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Making Friends

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Posted

So, uh, for the past like, year or so I've been really reclusive. I rarely leave my apartment save for the daily bike ride and occasional dog walk, but I really want to get out there and get some physical goods. Friends.

 

It's been a long time since I've had a real friend (other than my girlfriend). When I was homeless, people I had trusted had completely used me and took everything I had, so I'm not exactly very trusting.

 

I'm really rusty when it comes to making friends because of this. Does anybody have any tips for getting over such things? Where would one go to find friends as a young adult?

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Posted

What sort of town do you live in? What are your interests? I guess you could try looking into like social clubs or something. Things which, if they didn't work out or if you don't get on with the people there, you can just leave.

 

I don't really know how I made friends. The last time I made a friend of my own accord was about 8 years ago. Otherwise I've either just been put in the path of people through mutual friends, or from other people approaching me in university and whatnot. Sometimes it just takes one connection to make a dozen others like that.

 

I have a modest group of friends, though I'm not exactly as close to my friends as some people seem to be with theirs. I kind of just get on with people, but I rarely take those connections home with me. I only really feel connected when I'm with the person, apart from some rare cases. This is why I don't really enjoy online chatting or Skype calls.

T1g likes this

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Posted

I live in a small town and there's not a lot of happening joints around here. It's just two busy streets intersecting and that's the town. There's a library, but it's not like the library i used to hang out at in my old town. It's strict and dead silent, not really a social place.

 

There's a huuuge city in walking distance, but it's full of gang activity, and I'm way too pretty to be going there alone.

 

Ho hum.

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Posted

How old are you? Maybe you could trawl social media looking for friends. Honestly it seems a bit bizarre almost, but it's not a bad idea to just find people online. I know a friend of mine found her friend group by checking some little message board her college set up, and she ended up hanging out with people from some other course for the majority of her time there.

 

You could just wander around the web, stalking places relevant to your town, until you find someone who runs DnD campaigns or something, maybe. Carefully decide whether they're a potential rapist or not, and then see if you can get an in? Your town probably has a Facebook group. There could be other people there. You could even be someone posting there, seeing what's going on.

 

All easier said than done, but it's a start at some advice I guess.

 

People on Twitter might even be posting stuff with like #YourTownHere. Do some stalking maybe. Desperation is pretty human, and if you meet a cool person when you're putting yourself out there like that, there's a good chance at a decent friendship there. Most of my friendships I got from being passively introduced. I don't know what kind of friendship I'd have if it started off with me using my own initiative, and having to force confidence. Maybe it'd set a good tone for the friendship.

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Posted

i guess yeah. ugh, i dont know how people can stand these shitty suburbian hellscapes. its so boring and there's nobody here...

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Posted

What are your prospects of moving out? And is your nearest city really that criminally inclined? The way I see it, everywhere has a rough or seedy element, but there are always ways to avoid it (though you might have to be well off for that).

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Posted

That city happens to be Detroit if that explains anything.

 

And me and the girlie are planning on moving to a nicer place in a city environment if we can find one.

SilverAlchemic likes this

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Posted

Don't know how else I can help you out there then. I've offered about as much advice as I know how to give. I also only vaguely know the name Detroit. There's something kind of hard about that word which has connotations of a bit of a tough place, but I don't know why. Maybe one day I'll visit the USA. I'd like to sometime. Hey ho.

SilverAlchemic likes this

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Posted

Detroit is the murder capital of the USA and shifts places with Flint often, both which are in my state.

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Posted

The social club thing is super good advice. Its how i made many friends and also developed social skills

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Posted

Please dont take this as an attack on you personally but when you make threads such as "THAT'S SOME REAL puppyING BULLSHIT!" and "The Naruto Hate Club" its shows a lot about your character. Which appears to be negative constantly all the time. I mean, im that way a lot too and i struggle with being a straight up hater lol. But maybe if you didn't just hate and complain constantly, people might be more open to being your friend? Like, Teto is trying to give you advice and every step you're like "nope not gonna even consider trying it!" It's a little exhausting to have a conversation with you. I dunno if your online habits match up with your real self, but maybe just try to take an interest in something or someone new? Nobody is gonna agree with every opinion you have, but friendships begin and endure with compromise. Share your interests, let other's share theirs, and then dont talk shit about what gets them hyped. 

LLmao ?✊? and T1g like this

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Posted

It's hard to put yourself out there. Admitting your loneliness and reaching out for advice is hard enough. Being open and vulnerable is harder to do the less you do it, and I guess sometimes advice has value beyond the information conveyed. It's just a support thing, for when people feel emotionally insecure and want that security. Maybe I assume too much, but that's how it seems to me. It annoys me a little when people criticise others for not taking advice, when advice isn't always just a statement of necessary procedure.

T1g and Cirt like this

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Posted

yeah, i guess my personality is pretty atrocious. maybe being alone would be better so i dont hurt nobody

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Posted

yeah, i guess my personality is pretty atrocious. maybe being alone would be better so i dont hurt nobody

You are cool and smart. I think youre just cynical, which is a natural reaction to persistent boredom or misery.

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Posted

i can guarantee i am not smart at all, i couldnt math my way out of a cardboard box. hell, middle school math trips me up but thats besides the  point.

 

idk if im even ready to make friends right now, but i really would like people to go to the mall with and shop for gurren lagann figurines with and maybe grab a cuppa coffee or something, but i guess my personality would turn a lot of people off. idk how to change that, so

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