T1g's D&D Isle of Dread Campaign

[Necropolis 763]

EL KABONG!

[T1g 1503]

So, in a nutshell, saha should've died. Because he can't hit anyone with a guitar.

XD

Not exactly correct, for two reasons

1. There isn't a guarantee that the tiger would have hit with the attack
2. Saha wouldn't have died, he would have just been brought down to 0 hit points and been knocked unconscious. I haven't gone over the death rules with you guys, but you should probably read up on them. They should be in the How to Play pdf. You should really read them since 3 out of 4 of you can heal people

[ElwayGuy7 10]

To amend my statement, he should've been knocked out until one of us decided to heal him. So he could then try to hit people with his guitar.

[T1g 1503]

We just had a session without Elwayguy so we could take care of the lizardfolk encounter. It took 90 min so I am glad we did it now, so that the session on saturday gets more stuff done

[T1g 1503]

I feel like I should bring up that I roll 20's 40% of the time as DM right now

[ElwayGuy7 10]

LOLOLOLOLOL

[T1g 1503]

beginning to think we should have multiple shorter sessions instead of longer sessions

[emsomniac 239]

You guys totally missed the greatest dnd session/hotsprings episode I have ever been in. Going to let Saha write about it though.

[ElwayGuy7 10]

Were you high again?

[T1g 1503]

No she wasn't. It was the best ever. Since Sahaqiel is the star player of this session, I want him to write it because it should really be told from his perspective.

 

It was a Saha/Emso/Crit adventure. Knuckle and EG just pissed around in the Rakasta camp for a day or something

[ElwayGuy7 10]

I feel like that's good and bad at the same time.

[T1g 1503]

Ok you didn't "piss around" I actually have things you guys were doing at the time. The point of the campaign was to get medicine to save a sick child. Knuckle stayed behind to help with keeping the child stable, and EG just helped around the camp. Sahaqiel wasn't part of the team sent to get medicine, but wound up following them anyway

 

Also, here are the results for Sahaqiel's d20 rolls. This does not account for times where he was doing things with disadvantage (roll twice pick lower number), these are simply what numbers turned up each time he rolled a d20

 

17, 5, 4, 19, 2, 10, 4, 2, 2, 4, 6, 4, 6, 13, 9, 11, 2, 16, 6, 7, 12, 17, 16, 2, 1, 3, 2, 9, 3, 3, 17, 12, 18, 3, 1, 2, 15, 2
 

out of 38 dice rolls, 13 were in double digits, and eight of them were 2's

[emsomniac 239]

I feel like I stole his luck pretty badly there - I was rolling 20's all over the place when I didn't even need to

[Sahaqiel 1232]

My average roll was a 7, btw. I was so sad. ):

Alright, so I was at a friend's house, so I didn't think I would be joining the campaign, but I catch up just in time to Crit and Emma, because I overslept or something. In retrospect, I should have said I had toasted bread in my mouth. Anyway, so as we're walking, I misread my map thinking that we're heading towards a Goblin village and that Crit is betraying us, but we were much farther away than I thought, so it was a misunderstanding and we decided not to escape suddenly.

We happen upon some lemur-people being chased by a troll. DnD trolls are very big. They're pretty much Titans from AOT/SNK. We roll for intelligence, I think. Or wisdom. idk. Point is, I use my bardic knowledge to recall that trolls speak Giant. And I know Giant!!! Lia (Emso) recalls that the Lemurfolk are called Phanatons, and they speak Elvish. And she speaks Elvish!!! They also speak common but whatever, the coincidence was good. We start to formulate a plan to try and lure the troll away; the original plan was that Lia would lead the Phanatons to safety, and I would convince the troll there was better meat to be had elsewhere, while I use an illusion spell to distract him while we run. Lia calls the Lemurs over to safety, I shout a lemur-related racial slur to the Phanatons in Giant, which the troll laughs at. "Little man funny!" he says. I have an "oho" moment and I request to defect to the troll's side. I ask the troll if I can help him, and he accepts. After many confirmations that I am in fact serious, I ask the troll if I can stand on his shoulders during the fight. I roll badly on persuasion and he says it's too dangerous. After trying to confirm if trolls have decent slight-of-hand enough to carry me without murdering me, it turns out it's not worth it if I can't stand on his shoulders. I yell to the troll that I'm sorry, but I have to fight him now. The troll says it's okay-- he'll eat me too! He doesn't want me to feel left out.

None of my comrades can understand Giant, so none of them have any idea that I tried to defect.

Anyway, so the fight starts, we do proper fighting fanfare, Crit's being an unstoppable force of nature as always, etc. etc. She manages to cut both its arms off because she's insane. (First arm: "Need a hand? I roll to stress pun" the troll loses an intelligence roll and it goes over his head. Second arm: "He's been disarmed! roll to stress pun" I think I rolled a 9 here or something) We actually decided that it would be okay to go ahead and give Crit a +2 in Intimidation. She's earned it. After the second arm was off, a Phanaton was gawking at the sight, and I, being near him, say "I know, right? His [the troll's] butt is glorious".

The troll manages to kick one of its arms back into its socket, since it got a good roll and has crazy regen abilities. We also found out that it's got an ability that lets its limbs move on their own, but the other arm fell into rough terrain and couldn't escape. Eventually during the fight I line myself up for a sprinting-guitar-melee attack, and take a deep breath for the roll, and get... a 2. I miss the swing. I recover and greet him by pointing at him while winking and smirking. The troll does the same with his only arm. Meanwhile, Crit jumps onto the troll from the stump of a tree he knocked down, jumped onto his arm while he's pointing, and cuts his head off. I feel like I did something useful, but the troll isn't dead yet, just very displeased. It's around this point that I had to leave for about half an hour.

I come back after the battle's over and the lemur is thanking us, saying he doesn't know how he'll ever repay us. I joke in the chat under my breath, "sex", and the DM asks me if I said that out loud. I was caught off guard and was like, "Oh, no, I've got to commit to my actions". Crit is making an exasperated face. The lemur is offput a bit but then says "No thanks, I'm straight". We're there to get an herb anyway, so Lia explains the situation and we head to the lemur village.

Earlier that night, T1g told me that he swears he'll put in a hot springs episode into the campaign without me if I don't show up. I thought he was calling it off since I was here, but nop, there is an open-air hot springs episode in the Phanaton village. I'm like lol ok. Lia and Crit head into the bath, I say that I fully respect their wish for privacy and do not even jokingly attempt to go in with them. Instead I hide behind some big rocks outside the bath. The lemurs are somewhat of a reference to Snow Monkeys of Japan, that like to bathe in hot springs. Lia and Crit are naked. I ask if Lia is standing so that her breasts are visible. Emso says no, but I ask her to stand. "No no no, trust me, I got this". In retrospect it's hilarious that that phrasing got us into the following situation.

Lia stands in the bath, and I cast illusion magic to make steam conveniently conceal her nudity. "This IS an anime hot springs episode. Making this steam is SOMEBODY'S job." Lia, unfortunately, is really suspicious about this, and turns into an owl to survey her surroundings. I start to panic because Crit is also walking towards the corner I'm hiding in, so I need a gameplan to get out undetected. I start by casting illusion magic to superimpose ground above me that might conceal me from Lia. I think I rolled a 7, and Lia rolled much higher-- like a 15 or something. She sees through it. I start to panic more, and search through my inventory. I have two ink bottles. I roll to throw an ink bottle at Emso. I think I rolled a 13. It hits her in the face, blinding her, and knocks her out of the air at 30 feet. She hits the ground and takes a fair amount of damage--, like, most of her health I think. It was the most damage I did the whole campaign, on an ally no less. We all roll for initiative because I just enacted combat.

Crit goes over to help Lia out of the water and to help wash out her eyes. I have to think quick because I have maybe two turns before I am definitely going to be detected and I don't think I can run away fast enough without causing a major distraction. I decide to cast an illusion that makes a deafening explosion thunder behind them-- it's only a sound though. They turn around to see what happened, including three of the lemurs. My original plan was to literally jump on top of one of the lemurs, holding it underwater, and casting an illusion spell to take its place while I try to formulate my next move, and hopefully get the lemur out before it drowns. Turns out I can't make an illusion that's a foot shorter than I am, so that plan goes bad. I instead opt to jump behind all the lemurs so I'm not in their line of sight, and cast Thunderwave, in the hopes that it'll knock everyone face-first into the water while they're looking away from me, giving me extra time to escape.

I'm like right next to the lemurs, and I roll high enough (surprisingly) to not only do anything at all to them, but knock all of them unconscious and fling them 10 feet away. Crit--~~OF COURSE~~-- is a badass and doesn't fall over in the explosion. Lia's eyes are washed out and she likewise did not fall to the Thunderwave. They both spot me simultaneously. Crit comes over and punches me, because she doesn't have her claws on her. Everyone's naked but by this point none of that matters. She crits. Sasuga Crit-chan. I cast Thunderwave again because Crit's the only one in range. I roll a 5. She barely flinches. I roll to make an unnervingly crazed face, and roll a 3. Such is my life. She darts behind me and punches me, and crits AGAIN. I go down, unconscious. DM asks me to roll three death saving throws just to see if I would have survived would Crit have wanted to kill me. I roll a 3, 9, and 2. I failed all of them. She could have punched me to death with just two hits.

 

Lia had turned into a fish to spot the lemurs possibly drowning underwater, and she hoisted them out with Crit's help and resuscitated/healed them. Lia and Crit have no idea why I suddenly attacked them, and they reasoned that there couldn't put me on trial because Lia is the only one who both saw what happened and could speak. At least my strategy got something right... Emso mentioned that from their perspective, there was a deafening explosion sound somewhere off in the distance, then suddenly they wake up coughing up water. Which is kind of hilarious. The Phanatons ask her what happened, and since Lia has no idea what my motives were, shrugs and says she doesn't know. Lia entangles me, and Crit drags me by the ankle through the town in her exasperation.

She puts me on a floor of our inn room or something, and wait for me to wake up. Lia sleeps, Crit sleeps. I ask the DM if there's a day-month-year system in DnD, and he said it probably varies and we weren't sure. I ask him what phase the moon is in because that's what we base calendar months on anyway. It was a full moon. Sasuga hot springs episode. I wake up four hours later and go back to sleep. I wake up some time later and I failed a constitution roll and got a cold from sleeping on the floor. It was a purely aesthetic illness, but it was an added insult to injury. Pretty sure I rolled a 2.

So Lia and Crit interrogate me. I told them that every third full moon, I become a lawful good, and where I come from, public nudity is shamed severely, to the point at which I would fight to the death in order to prevent it, and that it is part of the reason I am trying to find out the mystery behind my uncle RB's death, because he held the key to that mystery... this is why I rolled to make a crazed face btw. Anyway, Crit went from not caring to pissed off, because she knew the RB thing in specific was BS and she slams me on the ground. I then concede and say I just wanted to eavesdrop on everyone and I was trying to conceal Lia's nudity for my own sake and I panicked when they approached me because I knew Crit would probably stomp me. Everyone accepts my reasoning, as anyone would, but Crit is a little pissed off still.

Anyway, the lemurfolk hold a celebration for us saving them, and Lia rolls for nature or something to find out stuff about the Phanatons. Turns out they're good woodcarvers. She asks them to pretty up her magical staff. I ask the woodcarver to make me an instrument with the most bizarre sound possible. He's confused and unsure if he can do it. I roll persuasion and finally get a decent roll; a 19. I inspire the fire in his heart, and he produces an instrument with a very bizarre, unnerving sound. I can't gain proficiency in this weapon, unfortunately, but by goodness I will play this instrument. I decided to call them the Bagpipes. Crit rubs the bridge of her nose in exasperation.

Lia leaves us as a bird to deliver the herbs to Jarako's son more quickly, to which I react with playing the bagpipes somberly. I then try to convince Crit I'm not such a bad guy, which leads into awkward conversation and then silence. It probably ended with a Pokemon-style walk off into the sunset on a trail in the middle of the forest and next-time-on-DND announcer roll. The episode contained a fanservice scene, betrayal, wacky misunderstandings, near-lethal violence, and yet it still managed to be totally inconsequential to the plot, giving us a couple trinkets and good memories, with no hard feelings... truly, it is hard to be MC.

[T1g 1503]

I don't think you really stressed how badly you hurt the lemurs. You almost killed them all on accident lol. If Lia didn't have all her healing spells ready to use, you probably wouldn't have been able to shrug off the lemur's question of "what the puppy happened" that easily