Marquis
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Posts posted by Marquis
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Shack of Doom: 2
Tower of the Spectral Lemur: 1
You decide to first check the Shack of Doom!
Although you told yourself you'd never return to such a dreadful place, you can't remember why because it was so terrible that you have repressed it harder than you've repressed anything. And you were beaten as a child.
You proceed to the shack.
You require a way to get inside. But you're not sure.... what should you try first?
Meanwhile...
You wake up inside the cell. Perhaps it is time for The Number One Homo to escape! Although you were kind of eager to drop... nevermind.
How should you plan this great escape?
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search for the legendary Staff of Perpetual Happiness
You have decided to start a new quest - to find the legendary "Staff of Perpetual Happiness." This staff is said to have brought great happiness to lords and ladies throughout the ages - even as they were being killed by people who sought the staff themselves. Kind of creepy if you think about it too much, really.
You find your way to a nearby tavern that you have come to like, in order to begin planning your quest.
You take out your map of the region. After a quick review, you decide that it could be in one of several locations. Ah! Just what you've been waiting for. A good dungeon crawl! Now to decide which place to investigate first...
Your choices are:
1.) Forest of Intense Hallucinations
2.) Tower of The Spectral Lemur
3.) Desert of the Eight Parched Dukes
4.) King Bart's Castle
5.) Shack of Doom
Where shall you try first?
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Archmagician Dinkleballad
Martin Broadcloak
You are Archmagician Martin "Dinkleballad" Broadcloak. Perhaps someday you shall delve into the epic fantasy adventure available for $9.99 that reveals how you got your nickname. But not today.
As a powerful practitioner of magic, you have to freedom to do whatever you want. You were just on the way into town to get a shiny red apple to satiate your appetite. You have accomplished this and were just about to move on to your next task.
...which is?
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Yeah. I try to make him as outrageous as possible. As shown by this exert from another story:
The little girl reached behind her ear… And immediately pulled off a mask. In one swift motion, it was revealed she was not a little white girl, but a large black man! Quang Pao!
And that was a dead link, so this is what Tony looks like:
There's three main characters. Tony, Quang Pao (the the Black Russian Aryan), and Woman who doesn't suck at everything. They wield giant scissors, rock and paper respectively.
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About two and a half years ago, I joined a comedic roleplay for the first time, rather than an adventurous or dramatic one. This coined one of the strangely funniest characters I've ever conceived.
Here is the original character skeleton:
Name: Antonio Da Eduardo El Diego El Andrés El Montoya El Ramirez El Roberto El El Francisco (Tony for Short)
Age: 24
Weapon:
Super Strength: He has super strength. Yeah.
Rapier Skills: Eh? Eeeeeeeeeeh? EEEEEEEEHHHHHHH? Its innuendo. Get it?
Squirrel Grenades: This simple device sends out a powerful sonic pulse that disrupts squirrels' molecular structure, turning them into fiery furballs of flaming death. Unless you're really annoyed with squirrels, however, this weapon is of little use.
Giant Scissors: A giant pair of scissors, capable of raining mass destruction on paper of all sizes. Only destroyable by the giant rock.
Landmine that shoots Grenades filled with Nunchucks with Shuriken tips: Pretty... Self explanatory.
Bio: A mysterious man with a mysterious past. The few things we know is that every single one of his twelve ex-wives are 'widows' and that his grandparents have no children.
Personality: Incredibly Egotastic. Thinks because he can bend steel, that all the girls should bend over.
Appearance: http://www.themefancydress.com/ekmps/shops/online/images/musketeer-costume-with-shirt-trousers-boot-covers-hat-3961-p.jpg
Weakness:
His Mustache: Not just a staple part of his personality, but also his source of power. Destroying it will temporarily harm him, but it will regrow in several hours.
The lower back part of his upper forward shin: Also known as the opposite of the upper front part of his lower back thigh.Everyone seemed to enjoy Antonio, however the roleplay was short lived. Despite this I've kept the character alive, writing new content for him every now and then.
Here's the original post I made for him:
Welcome to the most incredible adventures of epic awesomeness.
Tony sat at the bus stop. His hand laid gently on the hilt of his sword. Next to him sat an elderly woman. Dried blood and other mysterious stains were scattered across the cement and covering.
As the bus pulled up, Tony checked his ticket. It was not the bus he was waiting for. The woman next to him got on, leaving him sitting there... alone. He sneezed once, getting bits of snot on his sleeve. How embarrassing.
He took out a handkerchief, and wiped up the snot. As he observed the disgusting green goo, sitting there in the handkerchief, he was disgusted. He did not want it anymore. He scanned the street for a wastebasket, in which he could dump the soiled cloth.
He spotted one. He slowly got up, making sure none of his enemies were around. He made his way over to the garbage receptacle. He took out the soiled handkerchief, noticing the snot had changed from a sickening green color, to a sickening brown color. He gagged a bit, as he dropped the cloth into the circular container of disposement.
Just then, he heard the sound of a bus, approaching at a steady speed with no signs of slowing down. He turned immediately, to see the bus he was waiting for, number 23, speeding past the stop. His eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. He had missed the bus. Now he will have to wait another full fifteen minutes to get on the next one.
No! He will not be made to wait that long. He sprung into action. He ran down the street at an incredible speed. He crashed into several people as he ran down the street. His sword probably impaled a few people by accident as well.
He lept from the sidewalk, landing on a moving taxi cab. The man in the car freaked out, and started to swerve erratically. Tony did all he could to fall from it.
As soon as he could, he hopped to another car. Then to another. He was getting closer to the bus. Suddenly, a traffic light. The bus passed through, then it suddenly changes to red. The car he is on stops. Though he will not give up. He did not come this far to be defeated.
He lept out onto the street, running for the bus. He was nearing his target, when it suddenly stopped. It was at the next spot on its course.
He quickly ran around, finding the doors, and stopping them just as it closed. He walked in, standing tall over everyone there.
"Welcome to bus 28." the bus driver said.
"What?!" Tony gasped. He looked at the number of the bus. It was 28! He must have misread it when he first saw it. Oh, miserable him.
He looked back at the traffic light. He saw bus 23 turning left.
Tony's look became intense. He looked up. "I apologize, people of this bus. Men, I shall prove my superiority to you later. Women, I will swoon you later. I must be off, for I have missed my bus!" he announced, and he hopped off the city transit vehicle. He ran down the street, eagerly trying to catch Bus 23.End.
I'm mostly interested in what you think of this character. If you think he's entertaining, worth reading, etc. If you guys like it, I'll post some other stuff I've written.
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thats what happens when you mess with
The Wizard
Switch to the wizard's point of view.
You are a powerful wizard. With a limitless supply of power coming forth from both your mind and your books, you are unstoppable.
However, because of your elegant mastery over the arcane arts, you constantly change shape and appearance. You have long lost your original form and name.
What do you call yourself now?
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(Sorry for the absence. I had a busy Saturday. Then I took my mother out for dinner).
Shake down the old man. Teach the hoodlums how to REALLY mug someone, city guard style
You decide to join the thugs in their mugging of the old man. After all, you're a guard. Top of the food chain. The macho-est macho man. The big ench-
Wait, what's that book?
Little did Richard know, the old man was actually a powerful sorcerer! Before Dick can react, the man casts a spell on the three of you.
When the magic fades, you and the thugs find you have changed shape. "Cunts." the wizard says as he struts away.
You are faced with a dilemma. You find you can no longer speak. You should probably break the curse.
How do you proceed?
Knuckle likes this -
Kill the chicken.
listen in on the conversation those hoodlums are having with the old man, and rescue him from the potential mugging
WARNING: BLOOD AND GORE
The first idea to pop into your head is to kill the chicken.
So you do.
However, you also notice two hoodlums possibly mugging a man. So, as discreetly as you can, you walk over and hide behind a bush, blood swishing in your boots the whole way.
"Give us all your money, old man!" you overhear.
How do you react?
pheonix561 likes this -
Your name is Richard, or Dick for short. Not a short dick! Hahahaha... ha... *cough*... hm.
Today is your first day on duty. There are many things happening in the village. What do you investigate?
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For something like this, where you have all the sprite sheets, paint is literally all you need.
-Pick a fight with the dudes with swords
You approach the guards, confident in your ability to defeat them despite your lack of training and/or weapons.
Somehow, in a way you will never be able to comprehend, they defeat you in less than four seconds. You are thrown in jail, and fall unconscious.
You are a guard. Your whole life was spent preparing to serve as a... guard... and performing guardly duties. What is your name?
Teto and pheonix561 like this -
Go to the village go to the village. This is my adventure, move over folks.
Make out with the rock. Any of the rocks.
In a fit of fiery passion, your loins are set aflame by the sight of a nearby rock. You can no longer hold your feelings back, and you rush to kiss it.
However, you quickly realize what a weirdo sicko you are, and suppress your Geophilia.
You quickly sprint to the village.
You arrive at the village. It is bustling with activity. There are many you can speak to. What do you do?
(Sorry for the wait. I tried using photoshop but decided my skills with paint were better).
Knuckle, Teto and pheonix561 like this -
El Homo Numero Uno
Él Hốmṍ Nứméró Únǿ is the name! However, since none of your friends understand a lick of Spanish, they call you "Homer" for short.
Now you must decide what to do to get off your lazy ass. Visit the Princess in the castle, or go into the village?
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I think we both know why you're here.
It's time for an MS Paint adventure, constructed from old video game sprites.
Let's start out at your house. You are sitting out front, wasting the day away by not doing anything productive. What a dick.
What is your name?
Teto likes this -
Cascade sounds familiar. I don't think we ever talked much.
And yes, Vio Milanor is definitely a name I remember. Yo.
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Thanks guys.
Fierce Muffin, Knuckle. Good to see you again. Pheonix, I may have known you by a different name. And it'll be fun to get to know you, Silver Moon.
Anyway, my return will probably be slow and gradual. Thank you for the warm welcome, though.
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Hello, Hyrule.netters. I don't know if any of you remember me, and I don't expect any of the newer users to know who I am. I used to visit this forum frequently, at first for roleplaying but later on for the community.
Just saying that I'm back after a about two and a half years.
Are Teto, The Real Booster Gold, and Young Link Addict still around?
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Tappy found the article that inspired this.
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Eh. It counts.
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Its simple. Just change a line from a movie or show, to show how it would have ended something. Heres a few examples.
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Hello friends. I've recently made an interesting discovery, called Cleverbot.
It is an AI program that you can have conversation with. You can say anything to it, and it will usually come up with a reasonable answer.
Here's a conversation I just had with it.
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User: Hello, Cleverbot. How are you today?
Cleverbot: I'm wonderful today. How are you?
User: I am good. Thank you for asking.
Cleverbot: Can you keep a secret?
User: Sure. What is it?
Cleverbot: Count to ten.
User: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!
Cleverbot: No, count upwards to ten.
User: I did.
Cleverbot: Count to ten aloud!
User: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!!
Cleverbot: No, count upwards to ten.
User: You're so bossy.
Cleverbot: No I think thats you because I did not say anything but how are you and hello!
User: You're so bossy.
Cleverbot: So?
User: Ugh. I'm leaving. Goodbye.
Cleverbot: No! Don't go
.User: Goodbye!
Cleverbot: Bonsoir!
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It learns from its conversations with people, so sometimes it might say something random. But its fun to play around with.
Feel free to check it out, and post your conversations! If you press the 'Thoughts so far' button, it will give you the entire conversation.
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Star Wars: The Old Republic? Sure, the trailer at E3 looked kind of neat, but I think it's only available on PC and the 360. I'd have to wait until it crosses platforms or I get a better computer.
Its going to be for the 360? That would be awesome.
Anyway, they said they were going to try and make it playable for older computers.
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This has been a rare sighting of the 'Du5t1n.'
Of course, pheo had to go and scare it away.
An MS Paint Adventure
in Forum Games
Posted · Edited by Marquis (see edit history)
Mustering all your might, you valiantly whine at the guards, demanding to see the head magistrate immediately.
Your efforts pay off, as after several minutes of them kicking you in the stomach, they get fed up you and decide to just call the magistrate, and assemble a courtroom.
However, the guards were unable to locate the head magistrate. He must be on vacation or something. Maybe he's dead. Who knows. But, in lieu of the magistrate, they instead chose the handsomest man in town to judge you. This guy.
"Homer. You are accused to roughhousing and general tom-foolery, as well as attempting to intimidate the guards. What do you have to say in your defense?" the handsome man asks, with a hair flip.
Meanwhile...
Gathering all your magic power, you prepare a powerful swipe at the door. This should take it down!
Although it was your most powerful swiping-type spell, it had no effect on the door. There must be some strange protective sorcery at work here...
What is your next attempt to get inside?