Rate My joke

[Complete Prick 0]

the rate my ...games are quite popular so i thought id make a joke one

Why Did Humpty dumpty push his sister off the wall he wanted to see her crack

[DorkLink 0]

So I walked into a bar the other day...

...it hurt.

[Complete Prick 0]

pretty poor DORK link

the joke in the spoiler should not be viewed by 5 year olds an that it is a rude joke

whats the difference between your wife ...eggs and a blowjob?

you cant beat a blowjob lool

[Du5t1n 57]

[Ari 0]

why do u never go hungry in the desert???

becuz of all the sandwiches (sand which is) there! ha ha he he

until just now i thought it meant that there were witches who lived in the desert that conjured up food

ive also got a good cheerleader one but ill put it in a spoiler in case someones sensitive or you dont like crude jokes

how do you know a cheerleader is having a bad day?

if she has a tampon behind her ear and she's looking for her pencil

[Fierce Muffin 490]

Horrible.

Who are the fastest readers in world history?

World Trade Center employees. They can go through 30 stories in 10 seconds.

AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA. Oh, damn.

[Koltem 0]

Music is like candy, throw out the rappers.

[The Minish Link 1]

Shouldn't we be rating these?

[Negation 1]

A man and his friend are out hunting one day, when his friend is bitten on his rear end by a rattlesnake. So, the man runs to the nearest doctor, seeking help. When he get's there, the doctor is helping a woman give birth, so he tells the man "suck the poison out of the wound." So he gets back to his friend, who asks "what did the doctor say?"

"He says you're going to die."

OH, HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. Would you suck the poison out of somebody's ass?

Also, FM's joke, 5/5.

[Fierce Muffin 490]

Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

The police, we're here to tell you that your wife has just died in a car accident, along with her were your two children, both with severe wounds which will most likely cause them to die in a matter of minutes, we're sorry for your loss.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA. Gets me every time.

[Teto 2609]

So, a boy is born without legs, or arms and in fact, he's just a head!

So. This boy grows up as a head from the day he's born and it's finally his 18th birthday and he goes out with his dad to the pub to have his first pint of beer.

So he takes a sip and Pop! Out comes his torso. Everybody looks at him in shock and start saying. 'Go on take another sip!'

So he takes another couple of sips and, what do you know? His arms and legs pop out as well!

So, in his excitement, He runs out of the pub and onto the road.

But, Bam! He's hit, stone dead by a truck.

And the Barman says to the boys dad.

'You know. That boy should have quit while he was ahead.'

[The Minish Link 1]

Knock-Knock.

Who's there?

The police, we're here to tell you that your wife has just died in a car accident, along with her were your two children, both with severe wounds which will most likely cause them to die in a matter of minutes, we're sorry for your loss.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA. Gets me every time.

FM's Joke: 0/5. Yeah.

Bathykolpian's Joke: 2/5.

[Teto 2609]

Why 2? Because it's a pun? No more no less?

Two zebras pondering

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white

stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't

know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did

and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other

zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are

what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black

stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."

Maybe a bit racist, but I don't think so.

[The Minish Link 1]

4/5.

[Teto 2609]

A Really Bad Day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."