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Words of Wisdom

56 posts in this topic

Posted

if your going to die accept it, its gonna happen eventually

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Posted

Toilets are cleaner than your keyboards.

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Posted

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a biotch

When in doubt, mumble.

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

When I was a kid, I had so many pimples, blind people would try to read my face.

The wisdom of nations lies in their proverbs,

which are brief and pithy.

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Posted

That last one was my favourite!

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Posted

Very wise words. You are worthy of your name, Socrates ;-)

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Posted

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Assassins do it from behind.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

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Posted

Hahaha. Those are great, but just one thing...

Assassins do it from behind.

I'm hoping you don't mean what it sounds like you mean.

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Posted

That's how the universe works. Stars explode, then stuff happens.

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Posted

Dont feed the bears!

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Posted

Dont feed the bears!

LOL

Don't jump off the empire state building.... Jump off Taipei101 ! :D

It gives you a longer flight time :D You get to have fun before you die!

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Posted

The fight isn't over until you've won, no matter what the other man thinks.

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Posted

Love is similar to chasing a dragons tail. Once you achieve such an incredible feat hold on because it's rare and spectacular.

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Posted

Dwelling on the past can only destroy the present and doom the future.

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Posted

He who is certain he knows the end of things when he is only beginning them is either extemely wise or extremely foolish. No matter, for he has put a knife in the heart of wonder.

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Posted

There about three things you can count on in life:

Nothing is free

Everything Steven Spielsburg touches turns to gold

Advice from others you didn't ask for is problely incorrect

Not every one can count or spell

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