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Yet Another Zelda Fan Fiction

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Posted

Don't worry.

I haven't updated this since like last year.

And my current chapter is still being written.

And I haven't worked on it in :/

Anyway, just cheer up.

I'm sure yours is p. coolio.

Sahaqiel

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Posted

So, I finished chapter three.

epona is still in termina.

heartbreak. :(

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Posted

Chapter 3: For Old Time's Sake

There seemed to be a few cats, too.

yes, there seemed to be a few cats. Link observed his grammatical error. seemingly cats? what an absurd thought. of course they were cats...weren't they? Just then, link realized the seemingly cats were actually ganon in disguise. of course!, he though, it all makes sense now! of course ganon is a cat! Link wasted no time in letting out a loud barbaric war cry, shedding his cloak instantaneously, and unsheathing the mastersword from his back. he took off in a full sprint in a deadly, bloody line drive to the cats that were obviously luring the children into their evil catly lair to rape them with fire into being slaves of ganon. This thought only drove him to messily mutilate and massacre every cat, kitten, and pussy he could see, smell, hear, feel, or taste. small heads trailed red as they flew off in an arch, only to be followed by the other assorted body parts in tow. The Hyrule Royal guard, when they caught wind of Link's heroic campaign against ganon(again), decided that this time the best course of action was, for some reason, to try and stop him. As Link was wiping up the last few playful shadow-covered egyptian sunworship balls of adorable satan, he turned and saw a wall of aquamarine square shields, jutting with spears and a halberd here and there. his influence is spreading! he thought. there's no hope for these poor souls. if only there were a way to turn them back. but he knew it was no use. one by one, he cut down the oppressful walls erected by ganon himself. he observed that killing tainted soldiers was not much different than killing tainted kittens. their heads still flew off when he chopped at them with the master sword. soldiers still ran in the same hysterical fear for their "lives." if he lifted crates and moved jars, he would still find them bunched together crouched behind each other. I suppose its all the same, he decided, and killed all the townsfolk, too. Oh yes, he killed and killed and killed. He would not let Ganon would not hurt the remaining innocent townsfolk. He cringed as the pretend-children screamed in convincing shrills, but the fact that he was a hero drove him to continue to mutilate their bleeding corpses. Eventually, the entire town was emptied of it's sin. Link stood in the middle of the red square, atop the fountain, twisting himself in circles to observe all the good he had done. and in such a short period of time, too! But the fifth time he rotated, he stopped 90 degrees off where he had started. he stared down the road and through the lowered drawbridge to see minions fleeing on foot and hoof. they're not even worrying about their tracks. It will be a synch to hunt them down and finish the job. Right now isn't the time to worry about the grunts in ganon's army, he thought. Link had to hurry to hyrule castle and warn the princess. If the guard here had been tainted, what about in the castle?

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Posted

Interesting twist off of chapter three... It would probably be better if you eased up on the sugar before trying to do a critique. You get a little too spirited and write crazy spin-offs, otherwise.

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Posted

Also, Link is using the Great Fairy's Sword in this fiction.

The Master Sword's in the Temple of Time.

Sahaqiel

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Posted

it was a joke, saha.

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Posted

I know it was a joke.

But you were DOING IT WRONG.

Sahaqiel

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Posted

How do you even do a joke wrong?

playful shadow-covered egyptian sunworship balls of adorable satan

I like this description of kittens.

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