Fighter of Time

[Brat 0]

I hope you all enjoy this fanfic I'll post the chapters the the weeks. This is a FINISHED fanfic... well unless you count having a sequel, not finished.

Please Note:

Link and Navi belong to Nintendo. They are not my characters so there

[Brat 0]

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Fighter of the Time

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Chapter 1: Awakening

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A beeping could be heard, it sounded like it followed a steady drum beat. Other unknown sounds could also be heard around the small faerie. She sat up and her eyes shot around the room she found herself in. She looked shocked. Her heart was racing. Where was she?

She quickly realized she was on a white pillow that she sunk into. The bed she was on was for a normal size person. It looked sort of like a cot by the simplicity of it. And as for her wounds, they were all wrapped up with bandages. It looked like someone was able to treat her after all.

The room was lit from the ceiling, but there were neither flames nor any windows for the sun. It did not seem to give off any heat. The source of the light that lit the room was mysterious. As for the floor it looked to be like some kind of iron or steal. It had a shine to it as well. And the door to the room; seemed to be made of the same substance as the floor. The faerie was distraught at the strange sights.

As she continued to survey the room she noticed there were odd-like boxes that had red and blue vines sprouting out of them. The gray-colored boxes were making whirling sounds. The walls of the room were bright white. Two of the four walls were covered with shelves that contained many vials and other things that she had never seen before. She noticed that there were three other beds that looked like the one that she was on.

She then heard heavy breathing coming from her left side. She looked over and saw Link on another bed. He had a clear mask over his mouth and nose. His hat was missing and he had a couple of bandages on his face. He was shirtless as his chest was all bandaged up. There were red and blue vines hooked up to his chest that seemed to go to one of the weird contraptions next to the bed.

Navi let out a small frantic shriek not sure of what the weird things were that had attached themselves to Link

[Ryu 7]

This is really good! :'D

[real link 0]

amen

[Brat 0]

;_: thank u for comments.. so as a prize.. um THE NEXT CHAPTER!!! *Poof*

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Fighter of the Time

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Chapter 2: The Hero Awakens

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Two hours passed, the room stayed silent except for the steady beeping of the machines. The beeping on the machine started to increase as did the teen

[Brat 0]

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Fighter of the Time

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Chapter 3: The Assassin

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Hours passed as the two slept. The blonde stirred in his sleep. Link opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Staggering footsteps down the hall outside their room had awoken the teen. He sat up and looked down at Navi who was peacefully sleeping. He smiled while crawling carefully off the bed not wanting to wake her.

The teen looked at his friend and shivered a little. The teen was still shirtless, covered in bandages. He looked to the door. He could hear the footsteps getting closer. Without any hesitation the teen walked up to the door, opened it and walked out. Link

[Brat 0]

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Fighter of the Time

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Chapter 4: The Bet

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[Brat 0]

Well since I'm not sure if people are reading this... but if they are they can find the rest at http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4304278/1/Fighter_of_Time

There is also the sequel that is being writen as well

[Aatch 0]

Before I start, I should let you know that I am a fairly harsh critic, but I always try to help, to improve. Except in horrific cases, where improvement is equal to destruction.

I like the mystery of it, the strange fighter, the cyan-haired assassiness. (Though with a name like Autum, red hair seems more appropriate, personal opinion though)

I'm intrigued by the time-travel aspect. Though some of the new aspects you've introduced are somwhat cheesy. "Dimensional Police" reminds me of "The One", an over-the-top Jet Li movie.

I think the pace changes too much. You move between fast-moving story progression, and slow character building too much. As a reader it is confusing and makes it seem like you want to know how the story ends more than the audience.

I suggest reading the story with new eyes. Pretend you've never read it before. Make changes, add drama to the dramatic bits, slow down the hectic bits where it needs to be taken slowly. Use more adjectives, there are more ways to describe Link than "The blonde".

Oh, and for the love of all things literary, never, ever, use a word like "doggiepoo".

[Brat 0]

Though with a name like Autum, red hair seems more appropriate, personal opinion though - Where she is from everything a lot more different than from what we are use to. She was named after a stone that is found in their Dimension.

I never seen 'The One'(I don't watch a lot of TV or movies) so I wouldn't really know. Time travel was the best way to explain it without getting to complicated with explaining dimensions, merges, and all of the other things that run with it. Dimensional Police, Dimensional Government, Elites, all are stuff I created and try to run with a lot of my stuff.

As for pacing, I'm still trying to get a hang of it. I been trying to use different adj. but not being one who is big on vocab gets a bit hard, lol. But I know sometimes you got to let go of a project or you can spend the rest of your life trying to fix it to perfection. So I'm trying to do a bit better with the sequel, than sitting and trying over and over to get the first one right.

As for 'Doggiepoo" i sadly have a character who would use that, along with other cheezy and other nicknames that comes to her head. I don't' know if shes going to appear or not.

But thanks for the review ill keep that stuff in mind.

[link is my big bro 0]

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Fighter of the Time

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Chapter 3: The Assassin

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Hours passed as the two slept. The blonde stirred in his sleep. Link opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Staggering footsteps down the hall outside their room had awoken the teen. He sat up and looked down at Navi who was peacefully sleeping. He smiled while crawling carefully off the bed not wanting to wake her.

The teen looked at his friend and shivered a little. The teen was still shirtless, covered in bandages. He looked to the door. He could hear the footsteps getting closer. Without any hesitation the teen walked up to the door, opened it and walked out. Link