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My fan fiction

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Posted

This is a tale of man, known only as the Triforce master. His history has been long forgotten by the vast races of Hyrule.

But if they remembered like I do, they would know that he was a man of great faith and justice. The one fateful day he got ahold of the Triforce, the most precious gem in all of the universe, he had not changed one bit.

YET.

He originally used it to stop war and hunger.

But slowly and Surely, it devoured his soul, bit by everlasting bit, and he grew evil.

He brought famine upon the land, and turned ordinary people into his mindless slaves.

How is it that I am the only one who knows this?

Because I am Him.

I AM THE TRIFORCE MASTER!!!!!

Well, what do you guys think so far, is it good? Bad? Complete utter CR*P? pleases state your honest opinion and use no harsh language, please. If it is good do you have any suggestions? Please let me know. I can't wait to see how this did. I'll be waiting for results.

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Posted

Well, before I state a opinion.......I will need to know MORE. Not just a few lines.... :unsure:

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Posted

Urh...That IS the fanfic.

Well, uh...

Sorry, but...it's terrible.

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Posted

ouch

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Posted

Just keep writing. :) Post more

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Posted

Just keep writing. :) Post more

K'. I'll try. I'll see if I get in the mood for it. So if you wnat me to post more, be patient.

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Posted

OOOOOH! There's MORE?!

My bad... Let's retract that last statement.

.elbirret s'ti...tub ,yrroS

...hu ,lleW

.cifnaf eht SI tahT... hrU

UNDONE!

Keep it up, it seems pretty interesting, really.

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Posted

Lol thanks like I said any suggestions? :D

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Posted

it's good but add more

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Posted

it's good but add more

Ok, i'll see how chapter one does:

CHAPTER ONE

BOOM!

Link was awakened by a strong flash of thunder.

He stepped outside to see that it was raining. HARD.

"Strange..." Said Link. "It hasn't rained like this for a very long time.....and it is also strange that it is raining, even though Ganon has been locked in the Sacred Realm..."

Then it hit him what could have happened.

"By the Gods! Zelda locked him in the Sacred Realm, but wouldn't that mean he could have gotten the Triforce? No matter. I must go see if the Princess is okay!"

Link got on his horse, Epona, and rode off to Hyrule Castle. There, he foun Zelda staring out the window.

"Princess, are you okay?!" Asked Link.

Zelda changed the subject.

"We have had peace for a Million years, and now this...this rain comes, a signal of a terrible evil coming....Could Ganon have gotten ahold of the Golden Power of the Gods?"

Just then, A Lightning Bolt struck Hyrule Castle.

"Princess! Don't worry, I've got you!" Said Link.

"Link....I'm scared..."

"Don't worry. Lightning never strikes in the same place twice."

BOOM!!

"This is the strangest Lighning I've ever experienced." Said Link.

BOOM!

Just as that third Bolt hit, the roof of Hyrule Castle broke off, revealing a whirling hole in the Sky, that was sucking everything into it.

"Hold on!" Said Link.

Using his Ocarana, he warped out of Hyrule Castle, to Hyrule Market.

Where he met some worried Villagers.

"GO!!! GO TO THE SHELTER!!! GO NOW!!!!" Shouted Link.

The Villagers Listened.

At the shelter, the hole persisted, still sucking everything into it's path.

A Tornado come closer to the shelter.

'We're all gonna Die!" Shouted a Villager.

Just as the Tornado drew near, Link played the Sun's song, and the Tornado and Thunder and Lightning and the Whirling hole all dissapeared, Replaced by Day.

The Villager breathed a Sigh of Relief.

Little di they know, This was only the beggining.

So how do you like chapter 1? Good? Crummy? Excelent? I think I spelt Ocarana wrong. Anyway got any suggestions now? :blink:

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Posted

Meh. I'd rather see Link PWN then be pwned.

How come people read YOUR fanfic when the beginning of mine is blatantly ignored?

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Posted

hmm..that was nice but not excellent ..I think you could've done better with the details and stuff..

so here's what I thought should've happen..:

:>:BOOM!!

"Don't worry. Lightning never strikes in the same place twice." Link assured Zelda.

BOOM!!

"This is the strangest Lightning I've ever experienced" said Zelda.

"It's stange indeed..." Link replied in a grim tone.:<:

..

hmm..yeah all that was needed was some more details to let the reader imagine or feels wht's going on in the story...and the part where Link and Zelda was warpped into the Market..you could've done better too..the problem, according to me..was that Link was able to take hold of the situation at hand and dissolved matters so quickly..

Like I said..it's jst the matter of adding a little more...

but overall..it's good..for a start..^.^-

How come people read YOUR fanfic when the beginning of mine is blatantly ignored?

cause yours sucks..!!!!

...........nah I'm jst joking...I've never read yours..so I'll go look for them okay.. :D..I've always loved to read fanfic...XD

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