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Crazy Friend Quotes.

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Posted

Post the crazy, random and stupid things your friends/family/teachers have said. These are mine.

Maria: I got put in the stupid math class, and Danna got intermediate algebra, and I had the higher grade last year!

Me: Wow...

Maria: Freakin' Ms. Kelly...

Danna: It's because Ms. Kelly loves me.

Maria: Psh, whatever...

Maria: How many of these [Vogue and CosmoGirl] magazines do you have!??!

Danna: -disgusted look- Psh, I don't know, I can't count...

Maria and I: -hysterical laughter-

Me: Danna can't count and she's the one with the more advanced math class this year...

Maria: AAAGGGHHHHH!!!!

Danna: -cleans up Whoonu- This is like, Kevin's favorite game.

Me: -reads the Whoonu box- Whoo...nu.

Maria: Thanks for saying it. I was afraid to, because I didn't know how to pronounce it.

Me: ...Hey. It's like a double-pun. Danna said, "This is, like, Kevin's favorite game." And I read the title, "Whoonu". Get it? Like, who knew!?

Maria: -Soft chuckle-

Danna: ...I don't get it.

Maria and Me: -laughter at Danna's expense and dumbfound staring-

Danna: -slaps Maria's arm- Don't look at me, I don't like being looked at!

Mr. Meyer: Antigone essayseseses are due Wednesday 10.09.

Maria: Or what?

Mr. Meyer: ...Or I'll pop a cap gangsta style

Gendron (AUGHUHUHHH!!!): Where's your binder?

Diego: In my backpack.

Gendron (AUGHUHUHHH!!!):: Where's your backpack?

Diego: Tijuana.

Mr. Meyer: How often does your priest tell you to have sex and do drugs?

Me: Every Sunday...

Mr. Meyer: What kind of church do you go to!?

Mr. Meyer: What is the idea behind platonic love?

Maria: That love isn't limited to just physical aspects.

Mr. Meyer: Exactly! Love doesn't need beauty or sex! You don't need to be attractive like me to find love!

Mr. Meyer: Plaw-toh philosophisized that everything in this world is not real. This isn't a chair. This isn't a stapler. This is only an imperfect shadow of an ideal stapler. True stapleness only exists in the mind. Right Danna?

Danna: I don't know.

Mr. Meyer: ...Right Rocher?

Rocher: I don't know.

Mr. Meyer: ...The next person that says "I don't know," I throw this imperfect shadow of a stapler at.

Karen: -whispers to me- What does that say on the board? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Me: -yells- I don't know!

Danna: -accidentally knocks pencil off her desk and it lands at her feet- Maria!

Maria (across the room): What?

Danna: Pick up my pencil.

Chanel: -cell phone goes off-

Mrs. Larkin: Give me the phone.

Chanel: Dammit... -takes iPhone out of her pocket and gives it to Mrs. Larkin-

Mrs. Larkin: Is this an iPhone?

Chanel: Yeah...

Mrs. Larkin: ...You can have it back, because I think if I take it, I'm going to end up playing with it.

Class: Chanel has an iPhone! Let's jack it from her...

Hasegawa-sensei: No food for sale today!

Chanel: But I'm hungry!

Hasegawa-sensei: Then starve!

Mark: Oh my gosh! Josh, when did you change out of your ROTC uniform?

Me: ...Ten minutes ago.

Karen (sitting right next to me): -looks up from her paper and stares at me- ...Oh yeahhhhh!

Me (waking up): -mumbling loudly and incoherently-

Mom (outside my door): Josh? -knocks softly- What are you... doing in there?

Me: -moaning softly-

Mom: ...Okay.

Maria: I think Milissa should go next.

Mr. Meyer: No.

Maria: Why not!?

Mr. Meyer: Because Milissa doesn't answer me! Right, Milissa?

Milissa: ...

Mr. Meyer: See!?

Bernard: Josh, wanna go to Homecoming with me?

Mikey: No b*tch, he's going with me!

Bernard: Josh, who do you want to go with, me or him?

Me: I'm not going to Homecoming.

Mikey: Dammit!

Bernard: If you go with me, there's more in it for you... -flicks tongue-

Rocher (last week): This yogurt tastes soooo sour... -checks expiration date- August 12, 2007...

Mr. Meyer: My cat was lying down on the windowsil, with his arm hanging off the side and--

Rocher: Aww, that's so cute!

Mr. Meyer: It was... At least until he started throwing up and killed my wife's flowerbed.

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Jesse thats a guy: Hey come out here for a minet.

Me: No were in gym.

Justin: So.

Me: Fine I'm coming.

Jesse: Ok we're going to go to Mrs. Davis's room and yell F*** you mrs. Davis.

Me: no

Justin: Your loss.

(they run down the hall)

Jesse and Justin: F*** you Mrs. Davis!

Mrs. Davis: Go to the office or you'll get chocolate.

Me: :huh:

This is a true story I swear to you all true story.

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My friend and I were a little bit hyper when this happened. :embarrassed: Here:

Ok, so we were sitting at the side of a fence on the grass in the field at my school during recess, just acting a little bit hyper, but somewhat bored at the same time. 5 seconds later, some random soccerball nails me on the forehead and bounces away. The kid who kicked it comes to get the ball and runs back with it to his soccer game he was playing before with friends.

Me: *rubbing head* *mumbling* "Jeez, I hope that guy dies and chokes on a chicken bone." :(

My Friend: "What if the guy is a vegetarian?"

Me: *pause* "Well then I hope he chokes on a vegan chicken bone *starts to laugh*

And we eventually burst out laughing. As I said, really hyper. xD

And the other random moments are when my friends and I re-annact parts of episodes from the TV show called, 'Invader Zim', featuring me as Zim! xD

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OK my friend called.

My friend:I can't wait till brawl comes out in a month.

Me:It's been recalled.

My Friend:So call it back whats its number.

Me: :huh::huh::biggrin:

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This happened last year:

Rick, Trevor, and I were in homeroom, our next class was enriched math. We were checking each others' homework.

Trevor: How'd ya get that answer?!

Me: You just multiply by 5, divide by 2, and add 6.

Trevor: ......Huh?

Rick: This is 5th grade work!

Me: How did you even get in enriched math when Chris didn't?

Trevor:......I really don't know...

Rick and I: *look at each other and laugh*

Rest of the clas: *stops talking and stares at us*

We're weird an- *loud high-pitched scream the causes everyone to cover their ears and the Great Wall of China cracks.....again* BUUUUUUG! KILL IT, SHADA, KILL IT! *Shada chases bug*

I swear that just happened...

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Hm... like every single one I can think of is from my crazy friend. xD Such as:

"COOOOOOOOKIE DOUGH!!!!!!!!!"

"You missed!" (That get's a laugh from everyone, but we don;t know why. xD)

and his catch phrase:

"Bite me." (He didn't know what that actually meant until he said it in front of a teacher... :unsure: )

And more to come! (That I can't remember.)

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well, we have many weird things, most of which are inside jokes, but here's one

Peach: Uhhhh, Max? I forgot how to "again"

Max: . . . are you serious?

Peach: YES!! My mind is blank right now!

Max: . . . suuuuure Peach

Peach: How do you spell again? I wanna know how to spell again!!!

we laughed really hard. . . it was one of those "you had to be there" moments.

and of course, there's the famous Darth Vader inncedent. . . But that has a long back story to it, it would take too long to write it, so i'll just tell you th basic story. . . One day, i was bored (nothing new there) so i decided to wear the darth vader voice changing helmet that i had received the night before to school the next day. The next day, we were having fun, playing around with it, then, lunchtime came. We bus our class up to the world college every day for school, to make room for the other, younger, students since our school recently expanded, and we go to lunch with the world college students, which is pretty fun, so anyway, you'd be surprised how many people from around the world know who darth vader is, anyway, we wanted more action, so we got a napkin and wrote, "Free Hugs: Hug Darth Vader and i stood in the middle of the walkway holding up the sign to anyone who would read it. I got about half the school to hug me. My freind got some of it video taped on my other freind's phone, so i might be able to show some of it to you if i get the footage. Well, this guy pulled me aside and said, "We're going to set up a little scene here, okay?" and hands me a toy lightsaber. He explains that he and his friend will come in and pull out their lightsabers, and we will start fighting. That happens, they defeat me, everyone claps, we have to leave now. wow, longer than i expected o.O

and, i just remembered there's "shun the non-beleiver shuuuuuuuuun" although that's from charlie the unicorn. . . we say it funnier

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Ryan:whats himpotats?

me:the heck is that?

Ryan:you know,the water elaphant things.

me:hippo's?

Ryan:yea hilmpo's

me: hippo's

Ryan: hikmpo's

me:sigh..

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Kathryn: Let's have a Wii party!

Me: Yeah! And then we'll start a gang!

Kathryn: A Wii gang!

Me: We'll attack Morse with our Wiimotes and nunchuks because we're NINJA like that!

Me: That's grow-tes-kway!

Karen: I thought it was pronounced "grow-tesk"...

Me: It IS!

Me: -writes "YES" and "NO" on both ends of an eraser- Is Karen gay? -tosses eraser-

Eraser: YES.

Hasegawa-sensei: 2008 is year of presidentiar erection!

-silence in class-

Mark: Oh my gosh! Once, I took a picture of my mom pooing!

Me: I'm gonna grow out my hair and cut it so scenester. And then I'm gonna wear eyeliner and chick pants.

Krystle: Oh no, not even... Hey! We're gonna get shirts made, Josh. They're gonna have our faces like the theater masks, and then in bold words it's gonna say "SCENESTAR!"

Me: Hey Karen! -shows her a very detailed diagram of the male genitalia in our biology book-

Karen: Man, Josh! I was saving that image for marriagw!

Me: Quit freaking out, you see his every time you go to the bathroom!

Mr. Meyer: -changes slide to a Hellenistic nude male statue-

Rocher: Oh, damn!

Maria: Damn, look at that detail!

Suchavady: Damn, my virgin eyes!

Me: Dang, that's one heck of a sculpture.

Mr. Meyer: Could you all stop saying "Damn" in my classroom?

Me: Not me, I said, "Dang!"

-three minutes of silence after Mr. Meyer gave us directions-

Me: ...What are we doing?

Mr. Meyer: -shoots me an agitated look and holds up index, middle, and ring fingers- One, taking notes on the Stoics and Epicureans. Two, contrast the Sophists and Aristotle. Three, study vocab.

Me: ...Oh.

Rocher: Can you repeat that, I was eating.

Mr. Meyer (still holding up his fingers): You know what? Sometimes I just want to lower these two fingers... -points to index and ring fingers- ...and wave the one that's left right in your faces.

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Kathryn: Let's have a Wii party!

Me: Yeah! And then we'll start a gang!

Kathryn: A Wii gang!

Me: We'll attack Morse with our Wiimotes and nunchuks because we're NINJA like that!

Speakin o' Ninja...

My friends and I were bored and we got some guys over to play Rock Paper Scissors at Recess. My one friend who I was facing was obsessed with the Ninja anime Naruto.. so...

Me & Friend: Rock, Paper..

Me: Rock!

Friend: Ninja!

Ne: Wait... what!? When did Ninja become a category!? :huh:

Friend: Just now, and Ninja beats everything! *does fake Ninja kick* xD

And that same day, that same friend and I went out to the corner store on our way home to buy some food, we were starving. She bought Cheesepuffs.

Me: Hey, can I have some cheesepuffs? I forgot my money and I'm really hung--

Friend: *interupts* SCREW THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND, CHEESEPUFFS'LL RULE THE WORLD!

Me: Um... yeah, but can I have some? :embarrassed:

Friend: *shrugs* Sure. *hands me bag*

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This happened today.

Mr. Russal: What do you want

Kid:I need 4c deleated for study island. In wishper *before I beat you up.*

Mr Russel: Yea I'll beat you up first

Me LOLx2

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Today:

Marissa, Alex(girl) and I were at a school party.

Marissa: Is it just me, or did Chris Umeck Shrink?

Alex: oh, I know! He's like, 1 foot shorter than last year!

Marissa: I bet he went back in time, to the cavemen time, when everyone was a miget!

Alex: Who would STILL be taller than him!

Me: NO! YOU'RE BOTH WRONG! He was in a shrinking machine experiment and it went wrong, now it's permenant!

Mars and Alex: YEAH!

*short boy with blond hair walks by*

Marissa: *elbows me* *whispers* There's Jarrrreeed...

Me: *whispers* Shut up, Mars.

Mars and Alex: *once Jared is gone* *points at me* You like Jared, you like Jared.

Me: *hits them both*

Alex: First Trevor, now him? You sure have a thing for the short guys, huh?

Me: Shadup!

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Today:

Hannah, Maryjean (Mj), Nicole and I were out on the trampoline today.

Hannah: Hey Mj, remember when Mrs. Quilici made us say Gastrognemius? *points to lower leg.*

Mj: Oh yeah! That was funny...Haha, we couldnt say it...Hey Taylor, doesnt my Gastrognemius turn you on? *rolls up pant leg*

Me: What the hell? Uhm...no.

Mj: Well whos Gastrognemius DOES turn you on then?

Me: Uh....uhmm..NOT TELLING YOU!

Nicole: Awww, Its that Albino Monkey, Chace, Isnt it?

Me: He is NOT A MONKEY!

Mj: Are you kidding me? He has big bulgey eyes and he's really short!

Hannah: Yeah of course he's a monkey!

Nicole: An albino monkey...he has blonde hair...and he looks like an over all monkey.

Me: ...YOU DO NOT SEE THE BEAUTY INSIDE! Dx (<----I seriously made that face today...)

Gastrognemius is a funny word....

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Teacher: If you could be a Roman god or goddess, who would you be?

Friend: Jesus.

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me: stupid door!

random guy: what did it do to you?

me: it...

RG:yes?

me:randomly starts blabbering about video games till guy goes insane

rg:you use forums to much

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