things you should never hear the Zelda characters say its a game!

[True Gamer 19]

*Link and Ganondorf in a sword fight, and at the climax, they both are face to face...when suddenly...*

Ganon= This is it, Link...it's over fo-

Link= Hey, Ganondorf, two words: Breath Mint

[Ganon's Girl 0]

Link: *Singing* Who's afraid of the big bad wolf, big bad wolf, big bad wolf. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf. Not I!

*Wolfos pops up*

Link: Oh F****! It's a--! AHHHH!!!!! *Run away*

[eyeoftruth 2]

Link: navi...

navi: yes?

Link: I need to use the toilet....

Navi: again? o god...

[Farron 0]

Navi:Link,what are you doing?

Link:I am writing a peace treaty so that the Hylians and Gerudos may live at peace with each other without bloodshed.

Navi:But you always just kill Gannondorf.

Link:Ah,but those were the Links before me!I am now a pacifist.No longer shall I take up arms against Ganon and attempt to seal him away.Now in my eyes the pen is mightier than the Master Sword.

Navi:...

[Goron Merchant 1]

Link: *Singing* Who's afraid of the big bad wolf, big bad wolf, big bad wolf. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf. Not I!

*Wolfos pops up*

Link: Oh F****! It's a--! AHHHH!!!!! *Run away*

Lol.

[JLRTENJAC 0]

Tingle: I am going to be in every zelda game from this point on!

Falbi: Me too!

[Goron Merchant 1]

Miyamoto: Due to the success of Tingle's new game, were deciding to make a spin off series about Falbi and his Cuccos called "Falbi's RainBow Colored Love Land of Pure Joy and Cuccos." This UK and North American Exclusive will be launched in the UK and America instead of Phantom Hourglass. We Heard Flabi is a more appealing character across the shores. In the game, Falbi must collect Cuccos which he'll hold in his pantaloons. Once he's collected enough Cuccos, he can tie them to strings to fly to new lands. . .

[Crowned Twili Princess 0]

Scene: Midna and Link in the Palace of Twilight

Midna: Zant! Isn't this ironic? Here we are, all thanks to the dark magic curse you placed on Link.

Zant ( Makes A Weird Noise That Makes Him Sound Like A Chicken Before Saying): You speak of magic? Hold your tounge for a moment, and I will tell you of both magic and the opression of ages! Our tribe, a tribe that had mastered the arts of magic, were locked away in this world like insects in a cage. In the shadows, we regressed...

Midna (Hungrily): Mmm! Chicken! I love Chicken!

Zant rambles on and on

Link: Are you thinking about...?

Midna: Yes! I'm really hungry!

Link: Midna! You can't do that! That would make you a can...!

Midna: There'a something else I forgot to tell you. Zant is really a chicken; my family's pet. We turned him into a Twili because our former Court Jester died, and we couldn't find any others to take his place. I was about to turn him back into a chicken when I found out what he was doing to the Twilight Realm, but he turned me into...this...hideous little imp, first! Before, you do the Finish Move, I'll turn him back into a chicken, then we'll take him to the Kitchen of Twilight and make dinner!

Link: I'm starving! Haven't eaten in weeks! How should we cook the chicken?

Midna: KFC style!

Link: What else should we have?

Midna: Potatoes, Cole Slaw, and Biscuts!

[eyeoftruth 2]

Miyamoto: Due to the success of Tingle's new game, were deciding to make a spin off series about Falbi and his Cuccos called "Falbi's RainBow Colored Love Land of Pure Joy and Cuccos." This UK and North American Exclusive will be launched in the UK and America instead of Phantom Hourglass. We Heard Flabi is a more appealing character across the shores. In the game, Falbi must collect Cuccos which he'll hold in his pantaloons. Once he's collected enough Cuccos, he can tie them to strings to fly to new lands. . .

YES! THIS IS THE BEST NEWS SINCE THE TINGLE GAME!......................

[Ganon's Girl 0]

Link: Tingle, I love you

Okay, that grossed me out, and I'm the one who posted it

[Crowned Twili Princess 0]

Scene: My b-day party

My mom: Dear, have we got a surprise for you!

Me: Oh, boy! Is it a Wii?

My dad: No, it's even better than that!

My mom exits the room and comes out with a huge b-day cake

Me: You baked me a huge cake!

My mom looks at her watch: Now!

Tingle pops out of the cake

I'm sitting there with a stunned look on my face

Tingle ( singing): Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Whoop-Dee-Doo! Whoop-Dee-Doo! May be your day be pleasant! Open up your presents! Just for you! Just for you!

Me: Mom! I hate Tingle! Why'd you bring him to my birthday party!

My mom: Tingle singing "Happy Birhtday" to you isn't the only surprise he has for you!

Tingle ( gets down on one-knee, and opens up a ring box): LoZFan1989, will you marry me?

Me: ( Faints)

Tingle: I'll take that as a "Yes"! Ohh, we are gonna have the best wedding ever! I gotta invite Falbi and his cuccos, Fyer, all the fairies, and my whole family! The theme is: Freshly -Picked-Rose-Colored Rupee Land! We gotta have Roses and Rupees everywhere at the Church and Reception! Ohh, everyoe's gonna love the bride's dress and bridesmaid gowns! The menu's gonna be sweet! This is the happiest day of my life!

[eyeoftruth 2]

Ganon:20 000 tomme seter jubler for LYYYYN! Heiiiiiia LYN!

[Goron Merchant 1]

Scene: My b-day party

My mom: Dear, have we got a surprise for you!

Me: Oh, boy! Is it a Wii?

My dad: No, it's even better than that!

My mom exits the room and comes out with a huge b-day cake

Me: You baked me a huge cake!

My mom looks at her watch: Now!

Tingle pops out of the cake

I'm sitting there with a stunned look on my face

Tingle ( singing): Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Whoop-Dee-Doo! Whoop-Dee-Doo! May be your day be pleasant! Open up your presents! Just for you! Just for you!

Me: Mom! I hate Tingle! Why'd you bring him to my birthday party!

My mom: Tingle singing "Happy Birhtday" to you isn't the only surprise he has for you!

Tingle ( gets down on one-knee, and opens up a ring box): LoZFan1989, will you marry me?

Me: ( Faints)

Tingle: I'll take that as a "Yes"! Ohh, we are gonna have the best wedding ever! I gotta invite Falbi and his cuccos, Fyer, all the fairies, and my whole family! The theme is: Freshly -Picked-Rose-Colored Rupee Land! We gotta have Roses and Rupees everywhere at the Church and Reception! Ohh, everyoe's gonna love the bride's dress and bridesmaid gowns! The menu's gonna be sweet! This is the happiest day of my life!

Make sure you invite us to the wedding!!

[True Gamer 19]

*Ganondorf and Link fighting in the highest tower of Ganon's castle*

Ganon: Hahaaahaha! You only have 3 hearts left with......um.....what's that fraction?!

Link: ....No wonder you became evil....you never finished high school, or even learned your pre-algebra...

[Farron 0]

Link-'kills darknaut'

GAINED THE LEAD...

Link-is frozen by a giant ice thing 4 times and dies

LOST THE LEAD...

beep...beep...beep...BEEP!

Link-kills flying lizalfos

GAINED THE LEAD...

Link-kills ice javelin dude

GAME OVER...

POST GAME CARNAGE REPORT

player score kills deaths

Link 25 25 7

Darknaut 19 19 9

Flying Lizalfos 12 11 12

Giant Ice Thing 23 23 0

Ice Javelin Dude 6 6 18

crap it didn't turn out like I wanted it to...