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Forest of memories

6 posts in this topic

Posted

it has been seven years since the events in Majora's mask. Link, a strong young man of 18, continues to search for his fairy, Navi. His journey brings him to a fairy village in the outskirts of the lost woods. there he meets Navi's younger brother, chase, and the two trek the tunnels of time to reach the forest of memories. It seems like Link's search will finally come to an end...if he can survive that is.

let me know what you think, i might make a sequel

forest of memories.doc

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Posted

yOU KNOW, IT WOULD BE A LOT EASIER TO JUST POST THE FAN FIC ON THE PAGE.

iT DECREASES MY MORALE FOR READING IT IF i HAVE TO DOWNLOAD AND OPEN IT, THEN DISPOSE OF IT LATER.

tHE FIRST THING i NOTICED IS THAT YOU SAID THE hERO OF tIME HAD RED HAIR.

wHAT IS THIS.

aNYWAY, IF YOU CLEANED UP YOUR WRITING TECHNIQUES, i THINK THIS WOULD BE ONE OF THE BETTER FAN FICS i'VE SEEN POSTED UP HERE. sPELLING'S ALRIGHT, IT'S GOT A SORT OF DRIVING FORCE, i SUPPOSE.

yOU SHOULD JOIN SENTENCES TOGETHER, WITH MORE DESCRIPTION AND A BIT MORE ELEGANCE. fOR INSTANCE

The land had been peaceful for many years. It had survived a long war five years ago and was living in peace with neighboring countries.

tHIS COULD BE SOMETHING LIKE, "tHE FIELDS OF HYRULE KNEW NO BLOOD SINCE THE BESIEGING WAR WAS DISSOLVED HALF A DECADE AGO, AND WAS LIVING IN TRANQUILITY AMONGST ITS NEIGHBORING KINGDOMS."

yOU SHOULD ALSO IDENTIFY THE CHARACTERS THAT ARE SPEAKING WITH MORE WORDS. yOU USED "aT THIS, THE MAN" LIKE TWICE IN A ROW, AS WELL AS "tHE BLACKSMITH". uSE SOME SYNONYMS, ETC.

yOU'VE ALSO GOT SOME STUFF THAT'S CONFLICTING WITH THE CANON, HERE. "cAMERAS" ARE TYPICALLY REFERRED TO AS "pICTOBOXES" IN THE zELDA UNIVERSE.

i HAVEN'T READ IT ALL, i ADMIT, 'CAUSE i THINK YOU HAVE MUCH ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT.

pLEASE STICK AROUND THE SITE.

gREETINGS ON BEHALF OF THE MODERATING TEAM,

sAHAQIEL

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Posted

actually, the line read "a horse with hair as red as flames" it was Epona i was referring to

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Posted

oH.

ePONA DOESN'T HAVE RED HAIR.

sHE'S SORT OF A DARK CHESTNUT COLOR WITH A WHITE MANE.

aLTHOUGH CHESTNUT IS TYPICALLY DESCRIBED AS REDDISH BROWN, IT IS CERTAINLY NOT NEAR AS RED AS FLAMES.

aLSO, FOR SERIOUS, YOU SHOULD JUST POST THE THING ON YOUR THREAD.

sAHAQIEL

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Posted

the reason i didn't post it on here is because other places i post it have a 1000 character limit, instead of dealing with that, it's easier to have the person download the file

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Posted

I wouldn't think so.

We don't have a limit, here.

Go crazy.

Sahaqiel

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