Savanti Romero's in the seats

[Otis McNutt 395]

Review #1: Hanrooster

Will Smith has a most unusual nickname, Mr. July. He got 5his nickname on account of the vast number of hits that he's been a part of which were released in July, and Hanrooster is no dirrerent.

Hanrooster tells the story of a homeless, alcoholic man who just happens to be a superhero. He should have an adoring public but he doesn't, the people are fed up with his "heroics" which end up causing more harm than good. Ray (Jason Bateman) is a PR guy whose mission it is to save the world. He gets stuck in a traffic jam on some train tracks and just when all hope seems lost Hanrooster arrives and taps ever so lightly on the hood, then tosses the car end over end where in lands on the roof of another car. He then gets hit head on by the train, the sudden stop causes every train car to jump the track. The drivers of all the other cars get out to complain to Hanrooster about how useless he is until Ray comes to his defence. "I could have died right here, I get to go to my family." Ray says. After giving Ray a lift home (And I do mean LIFT) Hanrooster meets Ray's Family, His Wife Mary and heir son Aaron. Aaron takes to Hanrooster like a new friend but Mary doesn't like or trust him. With Ray's help (and a two week stay in prison) Hanrooster transforms into a superhero right out of the comics even donning a black leather outfit like the movie X-Men's Wolverine. The "New" Hanrooster assists the police in defeating a group of bank robbers who have taken hostages which have pounds of C4 wrapped around them. Hanrooster defeats all in a flash except for their leader who holds the detinator or "dead man's switch" proclaming "If my thumb leaves this switch, you'll be picking up these kind people with a mop!" Hanrooster used a decorative metal lampshade as a makeshift razor disk instantly slicing the villains hand off.

Later at a celebatory diner we learn that Mary isn't Aarons mother, she died in child birth leaving Ray to raise the boy alone, but as he believes his late wife sent Mary to help him. We also learn about Hanrooster. Ray question's Hanrooster's origin "You re an alien right?" he asked but Hanrooster says he's not he can't even remember but he knows he was from Miami. In Miami Hanrooster was rushed into an ER with a collapsed skull, amazingly it healed and needles didn't puncture the skin, nobody came to claim him and when he was released the nurse asked him for his "John Hanrooster" (slang for signature, after John Hanrooster one of the first signers of the American Declaration of Independance) and the name stuck. Ray at a loss asks why it was never in the papers Hanrooster says it probably was but it was 80 years earlier. After a hard night of celebrating only Ray appears to be drunk and passes out in bed. Hanrooster and Mary stay up and talk. Hanrooster feels a connection to Mary but can't explain it he leans in to kiss her and she tosses him crashing through the kitchen window 30 feet into a neighboors car. To make a long review much less long Hanrooster and Mary are the last two of their kind (in ancient times they were the greek gods then guardian angels now superheroes) the rest paired up and became mortal. Great action and a few suprises abound in this unconventional take of the "Superhero" Genre of films. But swears and violence including gun battles and the shoving of one mans head up another mans butt, make it defenatly NOT for kids, they should see WALL*E insted.

Edited 21 Jul 2008 by Savanti Romero (see edit history)

[Otis McNutt 395]

Review #2: Hellboy 2 The Golden Army

Hellboy 2 Tells the story of a group of amazing individuals who fight monsters and other supernatural threats. the BPRD (Bureau of Paranormal research and defence) team consists of Hellboy (a super-strong demon) Liz (His pyrokenetic girlfriend) and Abe Sapien (a fish guy who is Psychic). This movie is great, although the young hellboy scene in the begining is cringeworthy the amazing storyline and stunning visuials put number 1 to shame. Much like director Del Toro's "Pan's Labrynth" The costume effects will certainly merit an academy award for costumes.

[Otis McNutt 395]

Review #3: The Dark Knight

In "Dark Knight" Batman has been waging his war for some time. He has the mob on the rocks and new district attorney Harvey Dent plans on putting the final nail in the coffin. So in desperation the mobs hire Arkham escape (See Batman Begins) the Joker. Joker is a sadistic madman who wears white face makeup with dark circles around the eyes and a smile carved into his cheeks. His story of how it happend changes to reflect the changing history of his characters comic origin. Joker hatches plan after plan in order to lure Batman in. To fully experience this masterpiece you have to see it, in IMAX if available. Heath Ledgers Joker easily surpases previous incarnations, only Mark Hamil's animated joker has a better laugh. this movie is a 10 for plot, 10 for acting, 10 for effects and 10 for general asskickery! And the suprise inclusion of another of Batman's Rogue's gallery member will have you squirming in your seat for more. But don't drink anything, at 2 1/2 hours the bladder could get really full.

[Odin 0]

Heath Ledger was amazing as the Joker. You almost believe he's really a homicidal psycho, it's creepy. good reveiw.

I wanna see the other two.

[DR SHRUBBERY! 1095]

hellboy was kickass!

[Otis McNutt 395]

Number 4: Star Wars: The Clone Wars!!!

OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE WAS HORRIBLE!!!!

From the moment the WB logo flashed across the screen I knew it was gonna suck. I mean it didn't have an opening crawl, every Star Wars movie needs that it's tradition! I can't believe I'm saying this but ENOUGH OF THE PREQUELS GEORGE, GIVE US THE THRAWN TRILOGY!!!!!

[Otis McNutt 395]

Review #5: The Rocker

After being dumped by his band Vesuvius in 1986, Robert "Fish" Fishman not only coasts through life with a string of mind numbing jobs, he holds a massive grudge on his former band mates who 20 years later have numerious platinum records. After being fired and getting kicked out by his girlfriend Fish decides to crash at his sisters place. While he's there he fills in for his nephews bands drummer who was expelled for selling pot brownies at a school bakesale. The band soon becomes a hit after an internet video on Youtube gets 1,000,000 hits. Hilarious antics abound in this comedy about following your dreams no matter what. So if your over 13 or with an adult go see "The Rocker"!

Next Week Vin Diesel's Action extravaganza "Babylon A.D.".

[eyeoftruth 2]

I wanna see batman.

[Otis McNutt 395]

I wanna see batman.

You should it's AMAZING!!!

Here's a bonus review.

Bonus Review #1: Tropic Thunder

Tropic Thunder tells the tale of a group of actors, all of which are amazingly self centered. When the Vietnam War era movie they're filming is in jeopardy the director (along with the hook handed movies author) decides to drop the actors in the jungle and shoot the movie guerrilla style. But things don't go quite as planned. Tropic Thunder has it all. Action, Comedy, "Drama" and a scene where a guy bites a Water Buffalo. So if you are over 17 or with an adult enjoy "Tropic Thunder".

[Koltem 0]

Interesting. I heard Clone Wars wasn't good somewhere...

[Otis McNutt 395]

Review #6: Babylon A.D.

In the not to distant future, the world is on the verge of complete destruction. The sky is choked with satellites that monitor everything. Automated attack drone aircraft patrol the American borders with heavy machine guns and missile launchers and shoot anything that moves. In a ruined former soviet block country a mercenary named Toogop (Vin Diesel) is just trying to live his crappy life. But an associate from his past brings him back with an enticing offer "A legal passport (which in this future of rampant terrorism and global warming is far from a piece of paper with your picture) to get back home to New York" All he has to do is deliver a girl to a certain group of people...That's where the summer movie popcorn action begins!!!! This movie was awesome, but also a little bit hokey at times.

[DR SHRUBBERY! 1095]

Number 4: Star Wars: The Clone Wars!!!

OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE WAS HORRIBLE!!!!

From the moment the WB logo flashed across the screen I knew it was gonna suck. I mean it didn't have an opening crawl, every Star Wars movie needs that it's tradition! I can't believe I'm saying this but ENOUGH OF THE PREQUELS GEORGE, GIVE US THE THRAWN TRILOGY!!!!!

i dont see what everyones problem is with this movie

yea it was a bit suckish, but it was still a little bit enjoyable

and the battle droids were funny

"direct your fire at point 74129"

"roger roger! 7136... what was that again?"

"ugh. there! shoot there!"

at least i enjoyed it

[Koltem 0]

hm, well I'm gonna go mastur....master sword somebody, so I think I'll log off.

[Otis McNutt 395]

i dont see what everyones problem is with this movie

yea it was a bit suckish, but it was still a little bit enjoyable

and the battle droids were funny

"direct your fire at point 74129"

"roger roger! 7136... what was that again?"

"ugh. there! shoot there!"

at least i enjoyed it

The battledroid stuff is completely annoying! This "movie" had no business being released in theaters, It's a glorified Tv show pilot! Besides we all know what's gonna happen to his padawan, she'll die along with the rest of the jedi when Anakin goes to the Darkside as part of the purge. give us 7,8 and 9 George!!!!!

[Otis McNutt 395]

Bonus Review #2: Balls of Fury (now on cable)

In 1988, Randy Daytona was the youngest competetor in the olympics in Ping Pong. After losing the match to a German (and his father to Triad thugs) Randy retires. in 2007 he works as an entertainer in Reno Nevada. After an unfortunate accident (he kills a buffet/show patron via pong induced heart attack.) Randy is approached vy the FBI, International smuggler Feng love Pong, and he holds a tournament every 5 years to see eho is best. Randy will go in under cover and discover what Feng is planning. But retirement has made him weak. So the FBI bring him to see Wong a blind pong master in China Town. Agianst orders from "The Dragon" Wong and his smokin hot niece Maggie (whose father Like Randy's was killed by Feng) break tradition and teach Randy. Randy gets his game back and heads to Feng's compound in Central America, to win his tournament and take him down.