Typical Student Ranting.

[Cascade 741]

You may have seen me ranting about this stuff on skype/IRC lately, but I feel like making a thread with coherent thoughts about stuff will help me feel better overall about it.

So, you may know there's this one class I do - Psychology Research - and I really just don't enjoy it whatsoever. I don't really understand the material at all, even when catching up outside of class, I'm no good with numbers and graphs and experiments, the sort of stuff you do in this class. So naturally, what do I do? Skip a few classes. Great idea there Cascade.

I got an email from one of the heads of the Social Science department about a week ago, and it basically said "You have missed some classes in this module, due to this you may not enter for examination, and at worse, be kicked out of your course and lose your funding." So I have been stressing about this, on top of doing the work and study for all my classes. Thankfully I am staying in university, and I can sit the exam, but, it has been an awful week I have to admit.

I have this report to write for December that is on an experiment our class did... which I skipped. I mean, it's not too bad, the experiment results and execution are posted on the uni website and I went to the report help class today but, I'm still really not certain I'm going to pass this. You need to do this report to pass the module and I just, have no motivation. At all. Another problem with this class. It is the biggest workload for me and has the most credits - 30 compared to the 15 for my other classes - and I hate having to cut time on classes I actually ENJOY for this stupid class I really don't think is benefitting to my future. At all. Why can't I just get motivated. Even the threat of getting kicked out didn't seem to inspire me in some shape or form.

I spoke to my student tutor today about my problems with Psychology and how I wanted to drop the module. But, it's a compulsory class so I can't just drop it, and if I don't pass this module, I have to repeat first year again. Which really looks like what is going to happen to me at this stage.

He also mentioned that I should really leave BSc Sociology all together, which I really agree with, and do BA Media, Culture and Society instead - which is really just, sociology, but without all the science stuff. But unfortunately, it's too late to just change my course and I will have to finish Year 1 of BSc Sociology and then next year start at Year 1 of BA Media, Culture and Society. So both paths that I see in my future lead to five years of university overall.

This wouldn't be so bad if the thought didn't guilt-trip me everytime I think about it. Sure, my tuition fees are paid by the government each year. But the other stuff, my flat, my food, my textbooks, social life, etc. It's costing my parents so much money. £5000 a year for the flat, around £200-300 a month for other stuff. I feel like I'm a drain on them already and having to do four more years instead of three for my own selfish reasons is just abusing this responsiblity and great privilege they've given me. Plus, I feel they'll be disappointed that I picked the wrong course.

This just, could have been avoided if I had squidding looked at all the course available last year when applying, I stupidly went for BSc Sociology because, it has Sociology in the name! I was reading the stuff you do in BA Media, Culture and Society and it is just WAY MORE suited for me! It's like, Cascade in degree form. It's like this holy grail I'll don't deserve to have for my own stupidity.

Non-university related things aren't too good either, I honestly feel really distant from my friends here in Dundee now. Whenever I go home I can organise and meet up with my friends back in Stirling just fine! But here... it's like I've put up this wall between everyone and I can't remove it even if it's my wall. My flatmates are really lovely! I had a good Halloween night with them! But it was like, the first time I've really hung out with them for like a month and sometimes I still feel anxious talking to them. Like it is forever the first day I have met them. Same with my coursemates, we can talk in classes great! And do group work fine! But something keeps me from really connecting with them. I haven't seen my best friend Katrina for weeks now, one major reason I came here was to see her more often, but somehow I talk to her LESS often now than I did when I still lived in Stirling. I really only talk to people via Skype/Facebook and see them once a month, twice at the most. I really feel like a horrible friend

Minor thing, but my sleeping pattern has gone to shit too, I nap at the most horrible times, like usually 4pm-10pm, and haven't gotten a proper night of sleep in ages.

Last thing, my attitude about this forum. I've been really miserable lately on here as I can see in my old posts/convos and if I'm totally honest with myself, I feel like the only reason I come on anymore is because I feel obligated too. Like if I don't, you guys will be horribly upset at me and there's another relationship gone down the drain. I've been hiding this feeling for a while. I just, want to say sorry to all those who have felt the brunt of my snippiness. Again. Two public apologies in a month. I'm just, not the person I used to be on this forum anymore. Perhaps that user was right. My mask I've been putting up for nearly two years is shattering rapidly and I just don't have the energy to hide it anymore.

That's all. Sorry for the mega huge post, don't feel like you have to reply.

[Ammonsa 308]

I've already told you basically what I think on irc, but, just, I hope you can get through this rough patch soon. It will turn out better in the long run.

[Teto 2609]

BA Media seems like where you should be, yeah >: This isn't you being selfish though.

Stressed with uni and your various complaints about life as it is now, you have a right to be snippy really.

All I can really say about everything is ehhhhhh idk

I personally am fine and I suck because I'm actually too content >:

Visited home on the weekend "Must be a relief to be home right" "yeah it's great" even though I felt no difference from when I was in Dundee

I kind of feel as if I wouldn't feel much more than guilt if I never saw my parents ever again (which probably isn't true, but I only went to visit last weekend because I kind of felt like I owed my parents the trip to show them I'm okay lol and because it was my friend's birthday and also because people were kind of pressuring me to go (this kind of seems like it would be a normal kind of thing maybe though idk))

Practical classes are my only uni complaint but that's just because I suck at practical classes and I kind of stop thinking when people are explaining things and only take in their body movements so I know exactly how everything is done but not what the squid I'm doing and what I need to have lol

Good thing goddamn Microbiology labs are done. 3 hours with the horrid stench of agar and bunsen burners on with the windows closed with heavy lab coats for 3 hours. Sigh.

Like, in all of the previous practical classes before microscopy (easy class) I just panicked and was like I DON'T BELONG HERE I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH for the rest of the day

As far as social life is concerned, I guess recently I've cut myself off a lot more. Not bothering to extend out to anybody on Skype or IRC anymore because I can't be bothereddd. And avoiding my uni friends whenever I have a valid excuse. Sneaking around my flatmates. Since the one night I got drunk, I've not talked to the people I went out with that night more than like once or twice.

Still, no real grounds for complaints, here. Just stuff in general.

We still need to go clothes shopping one day btw.

[Chimetals 344]

the way you see your parents sounds like the way i see my parents--a lot harsher than they actually are. they dont want you to get a degree that will make you miserable for the rest of college and maybe the rest of your life, they want you to do a job that you love, and if youre looking at 5 years either way, then SWITCH MAJORS. if youre still worried about them, talk to your parents, my money says theyll respond a /lot/ better than you think they will. im on a four year tuition waiver, but when i told my parents about how shit my grades were this semester, my mom, the one with the highest expectations, responded with "well, if you need an extra semester, take an extra semester". turns out, /my/ expectations, reflected in my mental image of my mothers standards, were higher than what my mom /actually/ holds me accountable for, and it sounds like you might be the same way.

they label college majors really stupidly, when i was applying for college, i /swear/ my major was different in each form, because suddenly id find out that the major that i thought had what i wanted wasnt what i wanted at all.

cant they transfer some of your classes to your new major? :S i mean, there should be overlap /somewhere/ and hey, if you switch majors, youll never have to take that psychology class again. or even look at it.

im a social hikikomori, too leave my dorm room? why? you need an impulsive friend to drag you places, if anything. its the only reason i really go out, aside from class :< so i think most people seal themselves off when they hit college, theres just too much stuff going on.

dont worry about being "selfish", this is the rest of your life youre talking about here, in the long run, taking an extra year in college and being happy is much more important than trying to save your parents a few extra bucks. and if you still feel bad about it, apply for scholarships and get some cash to help em out, that way you really /cant/ feel bad.

[なべ 184]

Everyone's advice here is very good. If you're not being true to what you want to do and learn, then you're going to continue to not enjoy it. Discuss some of these things with your parents, whatever you're comfortable with, and talk about your feelings and what you think is fair for everyone involved.

You say that you don't want to come to the forum and that it's a chore -- so don't. If you want to keep up with the relationships you've made here, you could do it on Skype or IRC, on a person-to-person basis. Or just don't keep up with people if that's your choice, but regardless you don't owe people or the forum your presence here.

And of course, that's not to say you're not wanted. But if it's work to come here rather than fun, then that's more work than you need on your plate right now.

[Skippy 82]

Coming from someone who has changed their major a few times, do it the first chance you get, do it until you find what you are happy with.

Talk to your parents about everything. Is getting a part time job an option? I worked through all my schooling, it can be tough, but doable, and it'll help give you some personal spending money.

As for psychology, if you ever need help, pm me or skype me, I am always willing to help.

[2356 23]

the way you see your parents sounds like the way i see my parents--a lot harsher than they actually are.

Haaaaaa..............

But, yeah, you really shouldn't stay in a program that isn't what you want anyway. My advisor for ECE tells me that I can still switch to Computer Science and not be dying about it. It's funny since he was all "and if you need me to talk to your parents I can do that since I understand what it's like to have Asian parents 'cause, y'know, I also have Asian parents."

That was the highlight of my mentoring meeting. It was beautiful.

Also, I imposed a self ban on hnet. By about 7pm, Google Chrome will get on my case for trying to go on hnet. My nights feel more fulfilled.

[Arachne 25]

I know it's a different situation with you, since the government is paying at least partially for your tuition, whereas my parents and I I paid jointly for the university I did attend. However, I'll give you my two cents,

Like I told you last time we talked, try talking to an on-campus counselor; that's what they're there for. They can help you make the changes necessary, and the fact that you've visited one helps to show you're being serious about the decision.

Changing majors is not the end of the world, and there's a good chance you can transfer the course credits towards another major, even if they only count as elective credits. My sister did that when she switched from music to engineering, and in fact her music background proved an asset because she later specialised in audio engineering.

Personally I'd drop the course while there's still time to do so, but that's just me. I tried going for a degree to appease others, and that plan just blew up in my face because I couldn't find the motivation to follow through. I'm sure your parents would be fine with you switching majors and taking an extra year if it meant you'd be happy.

The social thing was always a problem for me. I tried joing a club or two, which helped somewhat, but ultimately the most relieving thing was knowing people outside of the campus environment I could talk to. Were I to go back, I'd probably take fewer courses and use the extra time to pick up a part-time job. That way I'd make some money on the side, have some real-life work to ground me and possibly have a few co-workers as acquaintances.

And as for the site. I personally absolve you of all obligation to come here on a regular basis. Anyone who tries to guilt you into coming here can go suck a squid.

[pheonix561 2080]

We'll talk over skype, bro

[pheonix561 2080]

Hey Arachne if you don't keep showing up to this site I'll blow up your boyfriend

[Chase 390]

Hey Arachne if you don't keep showing up to this site pheo is gonna blow your boyfriend.

[Teto 2609]

And as for the site. I personally absolve you of all obligation to come here on a regular basis. Anyone who tries to guilt you into coming here can go suck a squid.

Tell me Arachne, how exactly does one suck a squid?

[Chase 390]

Love that movie.

[Arachne 25]

I don't know, actually. Good question. I was trying to find a substitute for "go blow a goat".

Anyways, I'm wondering if I really should be giving advice on this, since I obviously failed at getting through Uni. At least I can tell people what NOT to do.

[Chimetals 344]

i thought that was just the censor kicking in, and you were saying "go suck a f--k"