Funny

[Xylobe 0]

102 Fun Things to do at Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at

strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in

housewares," and see what happens.

11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full

blast.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if

they play along.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear,

"Who buys this crap anyway?!"

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they

leave the store.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"

20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy

it there say "Hmmmm....I thought the customer was always right!"

21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you will only invite them in if they

bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin,

to the Batcave."

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and say, "Why won't you people just

leave me alone?"

30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."

31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)

32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men

33. Take bets on the battle from above.

34. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk where the

anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: Marco Polo.

43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.

45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with

it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to your knees and scream, "No, no,

its those voices again."

49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink,

and explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. Follow a person around the store. Drop random things in their cart when they aren't

looking.

52. Walk up to people that are shopping alone and say "You're one of them!" then back away

slowly.

53. Try to run people over with the bikes.

54. When you hit someone from doing #53 explain you were practicing for when you get you

license.

55. Pick out a toy then walk up to someone you don't even know and start begging for it.

56. Play kick ball. The bigger the ball the better.

57. Pull anything you have out of your pocket, walk up to someone and ask them is they are

hungry.

58. Claim an entire isle as your "domain"

59. Charge people to enter your "domain"

60. If an employee asks if you need help talk to them in a foreign language. If you don't

know any talk gibberish.

61. Switch kids to different shopping carts.

62. Run threw the halls yelling "THE BRITISH ARE COMING!"

63. Hide all the keys from the paddle locks.

64. Drag a chair over to lawn and garden and place it on a table. Sit on the chair and order

people bow down before their king/queen.

65. Take a soda from someone's cart, shake it up, and put it back before they look back.

66. Make it your goal to shake up all the sodas in the soda isle.

67. Spinney chair races. ~Extra points if you crash into someone.

68. Carry around a can of air freshener, spray people and say "You have now been initiated"

69. Go to the female underwear section and advertise "Victoria's secret: the scratch and

sniff bra"

70. Have conversation with plants

71. When asked what you are doing reply with "talking to the plants" as if they were the

crazy one.

72. Do the same with the fish

73. Sing along badly to songs that are playing on the radios.

74. Put on as many shirts as you can from the clothing section.

75. Transport all the mustard to the shoes section.

76. Every time an announcement comes over the loud speak dive to the ground yelling "IT'S THE

RUSSIAN!"

77. Take a doll hostage and climb to the top of a shelf like King Kong.

78. Place a toy (care bear, doll, cabbage patch kid) on a chair then stand in front of it

with a bat. Swing at anyone that walks by.

79. Take a beanbag chair and watch TV in the gaming sections.

80. Be an announcer ("and the blond girl with the little kid takes the lead!")

81. Try to sell a bra to a guy.

82. Switch items in carts.

83. Playing bowling with food.

84. Get something stuck on your wrist and then go whining to one of employees that you can't

get it off.

85. Buy a fruit to return it minutes later and complain just to hold up the line.

86. Get in a staring contest with the fish.

87. Tackle random people yelling "I WONT LET THEM TAKE YOU AGAIN!"

88. When asked what you were doing say something like "The aliens took you away! They won't

get you again!"

89. Turn a light on and off looking mesmerized.

90. Ask to test drive the electronic scooters.

91. When your total is run up slap the cashier and stomp off regardless of the gender.

92. Get a blanket from bed and bath and run threw out the store saving people from overpriced

goods.

93. Take an out of order sign and move it to the electric sliding doors.

94. Leave a trail of cheetos where ever you go.

95. When asked what your doing explain that you are leaving a trail so you don't get lost

96. Come back every 5 minutes for food samples

97. When discover run away screaming.

98. Lay in the middle of the floor so people can't get around you.

99. Sample all the grapes in a bag

100. go to bed and bath and have a pillow fight

101. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.

102. Attempt to do all of the above in the same visit, without getting kicked out.

Edited 12 Oct 2008 by Frahugganiffle (see edit history)

[Umbreon 0]

I think 102's the best!

[Knockdown 0]

You should add "Go to the electronic part of a store and turn all the Tv's volume up to 100" lol

[Skippy 82]

umm, 1. this is actually old

2. Most of these will get you kicked out, and some will result in a lifetime ban from that store.....don't ask me how I know

[Teto 2609]

I wish there was a Wal-Mart in Scotland. Oh well, we'll always have Tesco.

[Skippy 82]

Yeah, it doesn't have to be wal mart, just any large discount store. It's the mot fun when t's incredibly busy, or at 2 in the morning, either way

[Teto 2609]

How many huge shops like that are there in America?

Britain's best are Tesco and Asda. Everyone makes fun of Tesco value stuff. I'm not sure if ASDA is actually British or not.

Edited 13 Oct 2008 by Teto (see edit history)

[LDGM 0]

How many huge shops like that are there in America?

Britain's best are Tesco and Asda. Everyone makes fun of Tesco value stuff. I'm not sure if ASDA is actually British or not.

Asda is part of the wal-mart family.

anyway. everyone knows Netto Owns

[Teto 2609]

Yeah, I though ASDA was part of Wal-Mart. I just wasn't sure.

[LDGM 0]

Yeah, I though ASDA was part of Wal-Mart. I just wasn't sure.

wal mart bought asda.

jamie oliver works for sainsbury's

netto has no central heating, toilets or in-date foods...

And it's german

[Teto 2609]

So's Lidl. But they're a bunch of slave drivers.

[LDGM 0]

Lidl and Aldi are run by two brothers.

[Teto 2609]

I have no idea how you found that out, nor do I care.

Were you at school today? Or are you on holiday? I am.

[LDGM 0]

Were you at school today? Or are you on holiday? I am.

a. keep on topic, take non-related posts to talk

B. "i am not on holiday, nor do i care"

Edited 13 Oct 2008 by LDGM (see edit history)

[Teto 2609]

I would go to talk if I wasn't the most recent poster.

Anyway. I go to Tesco for lunch pretty much every day at school. It's a wonderland of rubbish.