Not getting anywhere...

[Gingerlink 2]

[this is copy and pasted from a rooster teeth journal I just wrote, but decided to see if you guys had any thoughts as well]

As some of you may know (as I tend to make it painfully clear whenever I have the opportunity), I have as of yet never had a girlfriend. Of course, I'm at university now so at least the chances for that are increased (despite the fact I do computer science, which actually does have several girls doing it).

However, I'm coming up to finishing my first term and there's nothing, nada, zilch. I mean there's definitely no point in randomly asking anyone out now because I wouldn't see them until after the holidays, if they were to say yes. I also haven't really bonded (no innuendo here) with any of the girls here. I mean there's a fair few I speak to, mostly around college with one or two doing computer science that I've "spoken to". I mean they seem really nice, but I never seem to get the chance to get to know them and I don't feel as though there's any reason plunging into this kind of thing without us both knowing each other. If I know them in advance, at least I will have a much better idea as to whether it's going to work.

Another thing that bothers me is I reckon I'm likely to make tons of rookie mistakes that at a younger age would seem commonplace and far more acceptable, but far less so at my age due to an expected experience in the matter.

Basically, what bothers me is I don't feel like I can do anything. All of the girls I speak to seem vaguely interested in other people or other people in them. I can't seem to catch any of them to have extended conversations with and I'm absolutely rubbish at starting conversations. It basically ends up being a 2 minute conversation with one of the girls about how their day has been before someone else comes along and engages them in a far more interesting conversation...

[AarghZombies 0]

Hmm... tricky. It took me a while to make course friends when I went to Uni, but trust me, it will happen. I've met a couple of people who will be friends with for life.

My advise: don't try too hard. It can be a bit obvious. Not great advise I know, but if you don't worry about it so much you'll relax and be more likely to continue a conversation with them. Also, try making conversation about assignments or class work, this will lead into more things to talk about.

Organise a class Christmas outing. It might be easier to speak to people in a different environment. And alcohol works as a fantastic social lubricant. But don't get too drunk!

If you decide you really haven't hit it off with them, join a society, or set one up. There will be lots of people with the same interest and you will have lots to talk about. If you find some girls who want to help you set one up, you will, of course, have to spend a lot of time with them .

Not amazing help, but I hope this helps a bit, let me know how it goes.

[ZuZu 10]

Aarghzombies has some good points (that are mostly common sense)

ie. start conversations of mutual interest (ie class) and using alcohol both good ways to talk and interact with people

that aside it doesn't sound like you have too many girls at your uni so I would suggest also looking elsewhere than depending on uni to provide. ie go to more parties, become friends with friends' friends, go out more.

truth be told, the internet is a rather useless way to meet girls so don't rely on it at all.

its good that you want to get to know some one first before asking them out because anyone who says 'yes' to going out with a some one they don't know is a psycho and will murder you in your sleep. So get to know girls before asking them out.. also you can ask them out to places without it neccessarily being a date.. its a great way to get to know some one better simply by spending time with them alone or in a small group.

I wouldn't worry about rookie mistakes - everyone makes some sort of mistakes, even in their 50th relationship. its only natural so its not a big deal... So when you eventually do get a girl (im assuming you would be honest with her and tell her you hadn't had a girlfriend before) then she should be understanding, since she knows that its your first time.

people control their own lives and you control yours so if the girls at uni are no good, the simple answer would be to find more girls by going out more. You can just ask them simple questions like what kind of music / movies / books / games (if they look the type... dont ask if they dont look it) they like and start a conversation from there. There is nothing wrong with starting up a conversation with some one on the street. most importantly you need to just relax and go with it, if your obviously struggling to hold a conversation.. then its really quite obvious.. you need to just let it come naturally - like Aarghzombies said - dont try too hard.. don't look like your trying to make it work, you just make it work. easier said than done, i know.

If your bad at starting conversations, even try starting some up with boys as practice because then you have probably alot more mutual interests to talk about (sport / games / sex), and you don't have the pressure of 'oh my god i want to impress this girl' and you will become more friendly, a better talker etc.

As a last bit of advice, if you meet some one very friendly / social (whether its a boy or a girl) pay attention to what sort of things they do when talking to people, cos some people just have a knack for it and make the convo flow so easily and effortlessly. and you can probably learn a thing or two from them.

hope this helps.

[Gingerlink 2]

This being Cambridge, basically everyone in the town who's a similar age to me is at the university, just not necessarily in the same college (residence) or doing the same subject.

Also, I'm a member of the assassins guild, which is a good way to meet random people at the other colleges, although all 4 people I killed this term were guys and it was a second year girl that got me (I came 6th out of 160ish, woo!). Of course, killing people with hats and challenging them to duels in the middle of town with french baguettes is rather amusing anyway.

Thanks for the advice so far!

[Skippy 82]

^ okay, that sounds incredibl fun, seriously, can I get the rules for that?

On your actual topic, it sounds like you just need to put yourself out there a little bit more,be outgoing, maybe be the one to arrange one of these apparently massive games. Start a club for people with similar interests.

I might also suggest joining some type of fraternity or greek life, I don't know if you all have that or not, but joining a frat has introduced me to many many people, boys, girls, people in high power, good connections, it's one of the few things I've been truly happy with at my uni. It's not all drinking and so on, but it is available.

Don't reallly know what else to tell you on that. Other posts have some god points. Good luck.

[Gingerlink 2]

http://www.srcf.ucam.org/assassins

Also, you might be able to spot me a couple of times in the reports for the most recent game, I didn't do anything particularly fancy this term other than get one of my kills with a toon link plushie:

http://www.srcf.ucam.org/assassins/hups.html

but yeah, I was thinking about starting some sort of club, although chances are it'll be more college-centric so it would be a way to get to know people better as opposed to meeting new people.