I want to curl into a ball and hide for the next five years

[Gabs 0]

I don't know why, but I've been in such a slump.

I have moments were I'm happy, but most of the time I'm just faking it.

Issues at home keep building up, and I guess the PTSD is worse than everyone expected it to be after everything with my mom.

It's seems that school is the only place I get a break, and now things are flaring up there.

I don't like being violent, but I DO have anger issues, and a lot of the students think it's funny to nag the new girl til she snaps....their necks.

No matter how hard I try, I'm failing.

Failing algebra, failing science, and failing Oklahoma history(Teacher in there is a prick...I swear he's doing it on purpose since him and the princepal are buttbuddies...no offence to any gay guys b that comment...)

to top it off, my princepal is an asshole.

Just because my dad doesn't own a ranch, he hates us (Not making that up, he pretty much said it himself)

These ignorant hicks at my school are so materialistic.

A girl came up to me few days prior to when I got suspended and for a few minutes it was casual chit chat,

then she asked if we owned a ranch, and I said no.

So she asked how much my parents make and I told her to puppy off, and she said "Honey, round here if you're not making the big bucks no one is going to like you. Look at me for example my daddy owns Victor ranch and we've got tons of cattle."

really? a cow? You're popular because your DAD bought some cows?

God, I miss the city life. Country living is NOT for me.

I just feel like every day I'm getting pushed closer to the edge of breaking.

With all the BS from my dad and being so far away from the rest of my family is getting scary.

I'm screwed. If him and I get into another big fight I'll be on the street, I can't just call my grandparents and crash at their house since they live way back in florida.

I don't have any alternatives. I can't just call the cops on him when things get physical, I've tried that.

He flips the story and the cops believe him (yet ANOTHER reason I hate small towns. that never would have happened in florida)

He's already threatened to commit me to the looney bin claiming I'm suicidal if I even try anything like calling the cops.

And they'll believe that since I have scars.

[atlasmist radiofreak 0]

whoa big post take some time to read huh

love atlas

[pheonix561 2080]

post traumatic stress disorder?

goddammit gabs I'm internet hugging you.

[Gabs 0]

Yeah, it's post traumatic stress disorder

yay for ehugs

[pheonix561 2080]

so you have ptsd?

more hugs also.

[Chef Nonsense 0]

But you'll die of starvation D:

Anyway, that's all so terrible.

eHugs for everyone!

[Gabs 0]

Yeah, I've had it for about a year.

It's only just now within the past month or so getting worse.

[atlasmist radiofreak 0]

im glad everybody loves everybody

[PrimaGaga 1025]

F*** cowladies. F*** them all... but not in a sexual way.... Just... F*** them.

[pheonix561 2080]

if you dont mind me asking, what did it come from?

[real link 0]

I don't have any alternatives. I can't just call the cops on him when things get physical, I've tried that.

He flips the story and the cops believe him (yet ANOTHER reason I hate small towns. that never would have happened in florida)

He's already threatened to commit me to the looney bin claiming I'm suicidal if I even try anything like calling the cops.

And they'll believe that since I have scars.

two words: hidden cameras

other than that try making a tazer out of electrical tape, paper clips, batteries and rubber gloves to porotect yourself

anyways, take care, don't give up and remember where all here to help

[Gabs 0]

Pheonix;

The PTSD came after my mom died.

the story is here http://www.gaiaonline.com/journal/journal.php?mode=view&post_id=31151475&u=19030294

I'm too lazy to type it alll up.

real link;

O.O tazer ftw.

I would have too much fun with that.

[PrimaGaga 1025]

Yea, calling the cops on abusive parents doesn't work around here either. I can't help you, but if you ever feel down, I'll try to make you laugh on Skype.

[Gabs 0]

Yea, calling the cops on abusive parents doesn't work around here either. I can't help you, but if you ever feel down, I'll try to make you laugh on Skype.

<3

(:

[Mila 0]

Damn Gabs, I feel your pain. Well, kinda but not as much as your feeling I assume. Real Link has a point. Hidden cameras may be a bit hard to find, but if you can I would go for it. You need some hard core proof and back up so your story is dominant over your dad's. I live in the country, but damn I never met people like that b*stards. This is why I don't like society. Back on topic, strangely enough, I was writing a story about a girl who is kind of in your situation. Though I realize fiction is totally different from reality (damn you reality!!!) maybe some of the methods I used in my story can help you. First off, you should have someone who is close to you and you can trust to help vent (like us!). Second you need to come up with a back up plan for when things do go wrong. If you go on the streets, then what? Is there a place you know you can stay? Is there a friend's house you could secretly crash at? Back up plans are way better than sper of the moment. Can you find a good argument to support you story to the cops? Things like that are nice to know and give you something to do when you are bored and depressed (I would know ) If ever you need someone you know where to go Gabs. EHUGS FOR ALL!!!