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I like that there My Little Pony show ok it is pretty good. (Also the old show is scary kind of and sexual sometimes and bad.)

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Posted

The New Show :D

So my friend and I were discussing the new My Little Pony show and we decided we had to watch it. We saw the first episode and it was pretty good. I hear it gets even better after the first couple episodes and so you can't even judge after the first one but hey I am judging and it was pretty good. I liked it a lot, and the shy yellow one is puppyING CUTE. It's a good show, it has good animation and an old cartoon feel. It also has a decent plot, likeable characters. I am kind of glad even that Hasbro lost the rights to most of the old ponies because they were really shitty ideas. Also the animator in charge did Powerpuff Girls and Foster's Home I mean come on. My friend liked it too and he is 20 and male so like it is pretty universally liked.

SO DISCUSS I GUESS.

-----

The Old Show D:

So everyone knows there was an old series of it right? It came out in like the 80's and played until I was a kid. I watched it, I remember it. Do NOT watch it lol. Before we watched the new one, we decided to watch an episode of the old one. First off, it's bad. The continuity is awful. At one point a girl is walking. She has 3 ponies with her. Scene change, and then suddenly she has 3. Moments later, she has SIX. The colors and markings and clothing of everyone changes from scene to scene. They are followed by these little fuzzballs that change from being a solid color to being rainbow at random intervals. At one point, they destroy an evil queen's cloak. Pan back to the queen, she is still wearing it even though they ripped it from her and tore it to shreds. The voice acting is all done by this one person it seems like, who is male, and he doesn't even change his voice between characters.

So yeah also other than being bad it is extremely scary to me a little? Because I was telling my friend about the old show and I was like "I only remember this one episode and here is the description of the scene I remember. It's all I can recall about the old My Little Pony." And he was like "Oh puppying wow that is EXTREMELY SEXUAL."

So to confirm that I am not crazy we went and found the episode and watched it. So this queen wants to be powerful right? And she needs a cloak to get magic from to perform her spells. So she kidnaps ponies to make a ponycloak out of. Which isn't sexual at all. What /is/ is that her goons round them up and she says that they are not ready yet for shearing. So she has her subjects chain the ponies down and wash them and paint their hooves with nail polish and do their makeup. And the ponies are all making distressed faces and struggling against their chains and these guys are /painting/ them and if there isn't someone out there right now today dressed in leather and doing this to their bitch I do not know what I can be certain about in this world.

And then once the ponies are ready for harvesting she has the goons chain the ponies to spinning wheels and make them spin yarn out of their own hair. At that point I dropped my crochet hook and my ball of yarn. I looked at it and then looked up at the screen and was like "jegus this is an abnormal amount of fetishism for a children's show and also I don't think anyone should have let me see this in my formative years."

So yeah.

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For a while now I've been voicing my opinion for this show, openly declaring it to be hogwash(horsewash ha ha). From what I can see, it's a reboot of an old show that doesn't change much from the original other than new animation and decent continuity. But the main reason this show bothers me enough that I have formed an opinion of it at all is that it is often compared to Homestuck( Notably, this comparison is the fault of 4chan's /co/ board, and Homestuck and MLP's rise to status as "that guy" threads), and because one show is bad, than the other must be bad.

This fallacy has also been played in reverse; If One show is good than the other must be good. I have had this played against me often lately, that because I like Homestuck I should also like this new "My little pony: Friendship is magic" series. Rather, I have had many people come to me to tell me the mlp series is good for a number of reasons I cannot accept. I am here to argue that one show is good, and the other is bad.

One point that stands against my argument, however, is the fact while I have been following Homestuck for over a year now(4/13 is today!), I have never watched a full episode of my little pony. For a fair argument, I have decided that if I want to talk about this show, then I need to do it with some knowledge on it. Below are my recorded thoughts as I watch the first episode, watching with the same level of criticism I deem appropriate for any show that appeals to my age group (18-21). I think this is a fair level of criticism because so many people my age watch and enjoy this show, and because an 18+ year old should know better. These are recorded as I watch.

On account of the inherent whimsy this show aims to convey, I am purposefully, whimsically omitting punctuation where appropriate. That is everywhere. This is the only part where I will be using proper punctuation, unless in direct quotes from the show, if i forget, or decide that my review should be easier to read and follow:

ponies are being ruled by horses (Reminds me of how black people were once ruled by white people)

Clear and present usage of stale night and day contrast

addendum yin yang for emphasis on staleness

horses control night and day holy shit

even more overused night is evil trope

One fateful day, the younger unicorn refused to lower the moon to make way for the dawn

>Day

>Moon

Horse's name is "Nightmare Moon" really wow k

"The Elements of Harmony" most powerful magic known to ponydom (ignoring she is a horse)

Can somehow use the power of a word that literally means working together, solo, to defeat the one person she's supposed to be working together with

Banishes the horse into the one thing said horse has power over (Much akin to James Bond getting tied up over a pit of piranhas and closing the door, assuming he's dead and leaving it at that)

Can control the sun and the moon without her sister, what was the point of there needing to be two horses to do this if one can do it alone

Some stupid pony who okay lets look at ponies

fell%20pony%20stallion.jpg

see the nose

see the hooves

let's look at these things

TwilightSparkle.jpg

see the nose

see the hooves

what the hell are these things

JESUS WHAT IS THIS THEME SONG

one pony in the theme song, the one with long purple hair and white skin or whatever who is clearly priding herself on her cosmetic appeal is the centerpiece for the lyrics "A beautiful heart."

Lets all laugh at the fact that people who spend so much time trying their darndest to look sexy have beautiful hearts

Why?

"Because magic makes it all complete."

"MOONDANCER" "TWILIGHT SPARKLE" OH JESUS CHRIST HAVE ALL OF US FORGOTTEN WHAT SPARKLE DOGS ARE

GO ON ANY SEARCH ENGINE AND SEARCH FOR SPARKLE DOGS YOU WILL FIND STUFF THAT IS ALL HORRIBLE AND DIRECTLY RELATED TO THE CHARACTER DESIGN HERE

how the puppy are they carrying presents on their backs like that, i dare you to put your birthday present on a pony's back and see what happens

how did that pony run up the stairs without changing it's trajectory brb mindbend

POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER YES puppy YOU DRAGON

what the shit is that pony doing with her horn and how is it making these books levitate everywhere

I was going to comment on how that dragon falling from that height should break way more bones than that, but this is a kid's show and simple physics rarely apply (though ponies should still learn how to run up stairs properly)(also i do not mind watching spike get hurt)

why the puppy do they keep referring to everything as "An old pony's tale"

people do not go around referring to things as old people tales that is not what they do

stupid shit can't spell precipice

or threshold seriously

why the puppy is Twilight Sparkle writing a letter to the princess about all this if the princess is the one who dealt with all this first hand

and why the puppy are they all women where are the princes and kings

I'm just assuming Spike is male to be honest

WHAT DID HE JUST DO TO THAT LETTER

okay magic fine

IS THE PRINCESS DOUBTING THIS IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN WHAT THE HELL

did they like

are the guys pulling the chariot slaves or something

what the shit, if this show is all about friendship and harmony why are they ostracizing an entire sex

i say sex because I'm pretty sure a lot of these female ponies are gender confused

did some pony just walk up to them and smile without saying a word, yeah i would reply with "uh hi" to that situation too, what a creep

WHAT THE SHIT JUST HAPPENED TO THE CREEPONY by the way they are called creeponies now

why is the cowboy horse wearing a cowboy hat, thats like a test monkey wearing a labcoat

jesus christ these ponies are extroverted "Way shore dew lak maykn nuw fraynds" (though I'm gonna be honest applejack seems okay, I'm not here to rip on their personalities if they don't deserve it)

everypony

wat

why do all the ponies that have to do with apples have apples tattooed to their asses that's like me working at a hospital and tattooing a syringe to myself

sure it looks like I'm some kind of miserable heroin addict out of context but when i explain it then I'm just levels of creepy

or are they born with these tattoos

do you mean to tell me that this is a caste system here, and all the ponies are doomed to work inside of whatever institution they were born into

an institution based on the color(s) of their skin

lol I'm eight minutes forty four seconds in after doing this for forty five minutes and here is a brief recap of what I've gathered on their society

Horses rule ponies (Slavery basically)

males are inferior (Sexism)

your life is dictated by your "mark" (slavery/caste system mix)

but all of that is okay because friendship is magic sooooooooooooooooo

YES TWILIGHT DISAPPOINT THE LITTLE APPLE BLOOM PLEASE GOD PLEASE LET THE LITTLE PONY CRY LET HER INNOCENCE BE SHATTERED

YES DISAPPOINT THEM ALL

OH WHAT THE puppy TWILIGHT COME ON YOUR WORK IS MORE IMPORTANT WHAT HAPPENED TO SAVING THE WORLD FROM DARKNESS YOU STUPID SHIT

did anyone else notice how her stomach was wobbling like that after the pie

does she just have no ribs or something

YES QUARTERBACK SACK YES

Rainbow dash i believe this is the start of a beautiful friendship

despite that you very clearly are the biggest sparkledog creepony of them all

hey you know how you solve a mud problem

by raining on it

that's how you get rid of mud

rain

okay lets be honest rainbow dash has a shitty name and design (I still like her character though)

in fact all of these things are basically Carebears, who I imagine are not far from getting their own reboot either

keeping the sky clear a la

so the pony wants to be in the blue angels, okay not complaining

CLOSE YOUR GAPING MOUTH YOU STUPID PONY

oh hey twilight sparkle finally made a friend hurray more fuel for the institutionalized magic based slavery caste system fire

really is this the pony that prides herself on sex appeal again good god i hate her so much

okay so she's british, "as t'were"

oh my god she has the BIGGEST ego

coiffurelslsehlg you are not french

"Canterlot" what is with all the horse puns we get it you are all horses

"Glamor and sophistication"

and now she's trying to get into twilight sparkle's admittedly barren social circle, only because of her status as someone who lives in Canterlot

hey white pony lets never be friends

no spike she was not wonderful at all

Cassanova

more like

CANTERnova aren't I a card

chirping bird chorus is Disney and sordid but at least they are actually chirping and not singing in human voices so points for that

Fluttershy

yeah okay Kimmy you were right about Fluttershy

but I mean oh my god her name literally has shy in it

can we all agree that if her name was Flutterbold or JetBrave or ShuttleDare then she would be a whole lot more brash or at least extroverted like the other ponies

I suppose we can just chalk that up to the horrible discrepancies this horsegod Celestia has founded their society upon

oh my god Fluttershy are you going to cry

oh my god i am kind of feeling bad for this pony right now

the only problem i am having is that she is covering her hair with her eye like an emo or someone who you know wears their depression on their sleeve

we get that you're shy you don't have to wear it on your sleeve

A BABY DRAGON OH MAN okay so she is not so shy i guess

"Oh my, he talks! I didn't know dragons could talk!" Okay so she's just stupid minus points for Fluttershy

or maybe they're all so stupid that they don't know what species the members of their society are and what they're capable of

which makes this caste system even stupider

minus points for everyone yaaaaaaaaay

it kind of puts everything into perspective a little better if you replace every time Fluttershy says "Dragon" with "Minority"

oh man a talking minority what do minorities talk about

I don't like Fluttershy very much anymore

okay so now she is abducting the little minority and trying to take him away to his bedroom to tuck him in goodnight, the minority she just met

a friend of mine once was in a situation like that, which she refers to as "Almost having been raped" (She went on to blame the whole of the Ukraine for her 'assault' but that is another story)

SURPRISE PARTY (why)

seriously where are all the boys

Pinky pie why did you throw a surprise party for a stranger and who are you and calm down

yes I do remember you gasping like a fish out of water

okay so ponyville is a small town and they welcome strange people i mean creeponies they've never met with very very intimate surprise parties

I like how she assumes she must have no friends

I don't want twilight to lighten up, i like her this way

fillies and gentlecolts, alright i admit I'm impressed at that pun

seriously why does no one else notice there are shooting stars flying right at that moon

are all of them freaking out because there's purple glitter

like everyone there is glittery and purple, why is purple glitter alarming

of course its nightmare moon

you know Twilight Sparkle if you weren't so obsessed with doing as you were told and more obsessed with proving Nightmare moon was totally going to be released today you could have prevented this

this is a horrible british accent, she doesn't even need to be british why is she british that's pointless

why are all of them gasping at her name "Nightmare moon" when they don't even know who nightmare moon is

I like the transition from her maniacal laugh to this upbeat credits song, it really sets the mood for their impending eternity of blackness

Okay! so, the episode is over, and here I am with my final thoughts.

Pros:

  • Applejack
  • Rainbowdash

Cons: (I probably forgot some)

  • Their lore transcends trite to the level of copy/paste
  • Their society is segregated by sex
  • Their society is segregated by skin(hide) color
  • Their society is segregated by species
  • Horrifying caste system
  • They are all okay with their prejudism
  • They ignore very real impending threats of damnation for the sake of their own leisure
  • They solve all of their problems with magic
  • Where in the world are all the males
  • They don't even look like ponies

My final verdict is that this show is terrible. I stand by my previous assertions that Homestuck is vastly superior, to the extent that the two are incomparable, not by genre differences, but by merit. Perhaps you will object that one episode is not a large enough dose to get an idea of this show. I retort with "I do not want to watch a show as racist as this show anymore."

I suppose, as a children's show, this show is alright. Pretty good, even. Though, I'm still annoyed at the distinct lack of men. This also isn't a show I would watch in my spare time, and I'm still annoyed people compare it to Homestuck so often.

At this point, I would normally post an essay about all the reasons Homestuck is so superior.

But, I have school work to do.

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eeeeeeeeeeee Friendship is Magic is the best <33333 I agree, Fluttershy is adorable as puppy hnnnnggggg ;_; but Pinkie Pie and Applejack are my favourites <3 But then again I like almost everyone in this show lol.

tbh unlike what everyone probably thinks, I haven't actually watched the whole show, I'm like... on episode 5 or something. Because I am very slow at watching tv shows etc etc but I'm really enjoying it so far obviously :>>>>>

Wow, kinda glad this is the first MLP related thing I've ever been invested in. The old show just sounds horribad :C And nightmare fuel-inducing oh god wat at the spinning yarn from their own hair.

Oh god pheo that post is puppying massive oh god skimmed it, I laughed but was also sad, also derp moment: lack of male characters is probably due to the fact the My Little Pony is targeted towards young girls derp derp learn to think. It's like in shows targeted at boys there's always like... 1 or 2 female characters? o_O Young boys get enough tv shows that aren't completely dumb for them to watch so I think that was a really stupid thing to nitpick at. also lol slavery I don't even. In fact the whole thing was "wat" because you're criticising it as if it was aimed at your age-group, which it's not fyi :>

But ok, opinion is opinion xD and my opinion is that ponies are awesome and lovely and are my newest obsession. Along with Criminal Minds. What a weird combination xD

Also Homestuck is boring, I can actually concentrate on ponies xD

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I like Homestuck substantially more but also through the first bit of it I was like "THIS IS STUPID." So like, you gotta give shit a chance.

I think there is a male in the Applejack family. Also from gifs I've seen a lot more males that come in later maybe.

Also I think that they get tattoos later. The baby in the Applejack family doesn't have one.

Also they are not based on sparkledogs, this shit is based off toys and a show from the 80's.

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Well, I know they're not based off sparkle dogs, my point is that going on design and names alone, if you just change the generic pony bodies here to dog bodies, leaving the tattoos, colors, wings, horns, etc, then you've got a sparkle dog. I'm saying, these are basically sparkle horses.

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Oh no read the wikipedia article. They aren't tattoos at all. They develop over time, like a dalmation's spots or something. You figure out what you're good at and what you want to do, and when you finally find something distinctive that you love or that represents you, you get a mark. It just grows on you.

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Well, I know they're not based off sparkle dogs, my point is that going on design and names alone, if you just change the generic pony bodies here to dog bodies, leaving the tattoos, colors, wings, horns, etc, then you've got a sparkle dog. I'm saying, these are basically sparkle horses.

OH MY GOD I JUST SAW ITU BROWSING THIS TOPIC HOLY SHIT GUYS WHAT THE HELL

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what

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yeah uhhh I've seen Spike, Big MacIntosh (Applejack's brother yeah), Sniffs and Snails (lol forgot about them :c ) atm, who are males. And MLP obsessed friend says there are more male characters later. So uhhh still moot point? :>

but anyways 6/22 released episodes done, wheeee I'm getting somewhereeeee :>>>> I'll probably catch up in like, a week or two or something xD TV Marathons ftw o/

gosh why is everyone and everything in this show so cute ;___;

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Pheo, Spike is like, one of the last dragons around if not than dragon are extremely rare so of course deep knowledge of dragons might not be common (I know this because my baby sister made me watch a mlp movie a couple years ago and it was the one were Spike first appeared)

Fluttershy I would think by your description might only open up to other animals (not ponies)

And pheo, if the horse hooves are larger than the knee than it is a pony making their queen just a tall pony

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Horses with hooves bigger than their knees:

Clydesdale:

Clydesdale_horse.jpg

Shire horse:

Shire.jpg

Belgian:

752px-Belgians.jpg

Percheron:

Percheron3.jpg

American Cream:

ACD_Horses_in_Parade.jpg

Special thanks to wikipedia and prior horse knowledge

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...

really. really?

to be quite frank, you are being ridiculous atm, who even caresssssss

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pheo your suspension of disbelieeefff.

goodness.

Also, your points would count against you if having a caste system is a bad thing. That would mean Homostack is bad, since it has a caste system and racism and all dat jazz, as an accepted prejudice.

Lack of males is also a bunk point, and you should have said that it's a bad thing for a children's show.

GOSH CASCADA. WHY DO YOU SUCK, TRYING TO GET GIRLS TO BE SNOOTY AND SEXIST AND CONCEITED AND SHALLOW?

I bet the males are big and buff. I'll just assume this.

Also, goodness. It's a cartoon.

LOOK AT THIS PERSON

arnold-schwarzenegger.jpg

81px-John_Egbert.png

THIS IS NOT HOW A PERSON LOOKS

Where are his arms? Why is he completely white? Gosh, he looks just like a vampire. No one has three front teeth! His shorts cover his whole legs. His glasses aren't even connected, and don't have stems for ears! And his hair is in a totally unnatural shape!

And lol, Homostack uses the alchimeter to solve a lot of their problems. It's p. much magic.

I don't agree that Homostack and MLP are comparable in any way, because what the dicks, it's just a shallow snooty reboot of something that was already a really lame and a predatory piece of merchandise that was drowned in pink so little girls conforming to society's sexist stereotypes would buy it, but bro.

Sahaqiel

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Ponies have hooves bigger than their knees, you say? Hmmmmmm...

ponyqv.png

Thank you for this information Rika. You have once again proven how awesome you are. :D

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pokemon just keep getting lamer

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