I feel I owe an explination...

[Grandmaster Phoenix 26]

I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone here. I really, truly am. I've begun to realize that I have some issues, and have gone into counseling to correct them.

My parents raised me in a way that involved total protection and relative isolation. I was, quite literally, raised to be anti-social by my parents, while my younger brother was raised to be a social butterfly.

When I was in elementary school, I had few friends because of this. Bullying was a frequent problem. My parents would only let me see my friends for no more than 2 hours at a time, and then only on Saturdays. When I was in 4th grade, the school social worker suggested to my parents that I could possibly has Aspberger's Disease, and I was taken to one of the top neurologists in the country, who immediately stated that I, in fact, did not have Aspberger's, and sharply critisized my parents for raising me to be anti-social.

In that other time I had left, they would take me to see their friends, or in the summer, when they were both working and I was off school, I would be sent to my grandparents instead of being allowed to spend time with friends. How I was raised completely devastated my social development.

In middle school, bullying became one of my biggest problems. When I joined this site, I was borderline suicidal due to my constant bullying problems. My parents told me to put up with it or go talk to the principal or some other uninterested staff member. I was frequently teased about being gay(which I am not), stupid, awkward, etc. Most of it stopped, but the resulting "gay" stigma stuck. People I know, even my friends now, wholly and completely beleive that I am gay, and this has made any hope of a romantic relationship with a woman only a distant hope.

I am frequently mocked by those I know from school or work, and even by my family, for my inability to form relationships with people. My mother recently told me that she regretted how she raised me, and told me about these things, and how they were all done with only the best of intentions.

I also feel that I owe you an apology, for treating all of you like dirt for the past several years.

[Teto 2609]

You have always been a bit antagonistic, but for the record I've never really disliked you all that much. Maybe sometimes in the moment after I read something you've posted, but I've seen good in you enough to convince me not to dislike you. I'm sorry for any time that I've not treated you so great in return. The length of time we've known each other pretty much ensures that I've been foul to you in the past.

I'm sure you'll always be welcome here though. I'm really glad you've stuck around through everything that's come between you and other members, including myself.

I hope counselling goes well and that life starts looking up for you from now. I'm glad your parents saw the error of their ways eventually, but as you said it was with the best intentions that they raised you this way, so I wont think too harshly of them.

[Princess Valhalla Hawkwind 39]

This is cool, the getting help part. It honestly makes a lot of sense now too. Especially the hostility towards homosexuals.

No worries. I hated you at first but after a while I found you more interesting, and not in a bad way.

But yeah cheers to you and such! :>

[pheonix561 2080]

I don't think I ever disliked you so much as I did enjoy laughing at your arguments. I think you're probably an alright guy irl, goofy arguments not withstanding.

[Sahaqiel 1232]

Yeah. I didn't really buy into the Nazi stuff. That was mostly just teasing. So I apologize for any contributions I had to that. And as a person who was/is against homosexual marriage, you're actually really cool towards them. A lot of people hated Vivi's personality in general, but when she came out to her mom, you were, in a sense, supportive of her and didn't bring any debate into the thread. You never explicitly named members when you debated against them in terms of sexual orientation. So you've always had a kind of respect from me, and I hope you know that.

I don't think you really hurt anyone/very many people. Your comments were kind of rash sometimes, though, like with the "bomb North Korea into nuclear glass" thing. I think that was probably the worst thing I remember you saying. Other than that, I wouldn't have expected you to be alright with illegal immigrants and stuff like that.

So yeah, I'm glad you let us know how you're feeling.

Sahaqiel

[Sahaqiel 1232]

Oh, and when you found out Skyward Sword was going to be cel-shaded through that hoax we pulled. That post was pretty uncalled for.

[Grandmaster Phoenix 26]

Thanks for being so (I don't really know what word to use here, so I'll just leave this here: )

[Chimetals 344]

i had noticed a bit of a difference in your posts and such when you popped back in every now and then. tbh, my virtual ears kainda perked up whenever i saw you had made a post or topic, kainda a mini "he hasnt left yay"-type of thing, as silly as it sounds. And now a lot more stuff makes a lot more sense....context is magic.

i dont have any ill will towards you, never really did, although i really overreacted in other threads, so im sorry about that :/ i kainda went off the deep end a couple times. but glad to see you back, still around, etc.

I'm sure you'll always be welcome here though. I'm really glad you've stuck around through everything that's come between you and other members, including myself.

^^^^

[Arachne 25]

Gosh, I should check this topic more often.

I'm not surprised a lot of your previous posts were fueled by your own pain and insecurities, but I'm glad you are now strong enough to aknowledge them and are getting help. It's tough to have personal problems made worse by an inability to express them effectively with others.

Thank you for posting this.

[Ezlo 5]

I'm new to the forum, but it seems you have a lot of notoriety. Either way bro, I wont judge you.

Seems like everyone here has something they have dealt with about life. Something we all have in common.

I know how it feels going through depression and attention-deprivation man (before someone shouts attention-whore, no, I don't get much attention, if at all. certainly no compliments or praise, that's for sure). That stuff scars. Pretty deep; mentally and emotionally (mostly emotionally though). Luckily, caring about getting no attention is just a stage in growing up. After a while, usually when you reach 9th or 10th grade, all that passes away (of course, results vary). Ironically, just after that, that when you start to get attention (so I've heard after doing much research).

I'm a social-deprivate, just like you.

Sorry to hear of your trials, man, and everyone else's.