BloodOrphans.

[Chrno 0]

READ FIRST: Ok, so I get then weird ideas, and Ive always wanted to write, so basicly this is just an overview of the story to see if it would be something you would read. Firstly, it needs to be noted that this story is for mature people only, it can touch on the bit inhumane side if you dont have a good imagination or you catch my drift. I got my influences from anime, manga and vampire stories. You see any vampire stories, but I think mine brings a new twist that I havent seen anywhere yet, and I think its original. I hope you like the overview of the story!

The Plot

So, basicly, it goes like this. There is a british or american teenage boy named Adrian (Thats the name I have at the moment, I might change it). At the age of 7 he was orphaned and apducted from his orphanage by an unknown and underground gang named as the RRR (Red Rose Resistance). Humans dont know that this group exists, but vampires do very well. What this group does would seem sickening and inhumane to humans alike, but to vampires its a dream. Adrian is abducted into this group as a "seeder". What this basicly is, is a prostitute for vampires (Ok, its not exactly a prostitute, but its the closest thing I could think of). He has to let vampires suck his blood, and the RRR group make a profit from the vampires paying for it. In the day, the 5 "seeders" (one for each blood type) are locked up in cells and chained to the wall to prevent them from escaping. The story takes place when he is around the age of 15-17, because any younger would sound perverted (And im really not perverted).Your probebly confused, but Iv'e got it all done in my head, Im just rubbish at explaining things. ANYWAYS, so, Adrian then has to escape along with his fellow 4 "seeders", who I havent had up yet .

Please give my some critical feedback, because I want to make this the best I possably can. If you cant understand the story, just try to catch my drift .

[atlasmist radiofreak 0]

yay you posted awrite my man!!!!!

only thing wrong i see cut red rose army thats a little too corny

[pheonix561 2080]

If I were you and I wanted a twist, I would make him a lot older. like in his forties or fifties. Otherwise its going to sound like just another vampire story.

And Why is the RRR a resistance? what are they resisting?

And are your vampires actual vampires or are they

Stephermonlooducks.

[Chrno 0]

I dont know, I just thought that resistance sounded diffrent to more boring words like "group" or whatever. And the thing about the age; if he was in his 40s or 50s, it wouldnt catch the audience I was looking for really, and being 15 myself I can kinda use empathy if he were 16 or 17.

[pheonix561 2080]

right, but the trouble is if you do a strapping young lad in a sexy vampire story at best you're going to bee written off as a meyer wannabe. Which will suck if you actually write a good book.

[Chrno 0]

right, but the trouble is if you do a strapping young lad in a sexy vampire story at best you're going to bee written off as a meyer wannabe. Which will suck if you actually write a good book.

True I guess, but I cant think of something to take its place. Any younger and im a pervert and any older Im delving into the unknown. I need thinknig time .

[Chase 390]

You totally copied your story from Daybreakers. Don't know if it was intentional or not, but that's what happened. Just saying.

[Chrno 0]

You totally copied your story from Daybreakers. Don't know if it was intentional or not, but that's what happened. Just saying.

Really? I never saw it :?; I need to look on wiki now

EDIT: I just looked at the plot on IMDb, and although there are a few similarities, my storyline is defenatly diffrent. For example, indaybreakers nearly everone is a vampire, in my story the population of vampire would be sparce. Just saying .

[Chase 390]

Yeah, I can just see people making the connection who've seen the movie. Because I've seen it and I immediately thought of it when I read your plot. True, they are different, but they're similar enough to warrant a comparison. And there's nothing at all wrong with using vampires, except that they're being really overused right now. If I were you, I'd invent a new beast/ghoul that has vampiristic traits, but is vastly different in some areas.

[atlasmist radiofreak 0]

calm down leadin man

try drawing inspiration from art!!