Spider-Man 3 way underrated.... Pirates 3 a complete pile of fecal matter...

[Heir_to_Hyrule 0]

This really belongs here as much as it does in the Rants and Raves forum, but whatever....

Constantly, I hear people talk about a movie, Spider-Man 3 specifically, and literally go "Oh god, worst movie of the year." What? Are you kidding? Pirates 3 came out that year... how would a movie like that not get the "worst movie of the year" title? Yes, I'm talking bad about Pirates. Oh my god, oh no, how dare I do so.

But honestly...

Okay, Spider-Man 3 definitely had its faults.

The Peter/MJ storyline got soapy quickly, there wasn't enough contrast between good and evil Peter, how he finds the suit is a bit of a stretch, and it handled the dark side like too much of a joke.

People just wanted a two hour fight between Spider-Man and Venom. You forget what a movie is supposed to do - tell a story. Spider-Man has a story. The best comics weren't the ones with him fighting Doc Ock or anything. The best ones were the ones that were about Peter Parker. Venom wasn't presented as a villain - he was presented as the consequence for Peter's actions. Yeah, if I were to add anything to Venom, it would've been the sense of duality between Venom and Brock. The fact that when Venom talks, he describes himself as "we". Then you could have had a great line like "We are the consequences of your actions. Now, we want revenge. We are poison to you. We are Venom!" or something... But that's it. It's not Venom that's the villain. It's Brock. Getting the black suit was just HIS just desserts.

But then it tied up Harry's storyline to create a great arc that crossed all three films. It actually told a story about the abuse of power. And the characters, no matter who they were, remained likable, and humanly flawed.

It did exactly what it needed to do. Tell a compelling story, create characters that develop and grow, continue the story set up by the first two films, and raise the bar in terms of the action. All of which it did quite successfully, especially the last part. It had its faults, but the strengths certainly outweighed those weaknesses

But when I try and defend this movie, and then bring up Pirates 3, people go "But that was such a good movie!" Uhh... no it wasn't. In fact I'll say it's the most overrated movie of the year, and one of the worst big-budget movies of the year, being topped only by Rush Hour 3 (if by anything). And I'm going to be including the second movie in my feelings of hatred because they both suffer from the exact same faults.

It started to try telling a story, but in an instant, it became completely convoluted. I mean when Chow Yun Fat's character is dying and he talks to Elizabeth, he calls her Callipso, so you think "Oh wait, is she actually some goddess?" But no, it ended up being a completely random, needless mistake that does nothing but confuse the audience. None of the characters are likable in any way or for any reason. None of them have any sense of honor, loyalty, or clear motivation. People try to defend this fact by saying "Oh but they're pirates!" Yeah... and there's no reason to want any one of them to survive. All of them will send their "friends" off to die in a second without a second of hesitation. All of them think about themselves, and all of them just change what they're after about five times within both the second and final movie.... each. I don't feel scared for Elizabeth or Will or Jack if they're in trouble. In fact, I'd gladly shoot them myself for being complete jerks. The ONLY character who is written well is Norrington, because he's the only one who develops in a clear way, has human flaws, is believable, and ultimately has a sense of honor. In the end, he's the only one I'd let live if I were to kill every last person in that movie. Speaking of development, none of them develop. Jack Sparrow doesn't grow to become a hero or anything. He's just doing the same exact thing all three damn movies. He was entertaining the first time, the second time wasn't bad, but the third time was just the exact same... no change in the slightest. Don't even mention Will or Elizabeth. Just because they become captains means they learn anything new about themselves, change, or have any level of intrigue in the slightest.

And not to mention the fact that trying to watch the second or third movies again ends up making you want to kill yourself. All because the fights are completely tedious, last 20 minutes longer than they need to, and go nowhere. Plus the third film has one of THE STUPIDEST SCENES I HAVE EVER SEEN IN ANY MOVIE - I'm talking about that bad guy from the Trading Company walking all dramatic and slow as his ship completely explodes all around him. That was SO dumb, SO badly done, and SO ludicrous that I wanted to cry laughing.

And people think Pirates was way better than Spider-Man... SM3 told a story, had dynamic characters, and went somewhere. Pirates 3 had one of the worst writing in recent years, some of the flattest characters, some of the most tedious fights, and didn't wrap up any aspect of the convoluted mess that number 2 was. In fact the third one makes me like the second one more just because that way, I can still pretend that this is going somewhere and not a complete waste of cinematic time.

What I'm really mad about though is less about these movies in specific (although I ranted long enough that it could seem otherwise), but how people suddenly try and defend crap like Pirates 3 because they suddenly believe whatever Johnny Depp touches, it turns into solid gold. Have you seen Secret Window? STUPID STUPID movie. Depp is a good actor, he doesn't have the hand of god. Nothing against Depp. But people rather defend something so crappy because they get some kind of wet dream thinking of one or two people that they like in it, instead of looking at the actual substance, and thus leaving something that actually DOES a good job out in the dust for something stupid like "emo hair"

[Eka 387]

This makes me laugh because it's true. xD

I went to see Pirates 3.

Never saw Spiderman 3. xD

[AarghZombies 0]

I'm not sure I entirely agree with your rant about Pirates, it wasn't all that bad. Three stars at most, I do have a problem that it was about fours days long though.

The main problem with Pirates though was the script. The action was great, the music and special effects great. But things were introduced at the beginning of the film that were needed for the rest of the film that haven't been mentioned before: case in point the Calypso thing. If she's such an important Sea Goddess, why not mention her in the second film, or even the first? (Oh right, you were waiting so see if it made any money... )

Spider-Man 3, for me, was a HUGE disappointment. I loved the first two films, the second one especially. It had real character development, the villain wasn't truly evil, good guy gone bad type thing. Doc Ock was always one of the best villains in the cartoon. And it sets up the venom storyline really well: Jonah Jameson's son being the astronaut who's flight bought it back to Earth, etc. So are we supposed to believe it just randomly dropped out of the sky right next to Peter? That said, the hobgoblin arc was good, the Venom one could have been a lot better:

don't kill him off! If you make any more films, there goes the Carnage storyline...

.

But Sandman was very very boring.

[Gingerlink 2]

agrred, pirates 3 was ok, not great but not that bad either.

Havn't seen spiderman3 , but I'd always got the impression from other people that it was a pretty good film...

[Knockdown 0]

agrred, pirates 3 was ok, not great but not that bad either.

Havn't seen spiderman3 , but I'd always got the impression from other people that it was a pretty good film...

yeah they were both ok wouldn't want too see em again though

[Ryu 7]

all 3 pirates are good xP some parts are really really really stupid though. like when the guy breaks his toe off xD and when....umm......i don't know...

anyway, pirates is:funny, awesome action, great special effects, but a really corny storyline that should be killed!!!

spidey....o...m...g

worst movie EVER!!!!

the only funny part was when he's dancing on the streets and in the place where MJ sings and stuff xD i was dying laughing xD i feel so embarrassed for him xD

yep. thats what i think xP

[Gannon's Biohazard 0]

ok... first off fans didnt expect there to be a 2 hour fight.. i mean yeah it would be great but thats not what upset the fans. Spiderman 3 in no way shape of form can consider itself a contender with the first two films.. story line was horrible, the fights, lets be honest werent that good.... ajnd midway through film peter turns into a total fruit! rumor has it that no spiderman follow ups are planned due to kirsten and toby not wanting to continue with how the story has went. THANK GOD! however, rumors are circulating that a Venom spin off movie is in the works.

as for pirates 3, i liked it, but was still a little dissapointed by the content... depps cracked-out misconceptions of reality werent totally needed but added subtle laughter to the movie. pyrotechnics were great, swort fighting was still very good, and keirra knightley was still drop dead gorgeous, which leads me to my conclusion... pirates 3 was in no way shape or form a total failure.

[Heir_to_Hyrule 0]

ok... first off fans didnt expect there to be a 2 hour fight.. i mean yeah it would be great but thats not what upset the fans. Spiderman 3 in no way shape of form can consider itself a contender with the first two films.. story line was horrible, the fights, lets be honest werent that good.... ajnd midway through film peter turns into a total fruit! rumor has it that no spiderman follow ups are planned due to kirsten and toby not wanting to continue with how the story has went. THANK GOD! however, rumors are circulating that a Venom spin off movie is in the works.

as for pirates 3, i liked it, but was still a little dissapointed by the content... depps cracked-out misconceptions of reality werent totally needed but added subtle laughter to the movie. pyrotechnics were great, swort fighting was still very good, and keirra knightley was still drop dead gorgeous, which leads me to my conclusion... pirates 3 was in no way shape or form a total failure.

I'd say Pirates 3 was QUITE a failure... and for one reason - IT DIDN'T HAVE A STORY

[Gannon's Biohazard 0]

I'd say Pirates 3 was QUITE a failure... and for one reason - IT DIDN'T HAVE A STORY

it did havea story line , im guessing your just not one of the types that like love stories, or somehing... but in any case i will admit that it seemed to drift ogg the subject a little too much, but there was a story line there....

[Heir_to_Hyrule 0]

it did havea story line , im guessing your just not one of the types that like love stories, or somehing... but in any case i will admit that it seemed to drift ogg the subject a little too much, but there was a story line there....

Oh then please tell it to me...

Describe to me how nearly every character changed their motivation at least three times within the film. Explain to me what the point was of mistaking Elizabeth as Calipso (despite never being mentioned again). Explain to me the COMPLETELY RANDOM SHIFT in the witch/Calipso person from the second film as being a creepy woman willing to help them, to suddenly being super-depressed wanting to kill them all.

And explain to me the brilliant reasoning to make every character unlikable. The only one who was written at least DECENTLY was Norrington.

Strip away the glits and glamor of 30-minute long fight scenes (that are the most tedious things to watch a second time) and the inclusion of Johnny Depp doing the EXACT SAME THING FOR THREE MOVIES, and you have a movie that fails at the one basic thing a movie needs to do - tell a story. There was horrible writing, flat characters, and no real level of wit.

And I don't mind a good love story. But Hell, the two minutes between Aragorn and Arwen in Fellowship of the Ring was more powerful and more compelling than the love story in this film. The first Pirates was solid. It was simple, it was fun, it wasn't great, but it worked. The second STARTED on a good note... but went straight to hell

[Ryu 7]

ahem.

Pirates ROCKS. Except it's REALLY corny when They prupose in the middle of the biggest battle ever, and while they're standing there talking the bad guys completly ignore them =P

other than that it ROCKS

[Heir_to_Hyrule 0]

ahem.

Pirates ROCKS. Except it's REALLY corny when They prupose in the middle of the biggest battle ever, and while they're standing there talking the bad guys completly ignore them =P

other than that it ROCKS

wow...if that's your entire argument, that was QUITE a fail

you sir have bad taste

[Padraig! 103]

wow...if that's your entire argument, that was QUITE a fail

you sir have bad taste

I agree.