, startling her. She looked down to see a slender, white-gloved hand there. To her right, Blaine had also seen the hand and glanced back, his expression changing from one of thoughtfulness to one of great surprise. Danielle slowly turned her head to the right to look over her shoulder, but she could only make out part of an elegant dress. Whoever was standing there was directly behind her. Blaine, who was able to see just who it was, stammered somewhat just loud enough for the other children to hear. “P-Princess Zelda?

[Teto 2609]

The sun shined down warmly from overhead on the courtyard of Hyrule Castle, a gentle breeze flowinged through the towering spires on the beautiful spring day. The sound of clashing of metal against metal filled the air,

I'll just use the first wee bit as an example.

It's nothing about the story at all, in fact, I've liked what I've read. The only problem is how it is written. For the first and last pieces highlighted, they seemed a little off to me. Like they could have been a little more specific at least, which isn't a huge problem.

Also, the story begins in the past tense and then you say "flowing", suggesting it is in the present. Small errors like that can make it seem a little off, but if you can get away with it, feel free.

Things like this appear a few times. They're easy to spot and to correct, so there's no worries there. I hope I helped.

I repeat: There's nothing wrong with the story. ;D

[Stormsworder 0]

I'll just use the first wee bit as an example.

It's nothing about the story at all, in fact, I've liked what I've read. The only problem is how it is written. For the first and last pieces highlighted, they seemed a little off to me. Like they could have been a little more specific at least, which isn't a huge problem.

Also, the story begins in the past tense and then you say "flowing", suggesting it is in the present. Small errors like that can make it seem a little off, but if you can get away with it, feel free.

Things like this appear a few times. They're easy to spot and to correct, so there's no worries there. I hope I helped.

I repeat: There's nothing wrong with the story. ;D

Heh... Actually, now that I think about it... I'm not sure I fixed all the mistakes that my friends from -=ACE=- pointed out... now that I have no more school, I should go through and do that... it's just that I get these chapters from where it's already been posted on forums for ease of having BBC code there... So I'm a bit on the lazy side.

Yeah, I think I always had problems with verb tenses... *rubs her chin* Even when I first did my stories. Glad that you like what I have so far ^^

[Stormsworder 0]

((Me = Zzzzz.... Right now. Anyhow, here's another chapter, may put up another one tomorrow after I get done with the gazillion things I have to do.... X-x))

Chapter 3: First Lesson

The day seemed to wear on forever for Danielle as she endured her lessons under Zelda’s tutelage. Although nowhere near as boring and condescending as her former teacher, Zelda was strict as could be, scolding Danielle when her mind began to wander while she stared out the window and challenging her in her lessons to keep her mind sharp and focused, the lessons she learned remaining fresh in her mind.

The scratching of her writing on paper filled the silent room, her brow furrowed as she focused on what she wrote. The princess stood over her, reading what she wrote over her shoulder without expression. Apparently, Zelda didn’t care much about the fact that she was making Danielle anxious with her over-the-shoulder reading. If anything, the princess was probably finding this humorous as Danielle occasionally glanced at Zelda out of the corner of her eye.

“That’s enough,

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Chapter 4: The Fall of Hyrule Castle

Danielle had finished her lessons as fast as she could the next day, although her mind was continuously wandering while she worked. Finishing them in what seemed like record time to the young girl, she sat up straight and looked up towards her mentor, seeing Zelda smirking in satisfaction as if she had expected this sudden and unusual behavior from Danielle. “You seem more eager than usual to finish your studies today, despite the fact you have always complained about how much you despise these lessons,

[Stormsworder 0]

Chapter 5: The Invasion of Twilight

Princess Zelda had hated being forced to surrender to the invaders, the action leaving bitterness in her heart. She couldn’t and she wouldn’t sacrifice the lives of her people just to defy this dark invader. Even if it meant Hyrule had to live under this evil man’s rule, at least her people would still be alive.

And a hero will be able to save us.

She wore a frown on her face as she gazed coolly at the helmeted figure, her frown deepening as she saw who had just entered the throne room seemingly unnoticed by the Shadow Beasts. Immediately she recognized the person who stood there, her heart skipping a beat within her chest.

No, Danielle! Don’t!

It was too late, as Danielle had rushed forward to attack robed man. One of the two large Shadow Beasts that served as his personal guard reacted quickly, its large hand wrapping around the back of her head before slamming her painfully hard into the ground, her momentum being added to the force of its shove. Zelda flinched inwardly as she heard Danielle’s scream of pain, sorrow tearing at her heart even as she tried to do her best to hide it. The man looked back somewhat, seeing Danielle there with her face pressed down against the stone floor. “So, one still tries to resist, even after Hyrule has surrendered? And a child no less?

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Chapter 6: Beginning of an Adventure

Zelda’s words hung in the air, Danielle trying to comprehend all of what the princess had just said. Before her waited that which she had always dreamed of: her own life without having to follow the rules of nobility and her father’s orders, a chance to do what she wanted and follow her dreams of becoming a fighter. But despite the fact that the chance of a lifetime awaited her, she was also intimidated by the unknown. Princess, I’m… I’m not sure about this. I mean, I don’t think I’m strong enough to do this. I am still learning to fight, so how do you expect me to do all this?

The princess smiled gently. “That is why I believe you are ready for this. You have long desired to become a fighter, and now is your chance, as I’m sure you are aware.

[Stormsworder 0]

Chapter 7: Twilight’s Curse

Danielle stalked forward slowly, crouched low to the ground, her blue eyes narrowed intently as she used her heightened senses to see the dark insect in front of her. It was the last Shadow Insect that carried one of the Tears of Light, the scattered power of the Spirit of Light Faron, which was essential in restoring the spirit and dispelling the veil of Twilight from Faron Province. She had worked alongside the wolf to track down each and every one of them, and this insect was the last to take out. She tensed up sharply before leaping forward to claw at it, only for it to try and dart away. That was when a dark shape shot in from the right, snatching the insect in its powerful jaws and shaking the creature viciously before tossing it aside, the insect’s body exploding into dark particles and releasing the Tear of Light within it. The wolf lifted his head, Midna holding onto his fur tightly with a slightly annoyed look on her face. “You know, you can be a bit more careful about that in the future. I nearly fell off! Considering you’re my servant, you should be more considerate of me.

[Stormsworder 0]

((yeah, sorry for the long vanish... I had games that were distracting me. And it kinda seems I'm not getting much attention on here with my fanfic... *sighs*))

Chapter 8: A Brother’s Fury

Danielle flapped her wings, lifting into the air as Atroc’s blade passed right under her with enough force to rock her small body in its wake. Regardless, she struck at its face, claws raking against its stone flesh. Its left arm swiftly shot up, swatting her away and sending her crashing to the ground painfully hard. She shook her head, grunting and rising to her feet, catching sight of its raising its sword. But instead of striking her as she tried to get her bearings straight, it struck the ground with the tip of its sword, darkness shooting out in a wave towards her. Reacting quickly, she flew into the air and avoided the attack, now making the thrust her claw at its chest. She had missed striking at the rocky skin though, her claw sinking slightly into the magma. Pain seared across her claw, Danielle quickly flying backwards and favoring her right claw.

Its body is solid rock, and any part of it that isn’t is instead too dangerous to even touch. How can I even hurt this thing, let alone defeat it?

Atroc was now raising its left arm, aiming the crossbow at her. Baring her teeth, Danielle dove down, trying to zigzag through the air to throw off its aim. She knew she could only buy so much time this way, trying to think of what to do next. A bolt of darkness shot from the crossbow, Danielle just barely avoiding it, feeling a chill brush by her side. Another came at her, forcing her to abruptly pull up to avoid getting hit. But being so focused on avoiding the shots had made her take her attention off of Atroc’s sword, which was swinging up from below her. The blade nicked her chest, searing pain tearing across her chest before quickly being replaced by a cold unlike any other. It was as if ice was forming within her body where the blade had struck, Danielle floating back and clutching at the injury while inspecting it. The cut was shallow and not bleeding much, but the cold wasn’t fading.

That sword… that is definitely no normal sword. It barely even cut me, yet it feels like my entire chest is frozen from the inside.

“Never take your eyes off your enemy, sister!

[Stormsworder 0]

Chapter 9: One Step Closer

Whoops.

Danielle looked at the ruins of the building she had just barely escaped from, black smoke drifting slowly into the air. Hunting the Shadow Insects had led her to some kind of storage shed. Unfortunately, whatever was being stored inside also happened to be highly flammable, as lighting a fire in the fireplace to smoke out the insect had resulted in it catching aflame and spreading to flames to everything about it. Within a few seconds of her escaping, the entire building had exploded.

Fortunately, the three insects were killed that hid inside… although at the expense of someone’s home.

Without warning, something landed roughly on her back. Danielle snarled, thinking it was a foe as she snapped over her shoulder, only to have two small hands grab her snout and snap it shut. There sat Midna, rolling her eye as she held Danielle’s jaws closed.

[Stormsworder 0]

Chapter 10: Battle on the Bridge

“Wake… up… Wake up!!

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Chapter 11: The Legend of the Guardians

That is nearly all of the Tears of Light, I believe. But where is the last one?

Danielle soared through the sky, head turned downwards slightly so she could peer down at the Twilight-covered land. She had taken to the sky to help Link hunt the Shadow Insects, and now only one remained. While Link’s senses allowed him to see a short distance in front of him, hers were better suited at long distances. Working in tandem, hunting the insects in this province had been pretty easy so far, except for that last one. Circling over Lake Hylia once more, she caught a glimpse of some disturbance on the now-filled lake’s surface. Diving sharply, wings tucked in behind her, Danielle narrowed her eyes and noticed Link fighting a gigantic Shadow Insect unlike any other they had faced before. It was now on its back in the water, flailing about while Link jumped onto its stomach. With the aid of Midna’s powerful magic, he struck all of the legs in quick succession, causing the monstrosity to be defeated.

I forget that Link can easily take care of himself. He doesn’t need my aid. He is the chosen hero of the gods, after all, she thought. That fight against Atroc was mostly just because he was unprepared.

She pulled up now, no longer diving down as she hovered in the air and watched the final Tear of Light drift down to Link, the wolf claiming it. Bright light filled her vision as the Twilight was dispelled, her body now feeling light as a feather suddenly. Unlike previous times, however, she found herself alone in the spirit’s spring with Link nowhere in sight. Confused, she glanced about slowly before she realized that something else was different besides Link being missing.

“Behold, your awakened form,

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Chapter 12: Home Again

Danielle slowly stirred to the feeling of lying on something far softer than grass with warm blankets spread over her. Gradually opening her eyes, she stared up at a wooden ceiling, immediately growing confused. Obviously she was in a building instead of the spring, but where? How did she get here?

“It’s not like you’re treating her, doctor. She just needs a place to rest until she wakes up,

[Stormsworder 0]

Chapter 13: To Conquer the Strategist

He rode atop a pure black steed of unnatural size and strength, its eyes burning like coals. His short, messy black hair waved a bit in the breeze, green eyes narrowed dangerously. At his sides were several mounted Bulblins, bows in the hands of the second rider while the first held the reins of the Bullbos they rode. Blaine drew his lance, raising it to the night sky. One Bulblin archer stepped forward with a longbow, notching a flaming arrow. It aimed not at the wagon, but farther ahead. As the arrow soared through the sky and hit the grass, the oil poured out in a semicircle to block the way to the gate caught aflame, a raging inferno springing forth.

The frightened neighing of the wagon’s horses reached his ears, Blaine now pointing his lance at the target. Immediately the Bulblins surged forward, swarming in behind the wagon and its green-clad guardian. Blaine held his ground, watching as his plan was carried out flawlessly. The guardian had no time to even draw that boomerang that summoned the wind, firing arrow after arrow at his attackers. Soon, he and the wagon would be overwhelmed.

Unexpectedly, arrows shot one after another into the backs of the Bulblins, the mounted archers falling. Blaine growled, turning his head to the side and seeing his younger sister riding forward on Cale’s horse Jaraci with a bow in one hand and the other reaching for more arrows. This was something he hadn’t planned for. He had thought Danielle wouldn’t be able to catch up in time, let alone be a skilled enough archer to take out the Bulblins. He lifted his left hand, a golden gauntlet with a clear crystal in the middle of the top covering his whole left hand. Clenching his hand into a fist, the strategist urged his dark steed forward. Zant had ordered Danielle to be retrieved, but the shadow king never stated she had to be unharmed.

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Danielle felt searing heat graze her left cheek, her hand grasping another arrow. Her attacker rushed by on the boar-like mount, the girl plunging the arrow she held deep into its rider’s chest. “Link! How many arrows do you have left?