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Another one of these

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[03:07:56] <Kaffles> I'm feeling a little better now

[03:07:58] <Sahaqiel> mm

[03:07:59] <Kaffles> made some progress

[03:08:09] <Sahaqiel> Good!

[03:08:15] <Sahaqiel> I'm just

[03:08:22] <Sahaqiel> I just feel like crap. :(

[03:08:26] <Kaffles> :<

[03:08:31] <Kaffles> I love you

[03:08:35] <Sahaqiel> I love you too

[03:08:36] <Kaffles> why do you feel so bad?

[03:08:48] <Sahaqiel> Social inadequacy problems

[03:08:52] <Sahaqiel> like earlier

[03:08:53] <Kaffles> :<

[03:09:10] <Sahaqiel> I just feel like I don't matter at all anymore to the people who matter a lot to me

[03:09:18] <Sahaqiel> Except for you

[03:09:33] <Sahaqiel> But essentially, I have pillars

[03:09:54] <Sahaqiel> Romance, friendship, goals, myself, people

[03:10:34] <Sahaqiel> And when there's a chip in any of them I tend to get really upset

[03:10:44] <Sahaqiel> Myself being redundant

[03:10:54] <Kaffles> mm

[03:11:17] <Sahaqiel> I've

[03:11:23] <Sahaqiel> I think I've actually been frowning

[03:11:35] <Sahaqiel> I haven't checked yet but it feels like it

[03:11:56] <Sahaqiel> Ben tried to ask me about it but didn't ask enough for me to want to tell him about it

[03:12:41] <Sahaqiel> I just don't feel good enough for my friends.

[03:14:01] <Kaffles> :<

[03:14:52] <Sahaqiel> So I acted like I felt

[03:15:08] <Sahaqiel> And pretty much just sat there frowning

[03:15:15] <Sahaqiel> not changing facial expression whatsoever

[03:15:23] <Sahaqiel> responding to Ben with grunts more than words

[03:15:42] <Sahaqiel> not making eye contact

[03:15:58] <Sahaqiel> staring at the ceiling during any time I'm required to wait

[03:17:39] <Sahaqiel> I think even you are much more than I deserve

[03:18:13] <Sahaqiel> and that makes me sad too

[03:19:02] <Kaffles> :<<<

[03:19:16] <Kaffles> you need to stop being so sad!

[03:19:46] <Kaffles> you don't have to have a bunch of super accomplishments to be a good friend, you just have to know how to have fun and be there for them

[03:20:10] <Sahaqiel> But my fun is no longer perceived as fun to them

[03:20:21] <Kaffles> like what?

[03:20:36] <Sahaqiel> I'm afraid to make jokes or be lighthearted

[03:20:47] <Sahaqiel> because they'll be interpreted as trying too hard

[03:20:51] <Sahaqiel> or being compared to someone else

[03:20:56] <Kaffles> :<

[03:21:15] <Kaffles> just be yourself and don't worry about that stuff

[03:21:20] <Sahaqiel> I used to do that

[03:21:46] <Sahaqiel> until being myself wasn't anything special anymore

[03:22:37] <Kaffles> you're always special to me :<

[03:22:45] <Sahaqiel> mm

[03:22:49] <Sahaqiel> Which is why I can be myself with you

[03:22:55] <Sahaqiel> Kind of

[03:23:19] <Sahaqiel> Even with you I feel like I'm not good enough in some regards

[03:24:51] <Sahaqiel> Like sometimes I can't calm you down

[03:25:08] <Sahaqiel> or sometimes I worry that I can't make you laugh

[03:25:18] <Sahaqiel> or that you don't find me intelligent or clever

[03:27:22] <Kaffles> :<

[03:29:08] <Sahaqiel> It's like

[03:29:25] <Sahaqiel> there are people that are perceived as better than me in this regard

[03:29:33] <Sahaqiel> so why should I try to top them

[03:29:38] <Sahaqiel> I'll only be compared to them

[03:30:35] <Sahaqiel> I'm me, not them

[03:31:06] <Sahaqiel> I'm just a mess

[03:31:10] <Kaffles> :<<<

[03:31:15] <Kaffles> I don't know what to say to help

[03:31:20] <Kaffles> I love you so much

[03:31:27] <Sahaqiel> I love you too

[03:31:40] <Kaffles> I wish I could snuggle the sad out of you!

[03:31:48] <Sahaqiel> mm

[03:31:53] <Sahaqiel> I would like that

[03:32:06] <Sahaqiel> but

[03:32:14] <Sahaqiel> I wouldn't want you to kiss frowning lips

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Posted

I've always found you funny, you post funny things. Nowadays one of our greatest problems here on the site that we'll answer with sarcasm and irony in reply to pretty much anything people have to say. Maybe it's always been that way, but I did notice it recently, when Cascade said she was going to France and people immediately started posting false hate replies, pretending to be offended. Ironic because obviously she doesn't mean any harm, but it's funny to pretend that she did!! For the banter and all that. But we keep doing it, and sometimes we forget to say anything nice at all, and keep using all the content to make joke replies. Which eventually brings down the whole thread or conversation. I guess? Maybe? I remember at one time we would all be really happy about things and cheerful and whatnot. I can vaguely remember when I would use smileys and exclamation points in honest posts, rather than cold ironic jokes, mocking people who are enthusiastic about things.

I feel like I am probably one of the most unenthusiastic people here >: I can relate to wishing people would try more when trying to figure out what's wrong though. Usually for me when I stop bothering people about what's wrong it's because I realise that I don't know them all that well and it's really none of my business. Otherwise I'll nag them about it for a while. Maybe not in a good way though, I just try and make them talk about it (though honestly not so much because I think it's a good idea that they talk about it, but more because I'm nosey and I want to understand their problem for the sake of being able to understand. I like understanding things. So I guess I'm good at helping people, but not in a completely unselfish way. I still like it when people are happy of course. Not that that has much relevance here in this thread.)

And like. You're only 19 so I don't think you should worry a whole lot about being unoriginal. You're still plenty original to me a lot of the time. So just keep doing what you're doing. Don't try to be too much all at once.

I'm pretty sure The Tatami Galaxy would have gone over this somewhere, so for starters you aren't listening to The Tatami Galaxy's holy teachings enough, Sahasmell. That is your main fault.

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Shaq, I don't understand how you can be like this ever. Your life always sounds like so much fun, hanging out with friends, making one of your crazy inventions, going to cons all over, having your Zelda subPupperled/superPupperled be praised by everyone, but most of all, you always seem to put friends above all else.

Most people don't show it, like me sometimes, but I'm sure everyone really appreciates what you do for them. Whether it be having a person listen to a song you think they might like (Yes, I in fact do not actually hate your music) or trying to help them through something they couldn't handle alone.

Just realize you do a lot of things better than anyone else. You don't have to be the best at everything. And I'm not going to judge you if you say a joke that's less funny than someone else's. I already regard you as a really awesome person, so doing anything is usually funny or cool.

The only problem I have with you right now is that you just "WASUP MUFN" and not do anything else. As in, you don't even want to talk with me. That's my only problem.

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It's natural to feel this way, sometimes. You aren't alone in this. I know it's difficult to just "be yourself" but you are a lot more unique than you give yourself credit for. Don't try to fit in or stand out. Recently I've stopped hanging out with some of my friends. Not because I don't like them anymore, but because I'm not having any fun with them. At first I was blaming myself and feeling down, because I thought something was wrong with me. I tried to fit in with them and be a different person and that just led to more unhappiness. One day I took a step back, said "that's not me" and now I only see them every once in a while. I've found some other friends that I can spend time with and be myself. And I'm a lot happier because of it.

Also, it's not weird to tell your friends you feel left out or under appreciated. If they really do care, they'll acknowledge what you tell them and try to work toward making you feel more appreciated.

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Hey Saha, wanna hang out for like a few days in August? I mean not a few days straight. I mean, let's not rule anything out. BUt y eah

I'd be more than fine with that.

I've always found you funny, you post funny things. Nowadays one of our greatest problems here on the site that we'll answer with sarcasm and irony in reply to pretty much anything people have to say. [...]I can vaguely remember when I would use smileys and exclamation points in honest posts, rather than cold ironic jokes, mocking people who are enthusiastic about things.

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I also played that part for awhile, but I'm getting tired of it fast.

And like. You're only 19 so I don't think you should worry a whole lot about being unoriginal. You're still plenty original to me a lot of the time. So just keep doing what you're doing. Don't try to be too much all at once.

I worded it differently than I felt really. It feels like anything I do really isn't effective anymore in terms of being lighthearted or even serious with my friends. Unless it's a certain brand of humor then what I'm doing is irrelevant, from messing around in video games to making any vaguely clever comment or insightful observation. It'll be unappreciated because it's me doing it. That's how it feels.

I'm pretty sure The Tatami Galaxy would have gone over this somewhere, so for starters you aren't listening to The Tatami Galaxy's holy teachings enough, Sahasmell. That is your main fault.

At least Ozu was encouraging all the time, even if he didn't act like it. Then there's another issue. I talk to people I haven't seen in awhile and they just kind of blow me off and talk to someone else. It really sucks. I feel completely unable to talk to people as casually and as lighthearted as I have in the past. Yet they would prefer the company of people other than me they hardly know and haven't talked to in around the same amount of time, despite knowing I want to spend time. It's pretty defeating.

I've always lived thinking that you can't go and give yourself labels. You can't just tell people you're good at something. You have to prove it, and eventually, people will tell you how good of a job you are doing. I crave encouragement. If I don't have it, then I just feel horribly alone and useless, and sometimes I stoop to fishing for compliments. I become a much worse person when I can't find confidence in myself.

It's natural to feel this way, sometimes. You aren't alone in this. I know it's difficult to just "be yourself" but you are a lot more unique than you give yourself credit for. Don't try to fit in or stand out.

The problem is that I am myself and it isn't good enough anymore. So much so that I sometimes start to not act like myself just to see if it'll be any better. And it isn't. And these are important people in my life I am brooding over. People that I really want to stay close friends with or become better friends with. It doesn't help that I am starting to get inadequacy issues because my personality is not preferred over others, apparently. I get hurt now by even small sadistic jokes, because I haven't seen legitimate encouragement or support [that I didn't have to make a thread or start drama about to obtain] in so long I guess I just don't deserve it anymore. If I deserved it in the first place.

Also, it's not weird to tell your friends you feel left out or under appreciated. If they really do care, they'll acknowledge what you tell them and try to work toward making you feel more appreciated

My threads are all not-so-subtle cries for help. But it always feels cheap in the end. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth that I come here and then ask everyone why they don't pay attention to me anymore, and then I get jealous of people talking in threads. Then I feel awkward and out of place whenever I make a comment, because I'm just that guy who talks sometimes now. No one ever responds to what I say. I guess it's because I don't have a detached and ironic sense of humor about everything, or because I don't use Skype or something. I even tried to go back to Skype as a last ditch effort to stop pitying myself. It used to feel like I was influential enough that if I left Skype, people might follow. But it seems I was just that guy who left Skype and no one ever tried to talk to him again. I said a sentence or two and bailed. Not in Hyrule.net's chat, mind, but it was still pretty painful that I couldn't talk with the same upbeat attitude as everyone else.

A bad mood is poisonous to me, honestly. For the past few days I've been in the presence of friends that I halfheartedly socialize with, then as soon as I'm out of their range I've gone right back to being the pessimistic Sahaqiel who feels anger and sadness when he talks to anyone he hasn't seen in a week or more. Kaffles has been feeling like my only morale support recently, and as much as I love her I wouldn't want it to stay that way. By the way, the Link's Awakening guide is almost halfway done. I was once told that I have to make tough decisions to progress in certain ways, and one of the possible choices was cutting off social contact with people, or greatly decreasing it. Sometimes it feels like I wouldn't really be missed, and do not take that as a threat to leave because I am not that petty, even when I am like this, but I would probably make a clean transition of just falling off the face of social networks, events, and gatherings. It doesn't feel like many people would outstretch a hand to me anymore. I'm no longer important enough to listen to or talk to. That's how it feels. Well, other than LL. That's pretty much the first thing he did. So thanks.

<Sahaqiel> I used to marvel at how my network of friends formed a tree

<Sahaqiel> and how the leaves would intersect

<Sahaqiel> friends would befriend others and interact without me knowing even

<Ammonsa> Does it make you feel jealous now?

<Sahaqiel> It made me jealous when I discovered it.

<Sahaqiel> But I still thought it was cool in a way.

<Sahaqiel> I felt like the root of something great

<Sahaqiel> But now I feel like a potted plant separate from the tree.

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