Romney blames defenceless, oil-rich state of Scotland for Hurricane Sandy outrage

[Teto 2609]

US presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has dismissed claims that Hurricane Sandy was ‘an act of God’, and pointed his finger instead at the ‘brogue nation’ of Scotland.

Backers of Romney, including tycoon Donald Trump, have urged him to invade the Golf State before they can strike again.

Oil-rich, nuclear weapon-shy and occupying the strategically significant ‘bloody freezing’ zone just above England, Scotland has been accused of being a ‘training ground’ for bad weather.

Trump himself has already led a peace mission to the region, generously knocking down useless old houses to make way for a much-needed millionaire’s playground.

But rather than thank their saviour some of the locals caused it to rain incessantly, an act now recognised by Romney as a declaration of war.

Romney on Sandy

Critics claim that the ‘complete lack of any evidence whatsoever’ linking Scotland to freak storm usage makes an invasion untenable.

Fortunately Romney has such a strong Mormon faith he is able to ignore such liberalised, rational arguments.

Romney’s defiance of Scotland has seen a late surge in his polling, and a sharp rise in share prices for Exxon and Halliburton.

The symbolic banned Haggis is changing hands in New York for thousands of dollars, so patriots can burn them, or use them as sandbags.

Cameron has so far refused to endorse Romney’s plans, although he did promise him a special relationship.

Meanwhile, Romney continues to campaign on the back of a growing distrust of the Scottish.

“We owe it to the people of Scotland to free them from their tyranny and oil, and provide them with a proper American Education”, roared Romney.

“Some of the men are so in touch with their feminine side, they’ll willingly wear skirts. That’s sickening evidence that they don’t even hate women.”

[via]

[Sahaqiel 1232]

omg romney hates scotland and wants to go to war with them for oil omg

reblogged via facebook twitter linkdin reddit

[Teto 2609]

it's 100% true

I have enlisted in the anti romney army

[Sahaqiel 1232]

teto i bought 300,000 AK-47 assault rifles where do you want me to ship them in scotland

why hasnt the us done anything about romneys declaration of war where is the media coverage

omg teto i think theyre trying to make us ignorant of the war so we can get all the oil

[Teto 2609]

you damn oil hungry people all you do is DESTROY

you have no valid reasons for any wars ever

I do not accept your charity you are the enemy

did you notice ROMENEMY has the word ENEMY in it

[Sahaqiel 1232]

ROMNEY is an anagram for R-MONEY

[pheonix561 2080]

r-money more like harmony lets all get along smoke a doobie420

[Otis McNutt 395]

Romney's a problem and he needs to be dealt with. Tomorrow I'm casting my Vote to deny this sycophantic 1%'er The White House.

[Chase 390]

Andrew Jackson wasn't

[Knuckle 484]

Yeah he was definitely elite by the time he ran for president.

guy owned like 100 slaves.

[Chase 390]

Everyone owned slaves back then.

[Chimetals 344]

as much as history class doesnt teach it, slaves were a thing back when the constitution was written.

[Knuckle 484]

ugh, you guys must not get it on account of being not southern, but owning a whole bunch of slaves made you top tier elite.

so it's not the fact that he owned slaves as much as he owned a lot of them.

[Chimetals 344]

yes, yes, weve taken history class.

though youre p dead on for a lot of us, coming from illinois and all.

[Aethix 129]

Romney's a problem and he needs to be dealt with. Tomorrow I'm casting my Vote to deny this sycophantic 1%'er The White House.

This gives me an idea for a new slogan:

"We are the 47 percent."