A Dark Room

[Sahaqiel 1232]

NOTE: I consider this historical fiction, roflrofl. This WAS based on true events, but I only made this up for an English assignment. For one, I was referring to making sprites for Hyrule Online, which I wasn't making for Naeb. Muffin and Naeb never said those things in regards to my spriting. I never had a mouseball at my dad's house, where this takes place, thank goodness.

Just want an opinion.

___________

Somewhere in a large city on the third planet from the Sun, I sat wearily at a desk in a dreary atmosphere. The summer brought stifling humid air. I didn't mind. It was the dead of night. Perhaps the birth of morning? Whatever, it was 3AM, and nobody was awake. I turned off the air conditioning and opened both the windows in my room, inviting the summer air to settle down in my dark quarters. At this time of night, I keep the lights off unless I'm sure my parents are completely asleep. My room breathed silently, the window sighing in and out as the opposing wind wafted lazily against the screen. My wooden desk was cool against my skin, my futon laying ignored behind me. The sheets implored me to find comfort in their depths, but my mind was set on an important goal. Tonight, this goal was to make some sprites. Sprites are everywhere, really, which is why they're so important. They're the characters in a video game, they're the text in a computer, and they

[Shadowknight 54]

A very well written story, I must say. It's hard to find a good story about technology nowadays, but this one works.

One more note: always save the file.

[Sahaqiel 1232]

A very well written story, I must say. It's hard to find a good story about technology nowadays, but this one works.

One more note: always save the file.

I was actually focusing on the atmosphere on the room more than the task at hand. I do things like that all the time. The power strip's switch is overly sensitive, though.

It annoys me so much. =(

Sahaqiel

[Shadowknight 54]

I can tell that the atmosphere was the main part of the assignment, but the story was still interesting. I mean, how often do you read a story about sprites?

[Sahaqiel 1232]

Roflroflrofl. I was going for something unexpected/unique.

Thanks for reading it, though.

Sahaqiel

[Ganny 285]

kjlfksadf Darn you and your awesome personification. I've tried to write like this, but everything I ever pen sounds too anylitical and wordy. =( I can't explain anything without EXPLAINING IT IN A GROSS WASTE OF SENTENCES AND PUNCTUATION.

Also, why was I not in this story? =( Because I don't usually comment on your sprites? =(=(

There will come a time to stop hating me, Sahaqiel. And when it does, you better bet that I won't mention you in my story about sprites. Then you'll be begging for mercy.

BUT YOU WON'T GET ANY, SANTA CLAUS.

Immersive, by the way. Sneaky walls.

[Eka 387]

A night in the life of Saha. xD I liked the idea, very creative.

Gah, this makes me want to write something (I've been reading a lot of fan fics and mini stories lately and it just makes me want to blow some dust off of my old Microsoft Word. )

I have homework, though.

*grumbles*Curse you, school.*grumbles

'Sucks about the unsaved file. I've been in a similiar situation while I was working on a music video, except the enexpected ending of my hard work was done by my devious cat, who was rubbing against me for half an hour to give her some food and she got bored and rubbed against the power button. >_<

[Grandmaster Phoenix 26]

one word-Wow

[Sahaqiel 1232]

Final draft:

A Dark Room

Somewhere in a large city on the third planet from the Sun, I sat wearily at a wooden desk in a pondering atmosphere. The summer brought stifling humid air. I didn't mind. It was the dead of night. Perhaps the birth of morning? Whatever, it was 3am, and nobody was awake. I turned off the air conditioning and opened both the windows in my room, inviting the summer air to settle down in my dark quarters. At this time of night, I keep the lights off unless I'm sure my parents are completely asleep. My room breathed silently, the window sighing in and out as the opposing wind wafted lazily against the screen. My wooden desk was cool against my skin, my futon laying ignored behind me. The sheets implored me to find comfort in their depths, but my mind was set on an important goal. Tonight, this goal was to make some sprites. Sprites are everywhere, really, which is why they're so important. They're the characters in a video game, they're the text in a computer, and they

[Frost Giant 0]

The final draft was creative it gave a good sense of view and discerption not to mention you described the room and the morning like a poem but it was a simple story about you on the computer feeling isolated from the rest of the universe and I like how on the last paragraph at the end of the last sentence of the last part of the sentence that with all the fuss and hectic part of life (this is from my point of view of this part) all was Ok and maybe possibly well. Also the title gives you a urge to read more of it and it gives you a good view of how

you felt.

Edited 16 Sep 2008 by Frost Giant (see edit history)

[Sahaqiel 1232]

Rofl. My teacher won't accept the final draft because it's too long.

The requirement was 300-400 words, but I went 1200+.

And she won't accept it.

This makes me annoyed. >

Thank you guys for the complements, though.

I'm making my story suck, by condensing it little by little. But the teacher has to read the rough draft too, though, so, wish me luck and stuff.

Sahaqiel

[Frost Giant 0]

Well that sucks it's a good story , she's picky.

Edited 16 Sep 2008 by Frost Giant (see edit history)

[Ganny 285]

Rofl. My teacher won't accept the final draft because it's too long.

The requirement was 300-400 words, but I went 1200+.

And she won't accept it.

This makes me annoyed. >

Thank you guys for the complements, though.

I'm making my story suck, by condensing it little by little. But the teacher has to read the rough draft too, though, so, wish me luck and stuff.

Sahaqiel

No.

Release it in a four-part series.

Make her wait to hear your magnificent eloquence. It'd be like torture. She'll be wishing that 1200+ words were required.

[Shadowknight 54]

I hate it when teachers restrict someone's creativity with a word count. My English and multimedia teachers were like that last year. This year, though, I have the cool teachers.

Best of luck with the condensed version.

[Sahaqiel 1232]

So yeah, I've got one star.

Someone being a jerk?

Yeeeaaaaahhh.

Sahaqiel