What to do? (Help)

[Adr990 2]

This is a serious question.

I'm fallen in totally love.

Of course, I should handle this my self...

But I want a advice...

She is 8 year older than me. (Don't go crazy at me yet!)

But I really do have feelings for her.

Every one else who I asked who liked her said:

She is so hot and all that kind of poo.

Well, of course, she is beautiful.

But I'm not like I want to go to bed with her after a first meating or such... :/

I mean... I'm not like that first of all. And secondly I don't image about that if I think about her..

Also, I some times image that she goes with a random guy and kiss him etc.

And also that she will do this with more other guys. (like a woman that haves sex for money you know.)

It hurts me insanely much! - either if other guys saying like 'she is so hot see that "..." - you know :/

I sure want to know her better.

I feel two things:

That I'm crazy. (Because she is 5+ year older than me.) Though, my uncle and aunt have a around a 10 years age different too. (my uncle is younger and my aunt is older.)

And I love her so badly... I nearly can't stop think about her. And feel about her.

===

So...

How should I bring / tell it to her?

Or what should I do to stop my self from... loving her?

Thanks,

Adr990 (Needs serious help.)

[Vadarth X 0]

First of all, this should be in the "Serious/Relationships/etc." forum.

Second, you and her exact ages are actually very important. Ex: If you were 10 and she was 18, well, the problem there is obvious. But I doubt that that's the exact case.

Third, what does she think of you? How does she act around you? This is extremely important. Also, how long have you known her and she known you? And how many times have you two hung out or talked, whether in person, on the phone, online, etc.

Fourth, do you see/know of many guys being around her?

Fifth, is she in college, have a job, house, etc.?

Sixth: you say "But I'm not like I want to go to bed with her after a first meating or such... :/

I mean... I'm not like that first of all. And secondly I don't image about that if I think about her.." That is not true, and trust me, I know; EVERY guy thinks about having sex with girls, especially ones they feel this much about. Now I know what you're trying to say: "I love her for her personality, not her looks." Now while that may be true, the problem is, it's extremely hard to tell. I have a pretty good way of telling, but it's not a good idea for me to ask you it at this stage, so forget this sentence for now. So then, what you must do is figure out how much of what you're feeling is sexual hormones and love. A good way of doing that is (do not look ahead unless you are very mature/over 18...oh, who am I kidding? You'll all look anyway):

masturbating, then hanging out around her.

That gets rid of a lot (if not all) of the sexual urges to "mate", so you'll be able to then see how you truly feel about her.

Seventh...actually, that's all I got for now.

Answer all of these and I might be able to give you an analysis of what might be the case here, as in what you should do, how she might feel. As you can see, there are many variables.

[Grandmaster Phoenix 26]

I was gonna say something very rude and funny, but I'm not going to.

Think before you do. Really, think this one over. When you are 30, shes gonna be almost 40.

[Vadarth X 0]

Think before you do. Really, think this one over. When you are 30, shes gonna be almost 40.

If you really love someone, that does not matter. Although it will be annoying.

Edited 8 Jun 2009 by Vadarth X (see edit history)

[Teto 2609]

Think before you do. Really, think this one over. When you are 30, shes gonna be almost 40.

My friend has parents with an age difference of 10.

His name is Padraig.

Age isn't an issue as much as gender isn't an issue.

[Vio Milanor 28]

To tell the truth... I honestly think you're confusing love for an attraction. I don't believe you could truly love a person without getting to know them.

The advice I could suggest though... Is to get to know them. Ask this woman if she would allow your presence and all this crap. You can mentally visualize whatever you want, but don't take it all to seriously since you don't know the woman yet. Now, don't immediately go for whatever it is we say. This is YOUR relationship, so the decision is yours alone. All we can do is provide a little assistance, assistance you shouldn't rely on.

Don't act cool or none of that crap... Just act like you normally would. Even if you make the woman like you with a lie, it's only going to come and bite you in the arse later. She'll have to find out at some point or you'll just live with that until the end. Assuming anything does happen, of course.

Even though she is much older than you, age isn't a roadblock for love. Know though, this wouldn't be your relationship alone... It would also belong to her. So if she's not interested, you'll have to give up.

I dunno, I might come back and edit this later... It doesn't feel complete.

Edited 8 Jun 2009 by Vio Milanor (see edit history)

[Aethix 129]

Well, I don't know what the social conventions are in Holland, but if you're 15 like your profile says and she's 23, that is quite an age gap.

But if you don't know her that well yet, then what you're feeling is infatuation, not love. You have to know someone before you really love her.

[Du5t1n 57]

I suggest getting to know her better... spend a lot of time together. Even if you don't get together you can have a lot of fun and be close friends.

People really over stigmatize age differences much like gender and even sex itself. We are all animals yet we overcomplicate our most basic drives for sex, relationships, feelings of closeness and safety... People let cultural taboos get in the way of relationships and love too much. 'What will everyone think if I date ____X____', where X is someone of the same gender, another race, a big age gap, an ugly person, a poor person, etc etc.

Anyways, get to know her more, get closer and spend time together. It's better to try though. Live without regrets!

How do you think she would react? Do you think she has feelings too? Are you around each other much? Good luck and keep us updated.

Edited 9 Jun 2009 by Dustin (see edit history)