Posted 1 Jul 2008 Guys, I have a problem with the statement, "It's okay as long as you wait for that one special person." Is your spouse not the most important person in your life on earth? Will anyone be more important or special to you than them? People do have realtionships which are 'special', but don't end up getting married. It's impossible to look into the future to know if the realtionship is going to work out. You don't know who your spouse will be! I know I'm in a great realtionship, but I do know that marriage really isn't important at the moment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 1 Jul 2008 I no longer believe in 'waiting' for that some one special to have your virginity, I used to think this, because I was young, stupid and obviously a virgin. So I waited, passed up a few chances with randoms and/or people who weren't special enough and eventually met that 'special someone' at the age of 16. now fast forward to today (4-5 years later), and this 'some one special' who was very special to me at the time, I now want to brutually murder. Luckily for her, she moved away shortly after we broke up. So I am still a little bitter ... but my point is - Why wait for that some one special if one week, three months or five years later you could totally regret it anyway? why wait for so long when it could backfire anyway? There was no way of knowing at the time that things would turn out like this, but they did, and similar things will happen to some of you. I think just about all of you will change your minds once you get a steady partner. Society very much encourages sex. I think its only the strongly religious who will actually wait til marriage. Although you hate the person you lost your virginity to, didn't you think at the time she was really special? Just that you had no idea things were going to turn out the way they did. You were happy until the break up happened, right? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 2 Jul 2008 Guys, I have a problem with the statement, "It's okay as long as you wait for that one special person." Is your spouse not the most important person in your life on earth? Will anyone be more important or special to you than them? If roughly 50% of marriages fail (statistically speaking - in America & Australia), how do you know that the person you marry is the 'special' one for you? I think with the current rate of divorce, waiting for marriage is silly, relationships (both marital and non-marital) end all the time, some without any warning, so why wait? sex is harmless, providing your using contraception properly it has no negative side effects, sex has a lot of both mental and physical health effects, all of them positive. Its important to be experienced in relationships in all of its aspects (sex included), everyone needs the experience of a bad relationship and a bad break up, although it is never pleasant, it does teach people alot of things, both about people in general and about themselves, and so people should also have the experience of bad sex for comparison. And also for comparison reasons, if you only ever have one sexual partner in your life, you wont know if your having good sex or bad sex, i mean sure it might feel good but you have no other partners to compare it to. Although you hate the person you lost your virginity to, didn't you think at the time she was really special? Just that you had no idea things were going to turn out the way they did. You were happy until the break up happened, right? Yeah, That was my point exactly. At the time she was special and I had no way of predicting the future, that I would end up hating her. I dont regret doing it though, it taught me alot. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 5 Jul 2008 Yaaaay for marriage! =D ...Just thought I'd add that. Saving something so intimate for your best friend in the world that you'll spend the rest of your life with is a pretty special thing. '~' Too bad all those divorces ruin the romance of it. That's why you get married to an OOBERCOOL person that you'd love to be with even when you're both in a bad mood. That's my view on the subject, now for the clich Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 5 Jul 2008 You would only get a divorce if the person wasn't the person meant to be with you, so then you didn't truly love the person. This is true because you don't stop loving your one true love, right? There are other special people, yes, but your true love is someone that you are willing to stay with and be patient with for the rest of your life. So marriage is a very special thing and getting married is a big thing, and you should make sure that you wait for the right person. I think the same thing is true for sex. If you wait for your true love, it'll be more special. So I'll wait. I'm a patient person. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 5 Jul 2008 You would only get a divorce if the person wasn't the person meant to be with you, so then you didn't truly love the person. This is true because you don't stop loving your one true love, right? There are other special people, yes, but your true love is someone that you are willing to stay with and be patient with for the rest of your life. So marriage is a very special thing and getting married is a big thing, and you should make sure that you wait for the right person. I think the same thing is true for sex. If you wait for your true love, it'll be more special. So I'll wait. I'm a patient person. The thing is, you could still love the person, but they may not love you and THEY may file for divorce. You've got to look at it from Zuzu's view. I want to share it with someone special to me. I wouldn't want to give my virginity to anyone, I want it to be special. Even if it doesn't work out, that person was special to me at the time. What I'm saying is that I don't want to just have casual sex, but I'm fine with people who choose to do so. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 6 Jul 2008 The thing is, you could still love the person, but they may not love you and THEY may file for divorce. You've got to look at it from Zuzu's view. I want to share it with someone special to me. I don't want to give my virginity to anyone, I want it to be special. Even if it doesn't work out, that person was special to me at the time. What I'm saying is that I don't want to just have casual sex, but I'm fine with people who choose to do so. True, but I look at it differently. For me, they have to love me enough to marry me first and vice versa. And for me, that person must share my views on divorce (meaning they must be 100% against divorce and not believe in it). See, I believe that, no matter what, divorce is not an option. This is what helps back up my views on sex outside of marriage. The way I see it, sex is a step above marriage. But this is just me. I have no problem with others who don't have the same views, nor do I have any issues with people who have casual sex. All that matters to me is my own morals. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 6 Jul 2008 True, but I look at it differently. For me, they have to love me enough to marry me first and vice versa. And for me, that person must share my views on divorce (meaning they must be 100% against divorce and not believe in it). See, I believe that, no matter what, divorce is not an option. This is what helps back up my views on sex outside of marriage. The way I see it, sex is a step above marriage. But this is just me. I have no problem with others who don't have the same views, nor do I have any issues with people who have casual sex. All that matters to me is my own morals. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm glad someone who shares my opinion can explain it better than me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 7 Aug 2008 Oh man. I'm gonna get mocked. Seriously, you should wait until you're married to have sex. If the person you're having it with gets pregnant, then the guy just left, you'd have a huge problem. Not only would you hate the dude that up and left you, but you'd have pregnancy, and then have to deal with a child, when you could be quite young. Find the person that is most special and that you know won't leave (or you to be tempted to leave) you for anything. I'm thankful I'm Mormon! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 14 Aug 2008 Well, I won't have sex before I'm married. I won't change my mind on that for anybody. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 17 Aug 2008 I am personally not tied to any religion in specific, but I am strongly for waiting until marriage. True, I'm in high school, but I have a high set of morals. I believe that your first kiss, first time having sex, and what-not, should be special. I understand about 5 years later being an issue, I had my first kiss last summer and I've now broken up with my boyfriend. I regret not reserving it very much. I swore to myself a few years ago that I would wait until I was married, not engaged, not in love. If any of you have seen Sailor Moon, you may remember the speech Elizabeth gives about her first kiss. If not, then watch it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GY4i4zr7skY There's the link. I also would like to make note that you only have your virginity or maidenhood once. I cherish the knowledge that I can and will resist lust, which is something that too many people can't claim in their first year of high school. I hold much higher respect for those who cherish and wait for their first time. Another thing: I make a point of differentiating "making love" from "sex" frequently. Sex is something that can be with anyone, male, female, animal, corpse, whatever. Making love is something that is special and should be reserved for only the one you wish to spend your life with. In some cases, it's the same thing, in some they are very different. My maidenhood will last until I find that special someone to give it too. It is as precious to me as my soul and my mind and my heart. I cannot just give it to anyone. When I find that person that I can trust with my mind, I might give them my heart, and if I give them that I might give them my soul. Only if they have my soul and I have theirs, will I give them my body. One night stands, casual flings, friends with benefits, they don't bother me when talking about other people. I could not bring myself to do that. I can see that a lot of people just enjoy having sex. Good for them. I refuse to have sex. If I join my body with another, it will be in love-making, not sex. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 17 Aug 2008 (edited) Fair enough. I believe in sex after marriage but I can't really give you a reason why. It's just the way I was brought up I guess. Edited 17 Aug 2008 by ANGEL TEETH (see edit history) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 17 Aug 2008 Wow sistercather, you've only made one post and I already respect you more than a lot of other people. I hope you'll stay; this site could always use another person with high morals. Good for you, waiting untill marriage. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 17 Aug 2008 I don't think you should have sex outside of marriage because you don't want to rist getting STD's, and then in the end the person leaves you, and your all alone, but if you get an STD when your married there is a chance that the person won't leave you, and they will still love you. That was dumb, but what i'm trying to say is I don't think you should have sex outside of marriage. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
