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Everything I need to know I learned from Zelda

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Posted

Feel free to add your own!!!

Listen to wise old wizards

-Princesses are worth saving

-Feed your horse plenty of carrots

-If a large hellish monster is running at you with an overly-large weapon and weighs somewhere between 300 and 500 pounds, just shoot it dead with an arrow. Works every time.

-Pick up coins whenever you can

-Don't let Deku Shrubs rob you blind

- Talking boats are awesome (after buying an $80 sail for it).

- Fish are great at mapping.

- Your shadow is a pain, but it desperately wants to help you anyway.

- Watch out for kids in masks... they're probably possessed.

- Teach your horse a song; that way, no matter where you left her, she's right by your side in less than 5 seconds.

-It's perfectally okay to steal a man's horse, as long as it was promised to your arch-enemy.

-Left-handed people can accomplish great things

-Catch the biggest fish

-That buzzing in your ear is a "helpful" fairy

-To win a girl, you sneak pass her personal guards into her backyard

-If your sword breaks, you obviously got ripped off

-If you wear the right clothes, you can breath underwater AND withstand intense heat!

-If you can't open a chest, just kick it

-To defeat a boss: Run around until you see an un-normal glowing spot on the boss's body or general vicinity. Hit said spot with whatever item you most recently acquired. If the boss suddenly goes limp or thrashes, continue to pummel its body with whatever you feel like. Repeat until dead.

-The secret to any enemy is to find their soft under-belly

-Stay out of dungeons

-Milk is good, especially when it comes straight from the source!

-All things come to those who grow up before their time

-If you can't do something, come back when you get a new item

-You can do just about anything with an ordinary ocarina

-Yes, you CAN have a relationship with a female fish

-Nobody minds if you run into their house and break all their pots

-If you loose your magic sword the hammer is a good second

-Chickens: Alone, pathetic. Together, alarmingly powerful

-Beware of bush-bombs

-When in doubt, try some of the Gorons' special crop

-Avoid the undead

-Gold spiders are of great monetary value to old, creepy women (call them Skulltullas!)

-If you can't reach it, Hookshot it

-Eating fairies is not at all morally reprehensible. You need it to recharge

-Beware of tricky Poes

-Sinking lures are NEVER off-limits

-If all else fails, ask the fairy (or consult the cheat book)

-Respect the ethnic differences of Gorons and Zoras

-Learn to tell the difference between a friendly shrub and a grumpy shrub

-Even with a horse, it's impossible to beat a man with rabbit ears in a race

-Just because the treasure chest is big doesn't mean that it holds something of value

-Get all the hearts that you can

-A big honkin' owl will follow you around and give you annoying, unnecessary advice and waste your time (Which is why you have arrows).

-Playing gemes with villagers instead of saving the world is always worth it

-All of those old key making shops closed. They must have been bought out by Ganon!

-Find the magic sword

-You'll always be able to strike up a conversation with strangers, glean wisdom from from the most ancient of sages and win the hearts of the most beautiful women in the kingdom, even though all you have as a vocabulary is a series of grunts, gasps and yells.

-You can talk to strangers as long as you have a weapon.

-That strange guy in the corner will give you $50 for bugs and $100 for a fish.

-Never kill a pocket cucco

- Crouching under a metal shield will protect you from the biggest of rolling monsters

-Rolling is always better than running

-Power has a fail safe...Absolute power is perfect love.

-No sword play in the house.

-If you swing your sword at a innocent person it will just bounce off or go through them. Knock yourself out!

-Parchment makes good toilet paper.

-Stealing treasures from people has no consequence, and they don't seem to mind.

-You hate things with the name of Like-Like.

-If something says "hey" enough times you will want to hurt it.

-You can never draw weapons in public places

-Avoid creepy midgets that sell maps that think they are fairies if at all possible

-No matter how insignificant any thing you pick up you will hear “BA DA DA DA

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Posted

...Wow. :joy:

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Posted

Teach this to your children! It shall come in handy someday!

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Posted

...There is actually a man under the toilet

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Posted (edited)

WTF!!! I can`t read so much!!

But still it`s very handful as a help guide:)!!

Edited by Postman (see edit history)

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Posted

So who's this new hero of wind character?

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Posted

So who's this new hero of wind character?

I made this account a couple days ago after i deactivated my Zelda wiki account cause the idiot Administrators were giving me all this crap.

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Posted

- there are actually people who only say one thing in their entire lives

- adding brooklyn accents to the killer bees make it all the better

- ghosts can throw fire

- horses can jump over fences higher than them

- bee larva actually does make good bait

- you can really trade pictures for statues?

- tingle tries to say his phrase as much as he can, unaware that he will never realize that he is NOT a fairy

- there is a point in rolling into trees

- branches DO burn if you dont put out the fire in time

- beans grow into levitating leafs

- pirates exist

- pumpkin soup is delicious and refreshing

i would type more but im at school

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