I Hate This.

[Teto 2609]

So, I'm sure you all know I'm gay, but since then I've had awfully mixed feelings for some reason. Sometimes I'm happy, hyper and generally flamboyant, glad to have figured it all out. Then, sometimes, I worry about what others might think and it just makes me feel horribly depressed somewhat until I just sit and do nothing but sigh and brood. Then there's the middle feeling; I'm feeling pretty content and enjoying things, then I feel a horrible feeling for a split second, making me feel somewhat ill. The weight soon lifts off, but I feel close to tears, but not depressed like some of the time. I really want to find a way to make myself feel happy all the time, but no matter what, there's no sure-fire way to control the feelings and all I can do is hope I manage to stay in my emotional high for long enough and enjoy it before I'm dragged back down again.

I'm sure it will all blow over though, it's just the worst thing I've ever felt. I've been accidentally parked on by a late-braking quad bike after falling and rolling several feet from my own one, resulting in a broken bone, and I feel like that pain would be welcome at a time like this; this is all just so random and drawn-out.

Edited 16 Jun 2009 by Rain (see edit history)

[Fierce Muffin 490]

I remember feeling like this before.

No, wait, that was you.

Nevermind.

[Arcane 12]

Hmm.... I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like you're going a bit bi-polar. I don't really have anything else to say except I'm sorry.

[Du5t1n 57]

^ While symptoms of bipolar, that kind of reaction during this kind of situation doesn't mean that's what it is...

Our cultures are very repressive and are filled with people and religions that tell us that being ourselves is WRONG... that's puppyed up. Being ourselves is RIGHT.

Like you said, it will blow over... just may take time. Just don't run away from it or us. You're not alone and we're here for you.

UPDATE: Crap, I just edited out half of what I said.... yar...

Edited 17 Jun 2009 by Dustin (see edit history)

[Jo-Bengt 0]

What Dustin said. I'm pretty sure it's just a phase, and I agree that everyone has puppyed up fantasies of their own. Just keep going.

[Sahaqiel 1232]

You've got this, Rain.

We believe in you.

Also, I'm just guessing, but I think less than half the forum even knows you're gay.

It shouldn't matter anyway.

Sahaqiel

[Otis McNutt 395]

Welcome to the world of "Accute Bipolar Mania" It's fun and horrible at the same time. But the meds rock. I take this snazzy little pill called Lithium Carbonate, it makes you feel like your floating on a fluffy pink cloud. Seriously messed up folks like us get the best stuff, mood elevators ROCK!!!

Edited 17 Jun 2009 by The Doctor (see edit history)

[Ammonsa 308]

I didn't know that you were gay, but that's what happens when I'm not on for a few days.

I know exactly how you feel. Seriously, the exact same thing is happening to me. I'm hoping it will go away, but until I'm older I can't tell anyone because I know I'll be ostracized and because of that I feel like you do.

I feel for you.

[Du5t1n 57]

You should hang out on the chat, Bond. The gay people tend to collect there.

Other cool people come too.

Edited 17 Jun 2009 by Dustin (see edit history)

[Cirt 612]

What Dustin said. I'm pretty sure it's just a phase, and I agree that everyone has puppyed up fantasies of their own. Just keep going.

olol xD Yes, indeed.

And Rain, you shouldn't feel so bad. When you finally realized you were gay, no one here changed their opinion about you. We all still like you just they same Hopefully that will give you some encouragement in the real world.

As for the mixed emotions, I can imagine it's just still a confusing time. For now, just hang in there~

[Ammonsa 308]

You should hang out on the chat, Bond. The gay people tend to collect there.

Other cool people come too.

I always have problems with chat, I've given up trying to fix it.

Rain, does anyone apart from the people on this site know?

[Du5t1n 57]

I always have problems with chat, I've given up trying to fix it.

Rain, does anyone apart from the people on this site know?

Try http://hyrule.net/chat/mibbit.php

That doesn't use Java so it works for everyone.

[ZuZu 10]

I also didnt know you were gay. haha funny how these things pop up. Yeah. What dustin says. screw society, be yourself. whats the point of copying some one else? without a doubt they are trying to copy some one else too. that will only result in everyone being a copy of a copy of a copy and no one with any uniqueness at all.

Think of your favourite artist (whether musician, writer, painter etc.) did you like them because they were like everyone else or unique? your bad mood will pass. they never last too long.

[Chameleon 0]

What Dustin said. I'm pretty sure it's just a phase, and I agree that everyone has puppyed up fantasies of their own. Just keep going.

Is this saying his sexual preference is a phase?

[ZuZu 10]

not always, but they can be. and either way is fine