The Hero Returns. The Legend of Zelda: Spherust of Ganon

[Alaik 0]

A sword. A shield. These are the things that adorn the wall above the fireplace of an aging man

[Alaik 0]

So, What do you think? Is it worth reading? What needs updating? I appreciate any and all comments.

[Dusty 0]

its ok....you call him 'the aging man' tooo much tho

[Aatch 0]

Its pretty good. Your story telling ability is better than some. You dont insist on the 'And Then..' approach.

That said... I found it hard to keep track of what was happening. Is it a flash back, or a sequence of events. Try structuring your ideas more. Theres a lot of potential stored in this story, like an uncut diamond, it just needs refining.

Basically, If you are skipping to a flash back imply that it is a flash back. Also, remember that your readers aren't psychic. They don't know whats going on inside your head. I've made this mistake before, so I'll tell you whats been told to me. Re-read your work with a new eye, forget that you wrote it, forget all the ideas that went into. If you can still understand the story and it invokes the right emotions at the right time, you have written a good story.

Try reading a few great books. The best way to know how to write a good story, is to read some.

[real link 0]

So, What do you think? Is it worth reading? What needs updating? I appreciate any and all comments.

awesome I think this story deserves A big happy dance rating *drum roll* :joy: :joy: :joy: :joy: