Twilight is a VIRUS.

[Knockdown 0]

This series is fun to make fun of some girls in my english class posted up a ton of edward and bella pics in the back of the classroom so me and my friends wrote sissy and gay on everybodys faces lol

[Ammonsa 308]

I had a terrifying experience today, My sister was already home because she was sick and when I got home she was reading a book in the loungeroom. Now she never reads so I was intrigued, so I read a sentence of the book from over her shoulder and I realised what the book was.

I was infected already via contact with some twihards but now that I have read a BLOODY SENTENCE of the book the infection shall get worse.

[Chameleon 0]

I had a terrifying experience today, My sister was already home because she was sick and when I got home she was reading a book in the loungeroom. Now she never reads so I was intrigued

This is the premise of the new novel I'm writing that consists of a bunch of vignettes. I don't mean the topic, but the way I'm going about writing it. I've discovered one must lower the bar to get more readers (and as a result more income). I applied a technique to make it more subjective to the readers based on gender. The red text is for men to read and the yellow is for women. The white text is either applicable for both genders or is just worthless fluff. It makes everything so much simpler. Here is an excerpt from the second chapter:

The big guy with big muscles picked up the woman in the sexy dress with the large boobs. They were all sweaty and it was pretty sexy – especially since she was just wearing a nightgown. She had just been in the middle of a meal, and caught his reflection in the spoon she was still holding. He was big, strong, handsome, a bit dirty, and had five-o-clock shadow. She looked up to him and said, "Wow, you're ridiculously good looking. Maybe you could do that for a career."

"Do what?" He asked with his sexy voice.

"Be professionally good looking," she replied with her also sexy voice. Sexier, even. I guess it depends what floats your boat.

BOOM. EXPLOSION. Five bad dudes came out with some pretty BA-looking guns. The hero-guy was all like, "Hey, foxy lady, I'm gonna put you down. You'll be like, totally safe here and stuff. Don't worry, I'll save you."

The hero-dude pulled out a big rocket launcher and started firing it. Then the bad guys were all dead and they went back to the house and had some totally hot sex. Oh, and he seriously called her back a few days later.

Edited 18 Feb 2009 by Chameleon (see edit history)

[Ammonsa 308]

lol, that was amusing.

I keep throwing twilight in the bin and my sister keeps getting the book out and attacking me!

Edited 18 Feb 2009 by Waylander (see edit history)

[Xylobe 0]

Ah, I can see it now.

So a member of this cult is sitting in a private chamber in the ceremonial basement of her BFF Jill's house.

"Edward loves me," she says, holding a blade to her wrist."Edward loves me not." With the beginning of the word not, the blade quickly swipes across her wrist, leaving a river of blood in its wake.

"Sister June," Jill said, opening the door. "Robert Patterson has cut his hair."

June's eyes widen in shock. The sudden revelation of this event...His hair...The hair of Edward.

It was too much to take.

The blade found itself lodged into June's wrist.

"Bring me the ceremonial glitter of the end. Let it shroud my skin like a shadow, engulfing me in it. Let it seep into my blood and quench my breath."

Jill only replied with a nod, and fetched the glitter.

...it took me 15 minutes to stop laughing.

[Stormsworder 0]

Proud to say I'm a girl who NEVER got into Twilight (Vwoot!). I absolutely detest the series and refuse to even read the books or watch the movies. My mom watched the movie and said she hated it. She wanted more of vampires and less of gothic emo love story with sparkling vampires.

As a piece of flair I'm proud to have on my Facebook states... "And then Buffy staked Edward. The End." Angel and Spike could kick Edward's scrawny little hide... *grumble grumble*

When I was at church camp, I saw one girl with a shirt with Twilight on it in the same track as me (and I had been ranting about how much I didn't like Twilight to my friends before I noticed her), and then another had a shirt with the "Cullen family crest" or whatever.

Much eye-twitching ensued.

[Arcane 12]

This is the premise of the new novel I'm writing that consists of a bunch of vignettes. I don't mean the topic, but the way I'm going about writing it. I've discovered one must lower the bar to get more readers (and as a result more income). I applied a technique to make it more subjective to the readers based on gender. The red text is for men to read and the yellow is for women. The white text is either applicable for both genders or is just worthless fluff. It makes everything so much simpler. Here is an excerpt from the second chapter:

The big guy with big muscles picked up the woman in the sexy dress with the large boobs. They were all sweaty and it was pretty sexy

[Jo-Bengt 0]

Ah, I can see it now.

So a member of this cult is sitting in a private chamber in the ceremonial basement of her BFF Jill's house.

"Edward loves me," she says, holding a blade to her wrist."Edward loves me not." With the beginning of the word not, the blade quickly swipes across her wrist, leaving a river of blood in its wake.

"Sister June," Jill said, opening the door. "Robert Patterson has cut his hair."

June's eyes widen in shock. The sudden revelation of this event...His hair...The hair of Edward.

It was too much to take.

The blade found itself lodged into June's wrist.

"Bring me the ceremonial glitter of the end. Let it shroud my skin like a shadow, engulfing me in it. Let it seep into my blood and quench my breath."

Jill only replied with a nod, and fetched the glitter.

Oh shi-

And on the news the next day...

"Police have uncovered a suicidal religious cult centered around creatures similar to vampires. Members of this cult would undergo a ritual where they slit their wrists and filled the wounds with glitter so that they could "sparkle like Edward" in their final moments of life. Upon discovery, the members of this cult began to frantically undergo this ritual, resulting in mass suicide. Police were able to capture one girl before she used the "ceremonial glitter of the end." When later questioned about this ritual, and why they did it, she responded "because Edward is, like, so hot." Psychologists believe that these cultists wanted to feel as close as possible to this "Edward." Some believe that they thought of him as a god. It is believed that, in committing mass suicide, these cultists were attempting to honor or hide this deity. Age and gender may also be involved in this "religion." The cultists were all females in their early teens, and were all students of a local middle school. Further interrogation will hopefully lead to more information on this cult."

[Ammonsa 308]

Haha, this thread is priceless. Now, I've been pretty lucky and the worst fans I've encountered have been diehard twihards so far. Until today... Today I encounted a GRABBER and a BIATCH. They asked me if I liked twilight and I said, "not really, but to each his own." (I have learnt not to provoke twihards.)

This wasn't good enough for them so the GRABBER grabbed me(of course) and let the BIATCH beat into me for a couple of minutes. Yes, I got bashed by rabids.

On a lighter note, Stephanie meyer is planning on her next horrific moster to ruin. Zombies! She plans on giving them "feelings" to show humans that all they want to do is be loved by them. They don't eat human flesh, only animals and one Zombie falls in love with a human which will result in four more books of staring into undead people's perfect eyes.

[Vio Milanor 28]

I read this... o: Yes, I do.

I can't help but feel a similar vibe as that of the vibes that emit from Left4Dead. o.o

[Stormsworder 0]

Wait... you're not serious about Stephanie Myer's next novels being about zombies... right?

[Ammonsa 308]

No, it's not true. But imagine if it was...

[Du5t1n 57]

ZOMBIES!!!

[Umbreon 0]

... *steps away slowly* I am still immune... Being stubborn helps here! The lady just can't write if you ask me... Anyways I just thought of a new way to practice Shoalin. Go to a mall announce I hate it and then just defend myself... I can't get in to much trouble as I was defending myself from my attackers... But something about older books seems to help... (all the way back o the subject of a cure) or at least they can be used as a vaccine I started reading the Pern (first published in the '70s) books before I tried Twilight and couldn't stand it... I was ready to barf during the preview of the second movie... Anyways... Still hate the series...