1,000+ Things I will not do in Hyrule

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I would like to make a list of 1,000+ things that you would not do in Hyrule, make the list about things that you WOULD do. (Try to make them funny though). Yes I know, it doesn't make any sense the way I typed it.

Start each number like this:

#) I will not [fill in the blank].

I will start.

1) I will not bomb the Market in Hyrule Castle.

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Posted · Report post

2) i will not break every pot in a 3 mile radius.

3) i will not kill everything killable that i see.

4) i will not attempt to attack the snot-nosed kid just because he wont stop following me.

5) i will leave any dongongos i find where i find them, and will not bring them with me.

6) i will only use din's fire in dungeons, and not anywhere inhabited by people. especially not in a village with wooden homes.

7) same as #6, but for the fire rod.

8) i will not attempt to freeze over Hyrule with the ice rod, i dont care how hot it is.

this list reminds me of "100 things i would do if i were an evil overlord"

also, im kainda curious how violent hnet members are.

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Posted · Report post

9) I will not eat the chu jelly in an attempt to get high

10) I will not shoot Talo and Malo repeatedly in the head with a slingshot to amuse myself

11) I will not do #4 (see above) using the cannon on my ship. Same goes for the rest of the villagers.

12) I will not do the evil things that I would normally do when I play Skyward Sword.

I'll be back later. Probably.

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Posted · Report post

Oh yea. derp

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13) I will not leave any small children or family members unattended.

14) I will not attempt to use hosehold items (Glass bottles, fishing rods, butterfly nets) to defeat the king of evil.

15) I will not kill the sidekick, no matter how often they state the obvious.

16) I also will not try to bond with the sidekick, no matter how cool they are; as they will leave forever when the adventure's over.

17) I will not shoot arrows at anyone carrying explosives.

18) I will not go into dangerous locations with less than four people without telling anyone until something bad happens (See #13).

19) I will not, under any circumstances, attack the cuccoos.

20) I will not ruin the economy by bringing a sharp influx of rupees to spend on rudimentury items.

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21) I will not pull the master sword out. (WW)

22) I will not turn into a wolf and attack the guards for supplies.

23) I will not try to set the bomb dude's shop on fire.

24) I will not refuse to help Colin get past the kids.

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25) I will not attempt the take a mans hat of by fishing.

26) I will not talk to that weird bald-headed chicken thing ever again.Ooccoo_Large.png

27) I will not steal lamp oil from that goddamn bird in the woods.

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28) i will stop cutting all the grass to find the rupees that were painstakingly hid there by the poor local villagers.

29) i will not break the pots in the villagers houses to take their life savings.

30) i will not ask shadow link where he got the giant bomb (4swords)

31) i will not attempt to buy said bomb, no matter how cool.

32) i will actually do the puzzles in the dungeon, rather than blow up the dungeon with the giant bomb i didnt buy.

33) i will not telepathically control seagulls just to fly them to their deaths.

34) if i find a cow in an underground cave, i will not question how it got there, who keeps their cow there, or why its been there so long it no longer remembers green fields. i will simply take its milk and leave.

35) i will not question how i am able to speak cow.

36) i will not try to kill the guards, no matter how many times theyve caught me.

37) if a monkey is being boiled alive, i will save it, not wonder how it tastes.

38) i will not boil a monkey to find out #37.

39) i will not hookshot a redead.

14) I will not attempt to use household items (Glass bottles, fishing rods, butterfly nets) to defeat the king of evil.

i couldnt stop laughing.

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Posted · Report post

40) I will not try to take Epona into the Market and shoot her in the rear with an arrow and watch her run around while she destroys the Market's shops.

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41) when following a ghost in his grave, i will not wonder where the body is.

42) i will not wonder why people have themselves buried in mini dungeons, nor why they expect/want people to dig up their grave.

43) when i find out that the great villain comes from a race where he is the only male, i will not ask him why he left.

44) i will not put on one iron boot and one hoverboot for the giggles.

45) i will not wear my iron boots in the market just so everyone can hear me coming.

46) i will not wonder why wearing my iron boots causes me to sink, but holding them doesnt.

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47) I will not use the Master Sword to cut down all of Hyrule's trees.

48) I will not bomb Lon Lon Ranch.

49) I will not try to find a plug at the bottom of Lake Hyrule and pull it.

50) I will not let all the horses run loose at Lon Lon Ranch.

51) I will not let all the cows run loose at Lon Lon Ranch.

52) I will not try to knock down the tall ladder platform in Kakariko Village.

53) I will not try to knock down the giant windmill in Kakariko Vilage.

54) I will not dig up people's graves in the Graveyard.

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55) I will not break the chandelier. Wait... Too late. :(

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56) i will not wonder how Malon knew where i lived, when she sends me a prize.

57) i will not wonder how a non-kokiri got a cow in my house, and i will especially not wonder how they got it up the ladder.

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58) I will not ask Malon out and then ask Princess Zelda out and not show up.

59) I will not make Princess Zelda and Malon fight to the death for me, when I get yelled at by them for not showing up for our date.

60) I will not hit Navi with a stick.

61) I will not hit Epona with a stick.

62) I will not declare war on Hyrule Castle.

63) I will not flood Hyrule Castle.

64) I will not let out the horses at Lon Lon Ranch and have them run to Hyrule Castle and cause them to destroy the Market.

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65) I will not participate in any forum talking about things I wouldn't do in Hyrule, except for the post explaining that I will not post in previously stated forum.

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