Things you NEVER want to hear your doctor say!

[Stormsworder 0]

Pediatrician: "Oh, the bone's not broken, it's just a bruise."

[two months and a different doctor later]

Doctor: "Wow, you snapped the bone clean in half. Let's hope it healed right so we don't have to rebreak it."

Me: o.o;

(Essentially, I was half asleep one morning and fell into the corner of a desk by my bed. Hit the left part of my left foot right on the corner, and apparently it hit a bone attached to a tendon. Snapped clean in half, and I had to walk on it for two months. Pediatrician said it was just a bruise. The pediatrist [foot doctor] actually bothered doing Xrays, unlike the pediatrician. Guess who I never went to again)

[Otis McNutt 395]

Pediatrician: "Oh, the bone's not broken, it's just a bruise."

[two months and a different doctor later]

Doctor: "Wow, you snapped the bone clean in half. Let's hope it healed right so we don't have to rebreak it."

Me: o.o;

(Essentially, I was half asleep one morning and fell into the corner of a desk by my bed. Hit the left part of my left foot right on the corner, and apparently it hit a bone attached to a tendon. Snapped clean in half, and I had to walk on it for two months. Pediatrician said it was just a bruise. The pediatrist [foot doctor] actually bothered doing Xrays, unlike the pediatrician. Guess who I never went to again)

Sounds like your doc was a quack! Brused bones are way different than breaks! Did they have to rebreak it?

Oh and I just got into "Flashpoint", great show!

[Jo-Bengt 0]

Doc: Alright, Jo, I've got good news and bad news.

Me: Let me hear the bad news first.

Doc: The bad news is, you're gonna die.

Me: -panicked- How long have I got?

Doc: A couple of weeks.

Me: What's the good news?

Doc: You saw that secretary when you came in?

Me: Yeah.

Doc: She's real pretty, ain't she?

Me: Yeah.

Doc: I've got a date with her tonight.

[Chase 390]

*The following is a true story*

***

After having suffered from an asthma attack on the football field, Chase made his way to the sports therapist, Melissa.

"What's wrong, Chase?" asked Melissa, fairly concerned. Chase never came to her unless something was very wrong.

"I...I don't know," Chase responded abruptly with shallow breath. "I...can't speak. It sounds like I have a frog in my throat."

Melissa took a look at Chase's neck, and to her surprise, there was a rather large lump protruding from it.

Every breath felt like a knife, and every word sounded too much like Kermit the Frog. Chase was in trouble.

Quickly, Melissa called Chase's parents and directed them to take Chase to the doctor. Disturbed, the couple rushed to the football practice and immediately took Chase to the doctor. The doctor examined Chase thoroughly, and, being the medical expert he was, sent Chase to the hospital.

The surgeon Chase was assigned to looked Chase over with a keen eye, and, being the genius he was, ordered an x-ray of Chase's throat and chest.

A few hours, an uncomfortable, revealing garb, and a few needle probes later, it was finally time to see the results of the x-ray.

The doctor...the suave, sophisticated doctor, walked into the room. Everyone was tense waiting for the results.

The surgeon began to speak.

"Well...Chase's results are in..." the surgeon mumbled.

"Well?" asked Chase's mother, exhausted and impatient.

"Chase is probably going to die in the next 4 hours. Just so you know."

Everyone in the room was silent, mortified. The surgeon calmly slipped out of the room.

***

So, yeah. That's a true story. And, as you can see, I'm still alive to tell it. Stupid surgeon. Had us all freaked for nothing. Turns out I had a hole in my lung. Not kidding. They'd never seen anything like it before. Miraculously, it healed on its own. I'm not really sure how it all worked, but thank God I was in such good shape. It kept them from giving me a chest tube.

Also, I apologize, because it isn't very funny. It is quite humorous though, because I don't know any doctor that has such a terrible bedside manner.

Edited 4 Jul 2009 by zeldafancs (see edit history)

[Stormsworder 0]

Nope. Didn't have to rebreak. My foot's never quite been the same since then, though. They said it healed fine, but I think there's still something off about it. It should not be uber painful when I swim with it. X-x [And yes, Flashpoint rocks!]

[Jo-Bengt 0]

Really? And how young was this "Melissa," Zeldafancs?

[Otis McNutt 395]

Nope. Didn't have to rebreak. My foot's never quite been the same since then, though. They said it healed fine, but I think there's still something off about it. It should not be uber painful when I swim with it. X-x [And yes, Flashpoint rocks!]

I broke my ankle when I was 13, and to this day 10 years later it still feels off. Every once and a while I'll be walking and then bang, my feet fall out from under me.

And now to get back on topic

Doctor: You have Lukemia, or something I can't remember!

Doctor: Did a nurse give you a blood transfusion? She did! Oh well I hear the Rabies injections are near painless!

Doctor: I cut my finger! Hey is that blood? *faints*

Edited 4 Jul 2009 by Savanti Romero (see edit history)

[Arcane 12]

"Hmmmm...... That's new."

[Ryu 7]

Doc: Alright, Jo, I've got good news and bad news.

Me: Let me hear the bad news first.

Doc: The bad news is, you're gonna die.

Me: -panicked- How long have I got?

Doc: A couple of weeks.

Me: What's the good news?

Doc: You saw that secretary when you came in?

Me: Yeah.

Doc: She's real pretty, ain't she?

Me: Yeah.

Doc: I've got a date with her tonight.

OH GOD. XD I've seen that somewhere before, but it was dirty... I know I did...

[Arcane 12]

"Nurse, do we have any duct tape? That stuff will fix anything."

[Ryu 7]

"OH MY GOD!"

"What!?"

"Oh, it's just your nose..."

[Jo-Bengt 0]

I actually heard it from my 8th grade science teacher.

[PokeFan 0]

It shrank. Literally.

That could mean many things, sick people. >(

[Arcane 12]

"Hmm... you won't be needing this one."

[Chase 390]

Really? And how young was this "Melissa," Zeldafancs?

Lol.

She's married and has a kid.