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I watched it, so you don't have too.

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Posted

I watched a movie yesterday that I DVR'd on Saturday. It was the Syfy Channel original "Morlocks". Now as the name suggests it is very loosely based on "The Time Machine" by H.G. Welles, and I mean LOOSELY!

The Movie opens on a group of US Army soldiers as they wander around a dark and very smokey or steamy landscape. As they go about their "Recon" one of them is attacked by an unseen creature. In a panic the others activate a "Time rip" using a device called "The Latch" unfortunately in the chaos The Latch is left in the past and is damaged causing the Time Rip to open at irregular intervals.

The Army calls upon Dr. Radnor (Stargate Atlantis's David Hewlett) to aid them in retrieving the device. He had worked on the project several years earlier with his (then) wife Christina until an accident that cost the lives of several soldiers forced him to quit. He is briefed by the projects commander (Star Trek Voyager's Robert Picardo) that the US is lagging behind China is tech development and the plan is to use the latch to travel into the future and steal technology to reverse engineer in the present to put America back on top.

Let me repeat that, use a "TIME MACHINE to beat China who are crushing us in the tech department."

This one plot point instantly took me out of the movie, if China is so superior to us Technology wise, wouldn't they have a Time Machine? That's it, you don't get anymore technologically advanced than a Time Machine. It's as if you're saying "Man the Chinese have Robot Dogs and all we have is this puppyin Time Machine, piece of shit!"

What follows is a plot that stumbles over itself. It doesn't know if it wants to be a Science Fiction drama or Cheesey Creature feature. Somehow these Morlocks are mutated humans and the ruined future is only 60 years from today (somehow they glance over the fact that there are Giant Carnivorous Birds only 60 years from today). There's a subplot that involves the Commander's son who has Cancer and he's trying to cure him somehow using the Morlocks advanced and highly resistant DNA.

The plot invokes the plot of the TV series "Primeval" with the Morlocks filling the role of the "Future Predators", they even sort of resemble them albeit crudely with CGI that looks to have been made by a highschool kid.

Bottom line avoid this movie at all costs, you're much better off reading the book, or watching the 2002 Time Machine film.

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Posted

It was made by The Asylum, wasn't it? I watched their movie version of The Princess of Mars, and it was at least closer to its source material than what you described, although not by much.

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Posted

That's what I thought but no, it was made by UFO Films.

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Posted

Reminds me of the syfy movie version of "The Sound of Thunder" which didn't remind me of the book in the least.

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A Sound of Thunder wasn't a Syfy Channel movie, it was an actual movie, I saw it in theaters.

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"Syfy channel original"

lol

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Thanks for adding this. It's good to have recommendations to watch AND avoid.

One of my biggest recent regrets movie-wise was The Green Hornet. The only redeeming factor was the cool car and maybe Cato, but there are other versions of the story that are probably way better.

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Posted

the only Syfy movie I have ever seen is Sharktopus

sharktopus2d.jpg

i like it just because that thing is incredibly silly

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Posted

ABC's Revenge

Emily Thorne is the newest addition to the exclusive seaside community of The Hamptons. At first she seems normal but beneath her very attractive party girl exterior is a woman driven by one thing revenge. In this adaptation of Alexandre Dumas' novel "The Count of Monte Cristo" Emily is in fact Amanda Clarke the daughter of John Clarke who was betrayed by his friends in the Hamptons and sent to prison. Seven years later as an 18 year old emily is released from a juvenile detention center she learns that her father died in prison but left her his majority stake in a booming tech company making her very wealthy. So using her new wealth she set out on a path of Revenge.

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Zookeeper

Kevin James stars as Griffian, a Zookeeper who five years earlier made an Ass of himself when he proposed to his girlfriend (she dumped him because he was a Zookeeper). In the present he loves his job and is friends with all the animals. But on the eve of his Brother's wedding his ex comes back into his life and he wants to get back with her. After blowing his chances and contimplating quitting his job Griffian learns that the Zoo animals can speak. The Animals help him get confidence and he reconnects with his Ex. However he hates the person he has become and returns to his job and confesses his love for a female coworker.

This movie had it's moments, the funny one liners from the Capuchin Monkey played by Adam Sandler and Kevin James's physical comedy. As for the plot it was very formulaic and I saw the end coming a mile away.

This movie was funny but ultimately forgettable, don't buy or rent this just wait for it to be on HBO or inevitability on TBS.

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