Parental Problems

[Shadowknight 54]

I do live near my grandparents, and in fact see them almost every day.

I use the term "good musical taste" very loosely, mainly to mean music that isn't rap or pop, an appreciation for classical music, uses pitch, tone, and rhythm to create something great, and doesn't necessarily sound like everything else (as so much contemporary music is guilty of). She's also not opposed to the indie-music scene, which is often much better than mainstream stuff because small companies give their artists creative freedom to fulfill their passion rather than making them conform to a set sound in order to make money. That's an idea we discussed, too.

[pheonix561 2080]

well personally I like to think theres no such thing as good musical taste, as its all a matter of preference. but I have to admit, you and your friend there have some good musical taste!

[pheonix561 2080]

dont you think maybe you should give that back to japan? and that doesnt mean you have to dislike japanese, just because we had a war with them.

[pheonix561 2080]

its depends on the context in which you do it. if after your sentence, you say, "if you have some way of identifying this person, and asking his/her family what they want to do with it, that'd be nice," then it would be a good thing. but if you say "HAHA WANNA TRY AGAIN?" thats pretty dirty.

[Max 10]

puppy authority. date her. You're parents prolly think that Obama's a Muslim terrorist that was born in Indonesia and plans to bring his terrorist pals into the country to destroy it, too. You scored an Asian chick. Consider yourself lucky. lol

[Gael 1]

How old are you, Shadowknight? I've been in a similar boat before; I had a boyfriend when I was 17 going on 18, and my parents would not let us go out. Mostly, it was because they didn't want me dating while I was in high school, but I later figured out for myself, long after the relationship had ended, that he wasn't an all-around good guy anyway. And given the coice today, I would never have been with him in the first place.

Now I'm 20 and I live in a dorm, without parental supervision. So, if I wanted to date someone, I could. Whoever I wanted. Because at some point, it stops mattering whether my parents say yes or no. But if you're still in high school, and still living under your parents' roof, then it is best to respect their wishes. But that doesn't mean you can't somehow change their minds. It would be good, I think, to sit down with them and ask them why they have a problem with interracial dating. Remind them respectfully that people of other colors are still humans, just like white people.

[Stormsworder 0]

I live in a dorm and I still don't have any real freedom, Gael. But I kinda know how ya feel, Shadow. My family is somewhat racist, too... and my cousin going to a prom with an African-American male is just to spite her family because she knows they don't like interracial relationships (I feel guilty having to listen to them joke about people of other races... I got lucky my friend didn't hear my dad say the n-word while I was on a phone. Dad thinks it's perfectly fine to use that word...)

I personally couldn't give you any real advice, as my parents are against that, too... Although I think for them, its also mostly against African-American and Hispanics. I don't think they'd care much about most other ones.

so sorry I can't help. I know what you're going through though.

[Shadowknight 54]

I'm not yet out of the home, since I'm still just 16, though I often wish I was.

And my family is definitely the most racist against African-Americans and Hispanics as well, though anyone who isn't of European descent falls under their prejudice. My grandpa is far more open about it, though, not afraid to use racial slurs or degrading terms. My parents are only open after drinking, and even then it's not quite as bad as my grandpa.

I'm waiting until October to do anything, as that's when she'll be finished with volleyball and returning to play regularly on the tennis team. So that gives me time to think about the situation.

[Raffajel 0]

Ok..Im from Belgium..and really....am learning SOOOO much from America...I HEARD that there was a lot of ignorance... racism..

but soooo much:p

dude... I feel sorry for you! Ok I'm living next to GERMANY so I'm not really the one to talk about racism:p

anyway I'm Italian( origins) by myself, but my parents have a restaurant ( and DAMN good....really!) and are extremely beloved here...

we get up well with everyone..

but like 10 km farther there are like typical little belgian farm villages..

it happenend..that I fell in mlove with a girl from there( i ONCE WAS A CYCLIST AND SAW HER WALKING EVERYDAY FROM SCHOOL TO HOME;

and uhm.. her parents were extremly racist...believe me..such an idiots they were..

at the beginning, when she was my girl..they didn't even look at me ( who cared..)

but after e few weeks..they came at my place in the resytaurant, met my extremly nice parents, even though they have an odd italian accent:p

and... they started to talk to me..

we invited them for chrismas, new year..; and after four months they said '' happy we had the chance to mee you people! god bless the day you met our daughter! they ell in love with our always happy life-style, optimism...

and of course our pizza( REAL pizza, not that kind of cr..they sell in aMERICA; and pasta ..

anyway they mleft to argentina 2 years ago:p bad end:p

so dude..give it a try!!!

I wish you the most of luck!!

If you never try it..you'll regret it!

I hope I managed to give you some courage!

greetings from the land of the best beer and chocolate in the world!

[Shadowknight 54]

Because wanting to get to know her better is the same as being indecisive. Much in the same way that being a jerk on the internet makes you cool. Meaning, it doesn't. I never get to see her, that one day was an exception. Her schedule puts her in a different building than me for the entire day, and since volleyball season is still going on, she does that after school every day. We just happened to talk that once because of a fluke that had us playing at school instead of the tennis center, and she didn't have volleyball that day, so she came to watch us. And in a few weeks, she'll be out at the courts every afternoon, so I'll actually get to see her.

Anyway, Raffajel, I appreciate your story. It was nice, though the ending was a bit saddening. I hope you stayed in contact with her.

[Shadowknight 54]

In the beginning, I intended it to be about parental problems. I made this topic because my parents were imposing upon me an idea, a prejudice, that I do not believe in nor agree with. I made it for advice on that, but people focused more on the girl. I tried to keep the topic on the initial problem, but the tangent was evidently too interesting to leave out. In fact...

I find it interesting that I made this thread with the intent of discussing parents pressuring their children with ideas that the child doesn't agree with, namely racism, yet the focus shifted to the girl.

[pheonix561 2080]

Ok..Im from Belgium..and really....am learning SOOOO much from America...I HEARD that there was a lot of ignorance... racism..

but soooo much:p

dude... I feel sorry for you! Ok I'm living next to GERMANY so I'm not really the one to talk about racism:p

and of course our pizza( REAL pizza, not that kind of cr..they sell in aMERICA; and pasta ..

anyway they mleft to argentina 2 years ago:p bad end:p

greetings from the land of the best beer and chocolate in the world!

well FIRST OF ALL, we're not all rascist. yeah theres racism, but the people who are rascist make up a minority. A depressingly larger than preferable minority, but a minority none the less. Actually in my town yesterday in response to a recent incident thats has been blown drastically out of proportion by the media that regrettably you may have heard of, a group of 20 white supremacists (The K.K.K, I doubt you have them in belgium but essentially they're like nazis) rallied, protesting that the incident be treated as a hate crime. makes me sad. but then down the street a priest or a pastor or whatever had a protest with some of his friends, saying, "hey, its cool." so that makes me happy.

FOR THE RECORD, I like our pizza. Its pretty good. its not the same stuff you have, but I'm willing to try some of yours if your willing to try some of mine

aw. thats sad. well argentina is still pretty cool, right?

[Hideki 0]

well depending on your age you could just rebel

[Sahaqiel 1232]

Alright, I'll bite.

Parents shouldn't impose beliefs that may harm their children upon their children.

Do they really believe you could never possibly be happy with someone not of European descent?

Close mindedness shouldn't be tolerated once identified. I'm not blaming your parents or grandparents for what they believe-- we all come from different situations and backgrounds-- but they need to consider your feelings on the matter. You don't believe it is wrong to have interracial dating. They do.

But you decide what is right or wrong, and listening to something they're trying to get you to do, without respect of your wishes or background as you do theirs, isn't acceptable.

It's like they're giving you a gun, and telling you to rob a bank. You don't believe it's right, but they do.

So you don't listen to them.

Maybe such a severe simile isn't exactly the best one, but it's the same principle.

If you have the chance, take it.

Please just discuss with them or something.

Sahaqiel

[Max 10]

Just ask them, "Why?" every once in a while. This is a solution I have often found useful.

Edited 6 Oct 2009 by Min (see edit history)