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Compelled

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Posted

"Seeking to forget makes exile all the longer; the secret of Redemption lies in rememberance"

Richard von Weizsaecker

Chapter One: It all catches up to you

The room was long, very long in fact. There was a large, very polished Aluminium table situated right in the middle. At one end a row of very comfortable looking office chairs. Directly opposite was a single metal chair, like those you would find at a bargain basement store bolted with six inch concrete screws into the cold floor.

Strapped nice and tight to said chair was at first glance a rather unsuspecting, unassuming 20-something slacker. As the very powerful knockout drugs he had ingested began to wear off a far door opened revealing several people, plain looking folks in matching tailored suits.

Men and women alike...

"Where am I?" the semi-conscious prisoner asked, his eyes squinting furiously against the light.

"You are nowhere Mr. Boyd, as long as you are here you don't exist. a Deeply disguised voice said

Kevin Boyd felt the straps holding his arms loosen "There's water in front of you if you're thirsty" another disguied voice said.

"Why am I here?" Kevin asked. letting his eyes adjust to the bright lights.

"We've been watching you for quite a while Mr. Boyd. The money you steal, the stuff people give you for free, the women you have sex with. Tell us please how you do it?"

It all began when I was 14. According to my Mother I was too young to be home alone and she needed to work late. I talked to her and she eventually agreed with me.

"That's it, are you sure you didn't just convince your mother?" A third disguised voice asked.

"At first I thought it was just that, my thoughtful argument had won her over.

"But it wasn't that at all was it?"

"No, a fact I learned a few days later."

I was hanging out in Dover Park with my best friend Monty, we were daring eachother to eat stuff out of the garbage when we saw them.

"Saw who?" shadowy woman two asked

"Twelfth Graders, very hot senior girls. Chief among them Lily Kalbasis, she had the deepest blue eyes. Her hair burned bright Red, her skin was soft like a porcelain doll. I walked over to Lilly and said...

To Be Continued

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Posted

It all began when I was 14. According to my Mother I was too young to be home alone and she needed to work late. I talked to her and she eventually agreed with me.

She agreed with him on what? .-. What does her working late have to do with talking to her?

"That's it, are you sure you didn't just convince your mother?" A third disguised voice asked.

Convince her of what? .-. is convincing her any different from talking to her until she agrees?

questions

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Posted

Please.

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Posted

I was falling asleep as I was writing this typos are to be expected.

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Posted

Why were you so compelled to post this before checking for typos? You shouldn't start out sloppy on your first chapter as it makes people less compelled to read it. You know compelled sounds really wrong right now. Compelled, compelled, compelled...ugh it's all wrong and terrible and sounds foreign or something.

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Posted

I don't think what we've pointed out have been typos. I think you should clue the reader in as to what's going on, because writing fiction is ultimately about the reader. If they know at least a little about the scheme of things, they won't be so left in the dark and will be more compelled to read on.

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