[Help!] ___ (´･ω･`)

[Teto 2609]

Logs from message board 2ch, where an unnamed Japanese guy seeks help with his love life.

Posted in serious discussion because stalking is a serious subject. Seriously. Maybe.

My summary:

The girl he likes, named as "Denko" in the thread, refuses to reply to the 600 emails he sent, and so he takes to the internet in search of guidance. Along the way he convinces himself she is his girlfriend and takes more direct approaches at getting her attention including waiting for her in cafés, going to her house, hiding behind her house, pretending to be an old friend with a fake email address, and catching her at the park using information bought from one of her friends.

The board's attempts at convincing him he's a stalker fall flat, and he persists as some posters advise him to do so.

Not too sure myself whether or not it's real, but it certainly does a good job of keeping you wondering about that, what with how believable a lot of it is. You can imagine that with the right train of thought, someone might come to these conclusions and make all these stalkery choices, and in the midst of it all, feeling so justified, not realise that he is being a stalker. But it's hard to believe someone really is this dense.

Most likely a troll though to be honest.

Each log is quite a long read. All that Homestuck is finally coming in handy.

[Help!] The Girl I Like Won't Respond to My Emails (´･ω･`)

[Help!] I Can't Contact My Girlfriend (´･ω･`)

[Help!] The Girl I'm Dating Isn't My Girlfriend Anymore (´･ω･`)

[Help!] My Girlfriend Is Testing Me (´･ω･`)

[Help!] I’m Not Sure Who I Like Anymore (´･ω･`)

[Fierce Muffin 490]

So, I read the first one and just like. This guy. He's either a troll or doesn't know what a girl even is. His responses are just hilarious. When he goes over to her house to wait for her with her mom, ohhhhhhh man. lol

[pheonix561 2080]

#OP

First, I paid Denko’s friend 20,000 yen to make sure my plan went smoothly.

I asked her to request Denko to go buy alcohol.

And then finally, finally I saw Denko again! (´･ω･`)

I didn’t want to suddenly call her, so to display my passion as her boyfriend, I snuck up from behind and hugged her… (´･ω･`)

#OP

Denko’s body felt so warm… (´･ω･`)

It might have just been the best moment of my life. I don’t think I’m going to wash these clothes, so I don’t forget.

Denko was surprised too, and let out a really loud shriek and ran, but I wasn’t going to have that again!

I grabbed her arm so she couldn’t run. Because I wanted to hear her true feelings… (´･ω･`)

#2ch

I’ve seen scenes like this in horror films about serial killers…

#OP

Denko was really hollering, so her friends got worried.

And she said she was going home for the day. And they all told me not to come near Denko again… (´･ω･`)

I HOPE SHE REPLIES SOON (´･ω･`)

When i saw the topic title I thought this was a thread LL made, and now I can't get the idea that this is about LL and his girlfriend

[DR SHRUBBERY! 1095]

this sounds like a murder-mystery novel just waiting to happen

[Cascade 741]

Read through all these earlier today, even if this was a mega-troll, I was still legit creeped out for the entirety of it. Brrrrrr stalking is horrible to read about! And this did sound kind of.... like an actual realistic scenario which is even worse ): Although I won't deny I wasn't laughing when he got into the "master/slave" relationship with A-ko, that was p. hilarious. What a pro lady.

Now I'll never look at LL's username the same way again lol. ):

Also lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=cjjiE4xP_v8, the beloved classic "I'm Your Stalker", enjoy y'all