Issa Kazuma
Members-
Content count
34 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Issa Kazuma
-
-
Oh no!!
Trigger's dad BETTER not die! That would be HORRIBLE!! Now I fear for Trigger and his Father. What to do what to do.... 
-
PROLOUGE
-
Same here.... by far!!
I still love the extra work you put in it (I can just tell!! 
) and the very descrpitive writing. There is no room for improvement on your part, Dark Fire. You already have the best talents that I could never have! 
I just won't believe you if you say your not a professional writer! -
Hey, Issa here. I just wanted to give you a brief explanation of "Demon Yard". Okay, I'll begin...
Explanation: Demon Yard is about a young girl, maybe in her teen years, actually, not a girl... a Demon. She may look just like a normal girl, but she truly is a Demon within. Okay, so there's this guy called Dark 'n Rahl, who wants to take over all of the Midlands. The young girl, Annar, plans on defeating him, no matter what it takes. Her past remains a mystery, though sometimes its better the way it is. Annar will travel the Midlands, fight terrible beasts, destroy an entire army, and meets someone who might give you a hint to her past. Who knows? Maybe she will even prevent her demon-self to take over her entire soul.....
Okay, so there you go, not the best explanation in the world, but the best I can do. I guess I can begin the story now....
I curled up, almost just like a cat. I shivered, the freezing temperature chilling my spine. I watched the dripping water drip down by each minute. The sound echoed through my head. Drip, drip, drip. I laid my head down, but only to bang it on a rock. I stole a glance, out of my cave, down at the large village beneath me.
-
Once again, BEAU-TI-FUL!!! I love how descriptive you are with what the characters are doing, and the scenery. I can just see it in my mind! I ESPECIALLY love the last part! I just have a feeling that that wasn't Trigger, but Blade!! Heehee, amazing, thank you for writing more, as I requested.
Even if you have Writers Block, I'm still willing to wait as long as I need to to read more! I'm sorry, but I have just one more story I was working on, and I was wondering if you'd like to read it...... 
This story I'm making is one of my best, in my opinion, but I couldn't think of another name for a horse other than Epona I'm planning on calling it... "Demon Yard", because the main character is a demon. I don't know why I add the 'yard' though... anyways, thanks a lot!!! Make sure to comment on mine also!! I want to add one more thing, though. When I mentioned before about Blade coming out too early, I take it back!! That was almost the perfect time to have him do it. Sorry I ever said that!! Also, you have your first crazed fan!! -
I really liked it. I can't help but wonder if Zelda is the mother of Aryll though. I'm just a tiny bit confused. What in the World happened to Ilia?! Ilia has the same kind of hair as Zelda, so I'm still not sure who the mother is. I guess you can have it wait, and make it a surprise.... heh heh. Well, other than my hopeless confusion, I thought this story was amazing!!! GREAT JOB!!!
-
If I may suggest, as I did this also, I listened to "Darker Side of Me" by the Nemesis while typing this part, so I want you to do it too. You may not understand why I'm asking you this, but you will once you start reading it. I say..... start to listen to it when you get to paragraph six. TRUST ME, IT"S REALLY COOL WHEN YOU DO!
============== Chapter 3: Thy name is Goku ================
"Have you figured it out yet?" I asked Conzen as he was doing paperwork on his usual desk. "Figured out what?" he asked and placed the feather pen down in the ink bowl. "My name, or course!" I yelled and threw up my arms in excitement. "Your name? No, not yet. Leave me alone, I'll get to it later." Conzen said and continued on his writing. I slammed my hand down on the table, and my shackles accidentally knocked over all the ink on top of her paperwork. "O-Oops...." I giggled, and my eyes went wide. I glanced at Conzen to see if he was angry, but his bangs covered his face. He was staring at the paperwork with agony. I backed away slowly, covering my head, of course. I suddenly threw up my arms again, and ran as fast as I could out of the room, screaming. I never looked back once, as I turned the corner. I suddenly bashed into something hard, and fell to the ground.
"Ouch...." I mumbled and looked up to see what I bumped into. "Oh, Haikai! I-I'm really sorry." I said and bowed my head quickly and stood up. "Everything is fine. I am also sorry." he smiled his original nice, kind smile. Haikai suddenly glared at me. It made me jump. "So tell me, why were you running like that?" he asked, and then quickly smiled again. "I was running from Conzen. I accidentally knocked down all the ink on his pieces of paper." I said, and rubbed the back of my head, embarrased. "Oh yes, that is bound to get him angry. How about this? Let's go to the park across the street. That is the entire reason I came here." Haikai smiled at me with his kindness. "Really?! That sounds great!" I yelled and ran passed Haikai, joyfully. "Let's go, then!" I yelled again, and stopped to wait for him. "Okay, okay. You must be patient." Haikai said and followed me out to the park. There wasn't a playground, as expected, but there was a fairly sized grass field to run around and play on.
There were only six kids there with their parents, throwing balls or objects in the heavens I was unfamiliar with. As Haikai and I stepped into the scene, everyone stopped moving. One of the parents walked over to us. "Good morning, sir Haikai." the man said. Obviously, Haikai was probably just as important and reconizable as Conzen. The man then looked at me to say the same, but stared into my eyes and my shackles. The man then suddenly spat on the ground. "A Heretic. What is a thing like you doing with Sir Haikai?" the man asked, and spat again. I frowned and looked at the ground, unable to say anything. "Now, now. It is quite alright. He is here with me as a friend." Haikai said and smiled at the man and then to me. I froze and stared at him in the face.
I remembered how Ginko had lost his life saying those words. "N-no, please!! Don't say that!!!" I unconciously yelled, my teeth chattering as if I were cold. "The Heretic is right. If a guard heard you, you'd die." the man then sneered awfully. I glared at the man, my teeth now clenched with anger. "Shut up, or I'll kill you." I said, and my eyes turned almost black. The man jerked a step back and waved his arm in the air. "Guards!! Guards!! KILL THE HERETIC!!" he was deeply frightened by my display, and now begged for help. Almost immediatly, ten guards ran into the park with weapons at their sides. They circled Haikai and I. "Sir Haikai, are you most willingly to give your life to this demon born from earth?" a guard yelled. "Yes, if I must. He is a nice boy.... and frankly.... he deserves to be treated with more respect." Haikai protested against almost everything or everyone who opposed me. "Haikai, please don't." I said, frowning.
"I've decided to name you now." I heard Conzen's voice from behind me. I turned around quickly and saw Conzen standing with a posture prepared for battle. "C-Conzen...." I mumbled, realizing it really was him. "Are you still angry about the ink?" I asked him, in a quiet voice. "No, not anymore. I'll just redo it." Conzen sneered and looked at the guards. "If you want to leave here with your lives, I suggest you leave right now." Conzen said, angrily at the guards. "B-But sir Conzen! Are you also defending this Heretic?!" a guard from the ten yelled in amazement. The head guard took a step forward. He quickly raised his right arm and yelled, "We will report this to the headman Gods! You cannot stop us!" Suddenly, all the guards dashed off to tell the gods. Suddenly, it was all quiet again.
"Why do you guys do this for me.... me, a Heretic?" I asked, and grabbed my chest. "Because your our friend." Haikai said and smiled. I suddenly remebered what Conzen said earlier. "Wait, so you figured out my name?" I asked him, and stared at him in the eyes. "Yes. For now on... your name will be Goku." Conzen said with a determined face. "Go... ku..? Goku?" I asked agai to make sure. "That's right." Conzen said and smiled. "Goku... hrm... that is a great name. Do you know what it means, Goku?" Haikai asked and smiled. "What does it mean?" I asked. "It means someone who enjoys lifes nature." Conzen said, before Haikai. "Cool... thank you, Conzen." I said, seriously. I stared into his eyes with my own, and smiled widely again. "Your welcome.... Goku." Conzen smiled. Suddenly.. so suddenly.... Conzen was shot with some kind of gun, and he started falling to the floor.
As Conzen was falling, it felt as if it were hours. Wide-eyed, I yelled his name, but he didn't reply back. Conzen then fell onto the park grass floor, and laid, still. "C.... Conzen!!!" I yelled and ran over to him and bent down next to him. "Who did that?!" Haikai yelled, and did the same as me. "I did." I heard an evil voice. It was a headman God, who used a gun. "Sir Conzen has discraced the Heavens by befriending a Heretic. And you have done the same, sir Haikai. You will be next." the God said and held the trigger harder.
The God was very, very muscular, and he had short sleeves that showed them. He wore a robe like pants, and frankly, he looked nothing like a God. "How dare you!!?" I yelled and dashed towards him. I brought out a punch, and flung it towards his face. Suddenly, all I could here was my shackles dangle on me. My whole world went white, as I hung there. The God had grabbed my face, and let me hang by it. "Goku!!" Haikai yelled from where Conzen was. "A Heretic should not attack a God." the God said and brought up the arm I was hanging by, and quickly bashed my face against the ground. The pain was unbearable. I yelled in pain, and grabbed my face. The God let go of me and left me on the ground. I stumbled back up and looked at the ground. There was a huge crater there, where he had crushed my face.
My mouth was bleeding, and my forehead, but nothing else seemed to be damaged. "Ho, your a tough one, Heretic." the God sneered and laughed evilly. "Y-You...." I mumbled and spat out blood. I wiped my mouth, disgusted by my own blood, and smiled. "Finally, it's been a while since a good fight." I said, but it felt like I really didn't say that. I felt as if I was saying something that I didn't want to say. I suddenly sneered, evilly. Something was not right. Something was terribly wrong. My Power Limiter started shaking, as if it would break. "So you show your true Heretic self, eh?" The God laughed and dashed towards me, with now a sharp knife. I sneered and easily step-sided to attack and punched the God in the face. "Goku...." I heard Haikai say, faintly. The God stumbled onto the ground, but quickly stood up. "You cannot kill a God. It is merely impossible." the God laughed and sneered.
"Who said I wanted to kill you....." I said, and my Power Limiter started splitting, "..... I'm going to torture you for doing that to Conzen." I sneered. Suddenly, the Power Limiter cracked into pieces and crumbled to the ground. I suddenly felt a stab of pain, and felt like my soul was being ripped out of me. I yelled in pain and wrapped my arms around my stomach. My eyes transformed into a dark gold coloring, and my pupils became a vertical line. My nails suddenly grew like daggers, and then the process stopped. I had completly lost myself. My heart was gone, and now only this beast was out. A sneer rose on my face, and then, I suddenly disappeared. "W-what?!" yelled the God, as he took steps back. I appeared right behind him, and slashed my nails at his neck. He screamed in pain and fell to the floor, sliding until he hit a nearby building. "So fast!!" the God yelled in pain. I dashed over to him, and before he knew it, I was punching my hard. On the leg, on the arm, in the face, anywhere I could get him.... I punched.
"Goku, stop this!! He may have done this to Conzen, but that is pure torture!!" Haikai yelled, still bent down next to the lying Conzen. I stopped punching the God, distracted by Haikai's remark. I glanced at him, and Haikai flinched. Suddenly, still not wanting to, I dashed to Haikai and slashed my nails across his stomach. He quickly flew back, and landed hard on the ground. He was bleeding heavily, and his shirt was ripped with three marks on it. "Your power limiter.... is off. It must be.... because of this...." Haikai said, and fell to the ground in a dead faint. I looked around, and saw that no one else was there to torture, and so I decided to move on. "Goku...." I Heard Conzen say, and I looked behind me. "I knew this would happen someday...." Conzen said and stumbled up. I sneered at his pain. "And so... ", Conzen said with a frown and reached in his pocket, "I've been preparing for this." Conzen suddenly pulled out a pistol, a pistol that is used to kill demons......
That is it!
Well, please comment! -
Very awesome!! Please don't take this too personally, but I think that the part when Blade gets out of Trigger was a TINY bit too early. Other than that, I thought it was fantastic as always! I made a different Fan Fic. I'm sorry to have bothered you with the "Rune Factory Frontier" one. I want you to read the one called, "Saiyuki". I'm sorry to just tell you this, but by just reading your own fanfics, I think you'd enjoy the one I'm working on now. I try to make it as funny as possible, so just comment on that story and I'll reply back to you. Thank you so much!!
-
Thanks for reading all the way through! I really hope your enjoying it so far. Please remember to reply!!
Here's the second chapter. I'll give you a description of this chapter.================
The Second Chapter is about the young boy and Conzen to become more close as friends, and a LOT funny things happen on their way!
================
=================== Chapter 2: Choose the Name!!! =================
Snoring.... snoring..... snoring..... pure silence..... "GOOD MORNING, CONZEN!!!!!" I yelled straight into his face. Conzen's eyes quickly popped wide open, not in a graceful way though. Fwap! "Ouch!" I yelled and rubbed my head. "You idiot!! Are you stupid?! I was still sleeping!" Conzen yelled at me. I fell off the bed and scuttled to the corner of his room. Conzen then got out of bed and placed the paper fan on his night stand. "Why the hell did you do that?!" Conzen yelled, his mouth somehow was huge. "I-I wanted to wake you up..." I said and sighed, "Besides, I'm REALLY hungry." I said again and smiled. "Again?! You ate four hours ago, when you kept me up all night!!" Conzen yelled and grabbed the fan again.
I then moved just a bit farther from him, knowing what will happen. "I only wanted to play with you, Conzen. No one else will. Not even that woman." I said, remembering that when I asked her, she said to go to Conzen about it. "She's not just any woman. She's a Goddess. Her name is Goddess Nana." he said. Suddenly, my mouth puffed up. There was something that I wanted to say, but I would get hit with the fan if I did. My face then turned red, and Conzen began to look worried. I covered my mouth with my hands, and my face began to turn green. "Breath, you idiot!!" Conzen yelled, thinking I forgot to breath. I removed my hands calmly, but the second I did.... "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" I could no longer contain my laughter. "Goddess Nana!!? Nana, Nana!! Ahahaha!!!"
"You idiot!!" Conzen yelled and hit me on the head with the fan. I immediately stopped the laughter and took a deep breath. "Sorry, Conzen. I couldn't handle it." I said, with a straight face. I sat for a few minutes while Conzen got dressed and did anything he could to tidy himself up. "Knock, knock." I heard an unfamiliar voice while Conzen with putting his hair in a low ponytail. I faced the door and saw a man. He looked kind and gentle. He wore black, sharp-looking glasses, brown hair that hung slightly over his right eye and wore a lab coat with a black shirt and tan jeans beneath it. "Haikai, what are you doing here?" Conzen asked, as he walked towards the door.
"I came to drop off papers from Goddess Nana for you to do." he explained. The second I heard the words 'Goddess Nana', my cheeks puffed up again. Conzen suddenly turned towards me with the paper fan and said, "Don't... you... dare..." he said, trying to act calm. I let out all the air I contained and sighed. "Who is this?" the man called Haikai asked Conzen. "He's my pet." Conzen said immediately. "I am no pet, Conzen!!" I yelled and stood up. My shackles dangled off my wrist, and Haikai looked at them. I suddenly got a sad vibe from him and hid the shackles behind my back. I looked in Haikai's eyes, and he suddenly could tell what I was. "A Heretic...." I heard him mumble. I averted my eyes from Haikai. He looked so friendly and kind, then he calls me this.
"You know what?" Haikai said and walked towards me. I backed away a bit. "Nice to meet you, what's your name?" Haikai said and smiled. Haikai then stuck out a hand to shake with mine. I just knew it, I thought, he is nice. "I-I don't have a name, but it's nice to meet you too." I said and shook his hand. "Your that formal to HIM? and not ME?" Conzen yelled. "Don't have a name, eh? Someone should give you one." Haikai said and looked towards Conzen. I looked also. Conzen finally caught on. "I suck at giving things a name, Haikai. You should do it." Conzen said and turned away. "He is YOUR pet, right?" Haikai said, and looked coy. "I'll think about it...." Conzen said and left the room.
Haikai and I followed, and we ended up back in Goddess Nana's room. "It's good to see you here and well, Conzen and Haikai." she said, as she sat on her throne. "And you too, young man." she added myself in the sentence, which I was happy about. "I gave him the papers, he'll do it sometime, right Conzen?" Haikai asked and looked at him. "Of course." Conzen said, angrily. "I can help!" I yelled. "No way!!" Conzen yelled, "And you better shut up before I kill you with this thing!!" Conzen added and showed me the paper fan. I jerked back. "What is THAT?" Nana asked, giggling. "He hits me with it when I do something bad, Na~na." I said, using more swing to her name. "Like this!" Conzen yelled and smacked my head with it.
"Ouch!" I Yelled and bent to the ground, rubbing my head. I heard Goddess Nana start giggling. "Conzen, in just one day you've changed a little because of him. Why have you not given him a name?" The Goddess asked. "I WILL give him a name, just wait!" Conzen yelled. "Fine, fine. Just make it snappy. I want to know what you'll call him." Nana said, and showed a hand sign that said we could leave. We left together, but then Haikai said he needed to do something and left.
"Breakfast time?" I asked Conzen once Haikai was gone. "Fine. Let's go now." Conzen said and left to another hallway. "Yes! Finally!" I yelled with excitement. After he ate one bowl of whatever he got, I ate my eight bowls of all the different kinds of things the restaurant had. "5 million yen, please." the waiter said. "5 MILLION!??" Conzen yelled, as he fished through his wallet. "You idiot! I don't have this kind of money!" Conzen yelled at me. "You don't?" THe waiter asked politely. Conzen stared at her with doubtfulness. Suddenly, before I knew it, we were kicked out. "At least I got the food before they asked for the money!" I yelled and rubbed my stomach.
Suddenly, I was slapped with the fan. "What was that for?!" I yelled. "FOR JUST EATING SO MUCH!!!" Conzen yelled.
There, two chapters. I hope you liked it. You better like it..... AHEM!! Sorry. just tell me what you think and REPLY!!!
-
Hey, sorry about not having a description!
I sort of...... forgot..... Heh heh.... Well, I'll tell you it right now. "Saiyuki", is about a young boy who is tragically born a Heretic. A Heretic is a sort of being that is different from the human and god race. They can go out of control when their Power limiters are taken off. Power Limiters are usually a gold coloring that suppresses the power of who ever is wearing it. The young boy is born in a time when the demons attack the most, well, they attack humans anyway. The boy never got a name, but soon will, and later goes off with Conzen, Haikai, and Gojio on a journey to destroy all the demons, and on the way they learn about their own powers and freindship, and the terrible powers of a Heretic when the power limiter is off......
===================
In an ancient time in the heavens, I was thrown in a cage cell. I didn't know what I did wrong, nor did my weak body have enough power to break out. What was going on? Why am I here, in such a place? The cell was rather large, which fit my standards, but it was damp, cold, and the entire cage including the bars were made of Earth's land. I sat in the very back of the cell, everything was lifeless. At times when the sun rose, I would crawl my way to the beginning of the cage and bask in its glory. One glimpse of light was what I wait for each and every day. My long, brown hair glimmered in the sunlight. Ever since I realized I was alive, I've had a gold crown on my forehead. Not a crown a king would wear, for it wasn't on top of my head, it was under my hair on my forehead. My bright gold eyes were the key to tell everyone what I was. My name is.... well, I never got a name by anyone. I was only called things. The people working at my cell... would call me.... a Heretic.
======================= Chapter 1: Escape =======================
"Get all the way back, you stupid kid!!" the guard yelled as he whipped my hand on the bars. I scuttled back carefully, rubbing the pain off my hand. THe sun finally came out, but the guard kept me from looking at it. "Hey, mister guard?" I asked him, my voice quivering. "What is it?" he asked, his voice low. "When is lunch time?" I asked him and smiled widely. The guard glared at me evilly and turned around, not answering. I never even thought about breaking free, I never even thought about what it was like in the outside world. It felt as if I was born in this cave, which could be possible. Heretics like me are born from Earth's Soil and Land and Ocean. I was pretty much born from earth, that is the true nature of a Heretic. I was told never to take the gold thing off my head, and never I shall recommend. The one person who cared for me told that to me, too. His name was Ginko. He was another guard who was next to my cage cell, he would always talk to me and play with me. But the head guard saw him doing this with me, and killed him because of it.
On maybe a day that the sun would come up early, a headman from the heavens came down to my cage cell. He had his black hair in a bun and he wore a blue robe. He looked like he was in his forties, although all the people in heaven are gods, so they are immortal. "Come with me, Heretic. We're going to sell you to one of the heavenly gods." he said and sneered. Although I didn't want to be sold, hearing the words 'come with me' is good. I got to finally leave my cage, and look at the sun from a fair point of view. Even though I had to wear shackles on my wrists and ankles wherever I went, I believed that this was the greatest thing that graced upon the entire Earth. When we both finally got to heavens gate, I was almost embarrassed. The ground was clouds, but there were buildings everywhere that were almost like bright temples. I closed my eyes and felt the troubles lift off me, from one look at the glorious sun. Suddenly, when we got into a temple, I was pushed to the ground. I sat up on my knees and looked who I was being sold to. It was a woman, she was beautiful. Black, curly hair, her blue eyes pierced through my mind in a good way. She wore a white robe, and looked really young, older than me, maybe in her twenties in human years.
She sat on a throne, looked like a throne anyways. Two people sat beside her. One on her left, and one on her right. The one on her right was just another guard. But the one on the left interested me the most. He had a pointed chin, funny looking, and wore a lavender robe. His hair was amazing. It was long, blonde hair. It glimmered in the sun, the same as mine, but.... somehow different. His hair was bright, almost like a orange marker drew faint streaks on his golden hair. I stood up, and the guards and the woman looked at me. "Yo-Your hair.... it looks like the sun." I said and grabbed the man's hair. He stared at me, with kindness. "'Like the sun', eh? Very descriptive." the woman laughed, also with kindness. These people were so nice to me, it was unbelievable. Suddenly, the few strands of hair I grabbed from the man.... popped off.
"Erk!" I yelled and took a step back. I looked at the man, and he was staring at me. "You brat!!" He yelled and punched me, slightly weak. "I-I didn't mean to!" I yelled and fell to the ground. Suddenly, the woman started laughing, she laughed like something was funny. "Have you ever had this much fun, Conzen? This boy will be yours." she laughed. "Mine?!" He yelled. I smiled. "We are sorry, sir Conzen! Milady, if you'll let us kill it...! -" The headman from heaven yelled, but the man with the sun hair stopped him from talking. "I will take him. Don't do anything rash." he said. "R-Really?!" I yelled and stood up quickly. The man with the sun hair smiled at me. "As you wish, sir Conzen. But if he does anything wrong, we will deal with him thoroughly." the headman yelled, and left the room. The guards stayed, expectedly anyway.
"So your name is Conzen?!" I yelled, and laughed afterwards. "Y-yes... it is." he said and turned and walked away. I quickly stood up and ran after him. "What do you do here for a job?" I asked him, very curious. "I help the woman you saw back there. She watches over the human race to make sure the balance is kept." Conzen answered as he took a sharp left into another open hallway. "What balance?" I asked again. "The balance of humanity. So nothing disrupts it." Conzen explained. "But what would disrupt humanity?" I asked again. "Are you going to keep asking questions like this?!" Conzen yelled and stopped walking. I stopped also, I was going to bump into him. I nodded with determination, the Conzen just sighed and kept walking.
"The beasts that disrupt humanity is the demons." he said and frowned. "Demons?" I asked, not knowing what that was. "Demons sometimes look a tiny bit like us, or humans for that matter. They are predators that either kill humans for the fun of it, or for food. They take on different forms of anything you can imagine." Conzen explained. "Oh, I guess it's good that the woman watches over them, then." I said, and looked back at the back of the throne, unable to see the woman. "Yes, there are some people on the Earth that kill Demons, like demon hunters for exaple. They get paid for doing that." Conzen said. "I'm hungry..." I said and rubbed my stomach. "That's completely off the subject!!!" Conzen yelled and sighed.
"Lunch is soon, ok?" he said and closed his eyes to relax himself. "Ok... but I'm REALLY hungry...." I mumbled. "I get it! Just wait a few more minutes." Conzen said. "Minutes?! Why in MINUTES?! Why can't it be SECONDS!?" I yelled and grabbed the back of his robe. Suddenly, something whopped my head. "Ow... what was that!?" I yelled, grabbing my head. I looked up at Conzen and saw that he was holding a paper fan. "When ever you piss me off or do something bad, I'm gonna smack you with this, got it?!" he yelled. "Fine, fine." I said and sighed.
We both walked into a bright room with faintly painted yellow walls. There was one, long desk in the middle and one chair to sit in. Conzen sat in the chair in front of the long desk and started to write something. I leaned over closer to him to see what he was writing. I started breathing hard on him, and leaned closer, because I couldn't see. "Will you get off me!?" Conzen yelled, and slapped my head with the fan. "Ouch ouch ouch!!" I yelled and rubbed my head. This time, I decided to just wait and sat on the floor. As I sat there, for maybe a few minutes, I got fed up. "Conzen!! I thought you told me lunch was in a few minutes!!" I yelled.
That's all for now!! Please Reply!
-
LOL! When I first saw the "Here's a link", I got so confused. I thought you meant The Legend Of Zelda Link. I'm so lame, but I agree with.... um..... 'FreckleFart'... ahem.... I thought it was pretty good. I think you shouldn't criticize your own work! (Not if you TRIED to make it suck.) Everyone needs a little boost of enthusiasm!!
GO GO GO!! Okay, I'm done. Well, you ought to right a few more, you WILL get better (if you think that you suck.... which you DON'T)! I guarantee it! Good Luck in some more Writing!!!
............................. Here's another boost of enthusiasm.......... GO GO GO!!!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!
:joy: -
Very, very well done!!
I feel as if I'm watching a show, but I can't help but think of it as an anime show. Let me tell you this, that each and every day I will check this and MAKE SURE you have written more. This is the kind of stories that I
like, and if someone doesn't, I'll make sure otherwise. I made my own Fan Fiction Story just recently and is now available
to read. I just wish with my heart that you of all people will read it. My story is called "Rune Factory: Frontier". It would
mean much if you would comment on mine. Even though every story that I like on this site are written by boys, I still will
enjoy it just as much.
As a girl, I vow to try and make the same amount of awesome stories you have made!! -
I really hope you enjoy!
Please comment. For those who just joined this site, to comment, go to the bottom right corner of this entry and click "reply." Thank you for trying this story out. I tried my best!! ~~~~~~~~~~
I had lost everything; my memory, a place to live... When I was on the verge of collapse, I met her. She provided me with food, a home, and.... new memories. However, she suddenly disappeared one day without a single word to anybody. That very next day, I left the town behind to search for her.......
RUNE FACTORY FRONTIER
I walked over an olden built bridge and stopped at the end of it. As I panted for new oxygen, I realized something I hadn’t before. “Man, it’s getting pretty dark. I’d better look for a place to rest for the night.” I wondered out loud. I finally came across a large building that looked like an old church. The windows were glass panes and it was rather low for a church. “I wonder if I can find lodging over there.” With only the power of my will, I forced myself to move on to the building.
I entered the church and walked down the small red carpet that ran across the middle of the flooring. Large wooden benches stood along side it, some with dust mites. At the back of the church was an organ, and a long table that had three lighten candles. I walked down the carpet and arose to an old woman, who wore a purple headdress and a purple gown. She was old, which shortened her height. I walked straight up to her, waiting for someone to say something.
I finally told her my story, and stood anxiously for an answer. “You’re looking for a missing girl? I’m very sorry to hear that.” she said, not giving me an answer I was hoping for. She gathered up her sadness and said, “If you don’t mind this humble place, you should rest here for the night.” I bowed my head quickly and flung it back up. “Thank you so much! Sister... um...” I didn’t know what her name was, and I froze on spot.
“Stella.” she said, and smiled widely. “Sister Stella, thank you very much. My name is Raguna.” I said, and smiled back the same way. “Raguna, huh? That’s a wonderful name.” Stella said, her face straight. She glanced at me, and said, “By the way, Raguna, was this missing girl your sweetheart?” she giggled after she finished her question. Sweating, I threw my arms in the air. “N-no! It’s nothing like that at all!” I yelled, and panted for more breath. I gathered up my emotions and sighed. “...But, she is a very important person to me.”
Sister Stella sighed along with me and smiled. “I see... Well, let’s just leave the matter be for now, eh? It’s getting late. You should rest.” she said. She looked at me, with sags under her eyes, and said ‘good night.’ I returned the favor, and we both walked into a fancy hallway, the entrance in the main rooms’ left side. Sister Stella then told me to just sleep in the infirmary because she had no extra rooms. I agreed in the proper manner and slept, without another word.
Chapter 2
The next morning, I walked back into the main room with the red carpet. Sister Stella waited for me with patience. “Thank you for last night, Sister Stella. How can I repay you?” I asked with gratitude. She just smiled and nodded. “We must all help each other out in times of need. I’ll be praying your search goes well.” she added to her own ‘your welcome.’ “Thank you.” I said.
Suddenly, I saw a sunlight ray coming from behind me. I turned around. “Good morning!” a familiar voice called out. The door opened fully, and there she was. It was the girl I was searching for. Her very blonde hair in a low pony tail with a ribbon that kept it together, a blue and white short dress that had a gold linen that strung down the middle to the bottom. Her pale skin reflected to rays’ light. “You are....?” she said and walked over to the Sister and I. “Mi-Mist?!” I babbled with confusion. She smiled at me, but also with confusion. “Yes, I’m Mist. And you.... You look just like Raguna!” she yelled, finally realizing it. “That’s ‘cause I AM him!” I yelled.
“Oh, what a coincidence to meet in a place like this.” she said and smiled again. “I came looking for you, Mist!!” I yelled, angry. I suddenly heard a hearty laughter. It was Sister Stella, almost about to fall on her back. “Ahahaha! So Mist was the missing girl Raguna was looking for!” she laughed. Mist suddenly placed a confused emotion on her face. “Sister Stella, I didn’t know you knew Raguna.” Mist said. “I just happened to stop here for the night while I was looking for you.” I answered to Mist.
“More importantly, what in the world are you doing here, Mist?! Everyone’s worried about you because you left so suddenly.” I changed the subject. “Oh, I’m sorry. Well, can you return to town and tell everyone I’m fine?” she asked me with a straight face. “Huh....? You’re not coming with me?” I asked confused. “I can’t. Someone is calling for me.” she said, and stole a glance back at the door. “Again, with the nonsense....” I mumbled to myself.
Suddenly, Mist grabbed my hands. “I know! Raguna, you should stay here!” she yelled. “What?! I can’t do that!” I yelled, and placed my hands on my knees. “If I remember correctly , there’s an empty house next to the one I live in.” Mist mentioned, with little sympathy. Sister Stella finally entered the conversation. “Well... yes, there is, but no one has lived there for so long, it’s a mess. Not to mention the farming area in front of it.” she said, and sighed.
“Don’t worry, Sister Stella. Raguna is very skilled at tending to such things.” Mist said, and oddly, it felt as if music was flowing around her. “I’m sure he’ll clean this one right up!” Mist added to her previous sentence. A drop of sweat rolled down my cheek. “Um... I don’t remember agreeing to stay here...” I mumbled, but no one heard me. “Come on, Raguna. It’s this way!” Mist yelled, and she ran out the door. I looked back at Stella, but her face was very confused. I sighed and followed Mist.
I exited to door and looked up. The sky was beautiful, and very blue and sunny. “Right down this path!” Mist yelled, and I looked back down. She suddenly was gone. I looked around quickly and saw her almost halfway passed the bridge I was on last night. “Please wait!” I yelled and ran after her. Suddenly, Sister Stella walked out the door and I stopped. “Raguna, once you finish up some work, can you come to this church again?” she asked.
“Sure.” I said and smiled. The Sister walked back into the church without hesitation. I turned back around and ran down the dirt road that was surrounded with grass. I finally caught back up to Mist and looked up with relief. I suddenly noticed something I hadn’t before. “What’s that?” I asked her. It was an island. Floating up in the sky, literally. It was shaped, and looked, exactly like a whale. A castle stood on top of the whale island, and one fin had a piece of the castle on it.
“That’s Whale Island. It’s always is the sky above Trampoli village.” Mist explained with a smile. “What a strange island....” I mumbled. “I heard there’s a cave inside it. Piques your interest, doesn’t it?” Mist laughed. "Yeah... it sure does." I said and glanced once more back up at the strange island. Mist stopped walking in front of a small house. I stopped also. The houses windows were also glass panes but now on this house, so was the door. In front of the house, was what looked like an area that wasn't used for centuries. It was a large farming area that had tree stumps, large sticks, big rocks, medium size rocks, and pebbles everywhere. It didn't even look like a farming area.
"Sorry, Raguna. I know it's kind of messed up, but this is all we can offer you if you want to stay." Mist said. "I never said I was going to stay, Mist." I said, and a vein on my head showed my anger. "You can go inside your home now, but I need to go do something. So, I'll meet up with you later!" Mist yelled and ran back up the path. I sighed angrily and gave up on her. I suddenly felt so uneasy, and I turned around to a different path. Someone was blocking my vision to look down the path.
It was a man, who looked not much older than me. He had blonde, spiky hair and his eyes were blood red. He looked at me with a sneer on his face. I couldn't put my finger on it, but he looked a bit familiar. He looked very strong, his muscles were the proof. I froze in my spot, and stared into his face. He finally said something, that I wish he never had..... "That hair.... those eyes.... I've found you, Raguna....."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That's all I have for you now! Please reply, and I'll add more.
Thank you for reading this!!! -
Well done!
I love Naruto, even though I'm a girl.... 
But anyway, keep it up! -
THEN YOU ARE A FOOL, AND MUST BE ELIMINATED.I'm... sorry, but I just think it can get boring at sometimes, but please dont mind me. I was just saying what I felt about it.... again I'm sorry for making you think I'm a fool...
Sorry.... -
I was very bored at the time, so I decided to write a random story. Reply!
Chapter 1: Escape
For almost as long as she could remember, Maerad had been imprisoned behind walls. She was a slave in Gilman's Cot, and hers was the barest of existences: an endless cycle of drudgery and exhaustion and dull fear.
Gilman's Cot was a small mountain hamlit beyond the borders of the wide lands of the Inner Kindoms of Annar. It nestled at the nape of a bleak valley on the eastern side of the mountains of Annova, where the range split breifly and ran out, like two claws, from near the northern end. Its virtue, as far as the Thane Gilman was concerned, was its isolation; here he could be tyrant of his domain, with nothing to check him.
It was a well-defended fortress, though no one came to attack. At the cot's back was the stone cliff of the Outwall, the precipice cutting sheer some thousand feet from the Landrost, the highest peak in that part of the range. Around the cot were walls of roughly dressed stone, rising to a height of thirty feet from a base twenty feet wide. They tapered to four feet at the top, enough room for two men to walk abreast. At the front were stout wooden gates, which eight men or a wagon could enter with ease. The gates were barred at night and most days, except for hunts and when the hillmen came in their big wagons to trade goods, salted meat, cheeses, and dried apples for swords and arrows and buckets and nails.
About a hundred and fifty souls lived there: the Thane Gilman and his wife, who had been beaten to a shadow after bearing him twelve children, of which fiv still lived, and his henchmen and their woman and ol' chaps. The rest were slaves like Maerad, captured in raids in Gilman's youth, or bargained for at the gate, or simply born there. They lived in dormitories, long huts under the shadows of the walls.
The buildings were ancient, older even then Gilman guessed, the walls raised in forgotten times by grim northern men to keep out wolves, and worse. Under Gilman, the walls were mostly used to keep people in. The small enclosed meadows were tilled and harvested by slave labor, his tables and cloths and cheeses and sour drinks were all made by slaves, and Gilman wanted none run away. His many guards served to reinforce his tyranny, and, not inconsequentially, gratified his own opinion of his authority. Like many who ruled far vaster territories, Gilman was not above the petiness of vanity.
If anyone did escape, there was nowhere to run to; their most likely fate was to be hunted down by untamed beasts in the forest that stretched below the mountains. And even to this isolated cot came rumors of stirrings in the outside world: whispers of unnamed shadows that haunted the forest deeps, or the forgotten evils that now woke and walked in the day-lit world.
Maerad was still too young to have given up hope of escape, although as she approached adulthood and began better to understand her own limitations, she understood it to be a childish dream. Freedom was a fantasy she gnawed obsessively in her few moments of leisure, like an old bone with just a trace of meat, and like all illusions, it left her hugrier than before, only more keenly aware of how her soul starved within her, its wings wasting with the despair of disuse.
The Springturn began like every other day of Maerad's life, with the iron clang of the dawn bell wrenching her from sleep. It dumped her on the rim of consciousness, sore and heavy and blind, and her dreams sank into the darkness of her mind, as if they had never been.
Yawning, she staggered out of the slaves' quaters to the courtyard well, her skin wincing at the icy air. She hunched her cloak around her shoulders and, scarcely glancing at the dim shapes of the buildings around her, pumped some water and splashed it over her head. Gasping, she shook the water off her heavy hair, and her breath plumed in white swirls out of her nostrils and through her chattering teeth. Her limbs still felt like lead, her face was numb as a brick, but at least she was awake.
She was drying herself with her cloak when she heard a heavy step behind her. Maerad turned, quick as a wild dog, her hackles bristling --- but it was only Lothar, the huge, doltish man in charge of the buttery.
"Late night?" asked Lothar, sniggering.
Maerad turned contemptuously back at the well.
"You could her the lords until roostercrow," he said. "And who took you last night?"
"Shut your muddy mouth, pea-brain," she said curtly. "Or I'll put the evil eye on you." She turned to face him, glaring, and began to raise her arms. Lothar went pale and crossed his hands before his eyes. "Ward! Ward!" he cried. "I meant no harm, Maerad."
"Then keep your mouth from evil gossip," she hissed. "Get! Go!"
Lothar scuttled off, and Maerad permitted herself a grim smile before she savored a precious minute to herself. The cot was only just stirring; it was before roostercrow, and there were still a few moments before the summons bell. Most of the slaves huddled greedily into their little patches of sleep-warmth, reluctant to leave until the very last second.
Maerad leaned back and breathed in hard, gazing up at the distant stars, tiny points of frosty fire high over the mountains. She searchesd as she always did for the dawn star, Ilion, burning brightly over the eastern horizon, and sniffed a new freshness in the early air. "It's the beginning of spring," she thought. Despite her tiredness, her spirits lifted. Then she looked down at her callused hands and sighed. "But not for me; I'm already withering. What will become of me?"
That's all for now, please reply and I'll write some more!
Just tell me how you like it! -
Heh heh, sorry 'bout that!
Here's some more, be sure to read it and tell me what you think! Chapter 1
When I would stare at the moon, at the end of the cycle, I erase my human senses, and become a beast. I grow sharp fangs, nails like daggers, and eyes of a beast, red with the thirst of blood. I live in an abandoned castle, and I live alone. Hourly, I search among the hallways, to find some food. Usually, I stay in one room, with no windows, to stay out of the moonlight. I believe that my "being" is named among the humans. I think they have called us vampires. They believe that we don't exist anymore, and by we, I pretty much mean me.
I have long, blonde hair, and a black and purple dress. Even though I may look like a kid, I'm a lot older than the people I see trying to inspect the castle. The castle is on a big hill, where the moon shines bright, in the middle of the night. It's almost like a haunted mansion, no one would ever dare to enter the so-called haunted mansion. Until one day, when a very curious boy and his roostery scientist enter the Hollow Bastion...
Chapter 2
"I tell you, there really is a beast living in this house!" a boy yelled, to a man standing beside him. "Richard, I know people have been talking about it, but when you drive a famous scientist out of bed for an enchanted story, that's just going off the end." the man protested, frowning. "What if it's true? Wouldn't you want to help?" Richard asked him, pulling on the man's shirt. "We are going to take one look, then, we leave without saying another word about this, alright!?" suggested the man. "Thank you, Mr. Gula!" Richard laughed and started to head towards the entrance.
*****************************************************
"I.... I hear them...." I said to myself in a daze. "They're coming closer...." I closed my eyes, and quickly looked up. I looked up at the moon, realizing that it wasn't completely full. "It.... It will grow, before they come.... I must hide myself..." I slowly stood up and walked along the dark red carpet and exited through the door. "I..... I must quickly.... m..... ove....." that's all the time I could say, before a blackness came rushing over me and I slid to the ground in a dead faint.
************************************************
"D-did you hear that thudding sound?" Richard quickly back away from the rest of the hallway. "No, but that doesn't matter anyway. Let's just get this over with." Mr. Gula complained, flying around the lantern for a glimspe of light. "But, what if something else lives in here, what if it's not human? What if its a beast with claws, or a werewolf?" Richard fantasized the area. "Richard! Just let it go, we have one more room to check." Mr. Gula opened the door slowly, making a loud creaking sound.
He lifted his lantern to shine the darkened light and the room was filled with creepy objects. A red carpet stretched along the center of the room, ending near a vast, glass window, at the end of the room. "Ah, Mr. Gula, look!!" Richard yelled and ran past the scientist. "Richard! Do not touch things that shouldn't be! This is far to valuble." Mr. Gula greedily laughed. "But, this is a girl!!" he yelled, picking her up off the ground. "What? Why is there a girl here?!" Mr. Gula ran over to Richard.
They both stared at her peaceful face. "What is she doing here? She looks my age..." Richard wondered, now holding her fully off the rug. "We should take her back to my house, visit her when you please." Mr. Gula laughed in his throat. Richard eyed Mr. Gula and handed him the girl. "Please, when she wakes, call me." Richard begged and left, Mr. Gula followed.
-
"Fare thee well; for I must leave this mortal place behind me..." the last words of my mother, who was particualy a woman whose eyes could tell anything, the future, the past of others, and was able to see through objects. She said her place in the world was not where I was, so she left. I kept wondering about my eyes. If they were going to turn out the way hers did. But no, worse, worse than that. My eyes, if my eye path were placed upon the Full Moon, I would become a horrid monster....
-
I love the plot in this story, but it DID come waay to early! I think you should start over and type the same thing as it was early in the story, then have some odd things happen to Tor. Like at school, the way his freinds would be acting, ect. But over all, I still liked it!
-
Of course It's liked! Who wouldn't like it?I'm sorry, but me....
-
Chapter 5
-
Chapter 4
-
Chapter 2
I let my arms dangle behind me as I ran, so that they wouldn
-
Prolouge- Ryoka
A Witch's Tale
in Zelda Fan Content
Posted
This is really good! Keep it up, cuz I'm hooked!! I like the personality of the main character. Keep it going!