Twilight is a VIRUS.

[Cockwaffle 0]

Twilight is a serious virus that is spreading like wildfire across the Earth!

The infection is spread via taking in fairly small amounts of Twilight in the eyeballs, or occasionally through direct contact with Twihards or Rabids.

The infection takes three forms in it's victims.

Form 1: The Infected

These individuals are the poor souls who've seen or read Twilight or been given the infection by a Twihard or a Rabid. They haven't been turned into a Twihard, generally to a lack of Fangirlitis. The Infected usually have lesser opinions about Twilight. Aside from Immunes, these are the most attacked by Twihards and Rabids. If you are Infected, please do what you can to help others from becoming something worse... I am also an infected via contact with a Twihard.

Form 2: The Twihards

These individuals, usually referred to as "The Horde", are those who've been infected by a double whammy of the virus and Fangirlitis. These are the people who may insult, harass, or even harm Infected and Immunes. They carry around a copy of Twilight at all times, wear clothing with Twilight or it's characters on it, and talk about Twilight every waking moment. Beware: The infection can be spread from Twihards as simply as through conversation. These are the most common of the infected.

Form 3: The Rabids

By far the most dangerous form of the Virus. Rabids have attacked Infected and Immunes who even has an opinion of Twilight that is okay. Anything short of stellar can set off the Rabids. Tend to be heavier-set than most, and can do massive damage by attacking weak points. Attacks from Rabids have resulted in broken arms, broken toes, and cut eyes. Avoid at all costs, especially Antis.

The Immunes

The Immunes are a select group of people who have not been subject to the virus. Generally, the Immunes simply refuse to read/watch it, and therefore cannot contract the virus. Most men are Immunes, mind those who are dragged into it by Twihards.

The Cure

As of yet, there is no cure. However, our crack team of scientists are trying to formulate a cure, yet without a full understanding of the virus, the chances are slim.

What can I do?

AVOID TWILIGHT AT ALL COSTS. Friends and family can be easily influenced. If someone you know becomes a Twihard, do your best to revert the virus to it's earlier Infected stage. The Infected have the only true understanding of this virus. There is nothing wrong with the Infected, they are Antis just like you!

What if I become Infected?

STAY. CALM. It's not too late for you! Do not isolate yourself from other Infected or Immunes or you may develop Fangirlitis and become a Twihard. Surround yourself by Infected and Immunes and be sure to repeat this phrase..."Twilight sucks...It is a horribly written vampire fanfiction that ruins everything about vampires." You'll become resistant to Fangirlitis and will then be safe.

Someone's being attacked by a Twihard or Rabid!

Don't sit there staring! Back them up. If you're going to publicly bash Twilight, be sure to travel in groups. Alone, you can easily be teamed by the horde or others. Together, you can at least have a survival chance. If Twihards or Rabids are becoming violent, do not try to resist. Simply run and try to take cover from them. Fighting back is NOT THE ANSWER. If you ARE attacked and survive, be sure to take any and all legal action you can. It may help deter violence from other Twihards and Rabids and help the fight against Twilight.

Some Rabids are different! How do I know who's who?

They each have their own form of attack along with basic smacking and punching. There are 5 types of Rabids.

Rabid 1: The Pudge

These dangerous Rabids usually will use their massive girth to break parts of your body or throw you to the ground. Pudges like to fight together with other Twihards and Rabids. Generally, a Pudge's wail of "DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT TWILIGHT!" can bring more Twihards and Rabids to the fight. Beware.

Attack example: http://twilightsucks.proboards.com/index.c...amp;thread=4936

Rabid 2: The Pouncer

These Rabids tend to hide around buildings or in bushes. If they suspect you of disliking Twilight, they will try to find a good time to jump you when no one else is around and attack you. Not as dangerous as the Pudge, because they have a harder time breaking your body parts, yet can still do physical damage. Tend to stalk before an attack.

Attack example: http://twilightsucks.proboards81.com/index...amp;thread=5942

Rabid 3: The Grabber

The Grabber is a Rabid who may assist another Rabid in attacking by holding the victim still. The Grabber may also try to choke or otherwise incapacitate it's victim. Grabbers and Pudges and others are dangerous in groups. Be sure to have others around to push off the Grabber and help hold them back.

Attack example: http://twilightsucks.proboards.com/index.c...amp;thread=6445

Rabid 4: The Assaulter

The Assaulter is quite possibly the most dangerous of the Rabids. The Assaulter will attack at any time, with anything it's got. Assaulters coupled with any other Rabids can institute extreme damage upon a victim. It may take several Antis to stop the Assaulter from attacking.

Attack example: http://twilightsucks.proboards.com/index.c...amp;thread=5095

Rabid 5: The Biatch

The Biatch is a simple Rabid who seems to be docile until startled. She can go about her day without attacking anyone, but if you even insist Twilight is anything short of amazing, she will violently attack. She tends to try to knock down her victim and slash or punch her victim wildly. Can easily do tons of damage to a victim alone before anyone is brave enough to help.

Attack Example: http://twilightsucks.proboards.com/index.c...amp;thread=5143

Combined Attack Examples:

http://twilightsucks.proboards.com/index.c...amp;thread=6459 Unknown...

http://twilightsucks.proboards.com/index.c...amp;thread=5095 Pudge and Assaulter

http://twilightsucks.proboards75.com/index...4783&page=1 Pudge and three Grabbers

Be sure to help any victim fend off these dangerous Rabids before a casualty is experienced.

ATVA_Flier.pdf

[Cockwaffle 0]

I agree

Agree to what?

This is a serious flyer issuing safety precautions. The PDF is there for you to print and post around everywhere to warn people.

[Fierce Muffin 490]

Agreed.

But I have a torrent of a downloaded Twilight movie on my computer, but I've never watched it and it's for my sister.

Is this okay?

[Alex Arbiter 3]

the movie should have never been released!

[=Zoe= 3]

Say what you want, I read Twilight and I liked it, still this was really funny!

I know the concept of vampire is different, quite poor sometimes, and Bella obviosly has a lack of self-steem but hey, it's a romantic series and people like it, I liked, though the last two books really sucked (particulary the last one).

Those people who can't stand that other people don't like Twilight are just retards, they're turning this into a religion or something

[Du5t1n 57]

Vampires....

DO NOT

Sparkle.

[=Zoe= 3]

Vampires....

DO NOT

Sparkle.

That's the main reason the concept is poor.

I couldn't have said it better, though

[Oliver 0]

More like a cult, as is with every fad.

[Alex Arbiter 3]

liked the book not the movie

[Cockwaffle 0]

Agreed.

But I have a torrent of a downloaded Twilight movie on my computer, but I've never watched it and it's for my sister.

Is this okay?

You don't have a sister.

[Fierce Muffin 490]

I have a brother and a sister.

Plus, I'm a nice brovver.

[Oliver 0]

I have a brother and a sister.

Plus, I'm a nice brovver.

is your sister hot? Actually, i think she'd be really ugly.

[Fierce Muffin 490]

is your sister hot?

Because I'd say yes to that.

[Adr990 2]

Django is back?!

Ololololol.

Stop and go?

Anyways,

I'm really spaced at the moment... (Like in drooling on keyboard. )

[Cockwaffle 0]

Nah.

I was requested to spread this from the Twilight Sucks forums.