Ashore the Unknown Isle

6 posts in this topic

Posted

After reading multiple FanFics on this site, I decided to make an account and post a FanFic of my own that those stories inspired me to write. This is my first one so please don't rip it apart too badly. The beginning is meant to keep the readers in the dark.

Prologue

The winds were blowing hard in the day that looked like night. The clouds were so dark that one could hardly tell what time of day it was. A large ship was sailing across the ocean on this horrible day as waves were slamming up against its haul, as its passengers were being rocked back and forth within their rooms. But one man did not even care about the weather, he stood at the rail of the boat and watched the waves form and hit the ship. His red cape waved violently behind him as he continued to survey the battle that raged on between the ship and the storm. One man came up from the captain

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Posted

hmmm... interesting... works well for a prologue, but I'd like to see more before I determine whether I like this or not. Good details, though.

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Posted

here is the first chapter of my story. i will post new chapters about once a week. however if some1 can guess who and where the man is before the next 2 chapters i will write and post the next 4 chapters that week. plz comment

Chapter 1

The waves beat innocently on the beach; hiding the destructive power they exhibited during the night. The sun shined brightly down also hiding the storm that had raged only hours before. A group of travelers were traveling the beach, examining its beauty and learning of its history.

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Posted

sorry i didnt get this 1 out when i said life got in the way but with that aside here is my next chapter plz comment want to know if people think its a good story

Chapter 2

The man looked around some more at all the signs that were up, not one could he read. But with each sign was a picture that he could understand. He saw a picture of a target and quickly deduced it was a place for target practice. The door near it has a symbol of a drink glass above, so he guess out it was the bar of the town.

He walked around town a couple times doing his best to figure out each sign, the ones he couldn't figure out he tried walking in to learn by talking to the people inside. However, he was attacked on sight when he walked into the place where people were practicing their swordplay. Apparently they believed he was a training partner because of the sword he carried, but after he defended himself we was quickly kicked out by the master.

After a couple more mishaps similar to this, one where he ended up winning five emeralds in a little game, he managed to walk into the town shop.

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Posted

Pretty good. You need to be careful on the speaking parts. Try to make it seem like there's actually a person speaking, not a narrator.

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Posted

Good so far...do go on.

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