It's my turn to speak my mind.

[Arcane 12]

There's been a lot of people opening up and talking about their life lately. (Namely Shadowknight, and now Teto) It's been nice. I like all the friendliness and sympathy. It got me thinking though, about my life. Shadowknight, I'm kind of jealous. You've got a great life. My life's been boring and uneventful. There hasn't been any life-changing events that have affected me personally. There hasn't been a special girl in my life. Sure, I've had childish fancies, and I know of at least one girl who likes or recently liked me, but I haven't found one that I'm really in love with. That's why I try to be a nice person, I guess. If I don't have myself, well, then I'd have nothing. As long as I try to be kind to everyone, it's all bearable. But occasionally it's hard to resist a sarcastic comment or rude remark. If I ever offend anyone or seem to be going down-hill, I apologize and please tell me.

I think I know my problem. I've been too lazy my whole life. I don't eat that healthily. I don't exercise as much as I should. Relaxing is just more comfortable. I don't volunteer to do things near as much as I should. I'm a terrible procrastinator. Heaven knows how many times I've let myself and others down.

Not only that, but I've been afraid. Not of anything physical, but of what others think. I guess this fits in with how I try to be nice. I don't want people to think poorly of me. There are so many things I wanted to say, but wasn't brave enough too. How many things have I thrown away due to fear?

Lastly, I'm not perfect. There are many things that I feel guilty about, but haven't repented for. I'm trying to be better.

I'm sorry, but I just felt the need to post this. I wanted to tell someone all this. I wanted to tell myself all this. Please don't have pity on me. I hate pity. I just needed to get this off my chest.

And with that, I'm off to bed.

[Michael 290]

No body is perfect. I feel that I should make a post similar to this about how my life is going (not so good currently). Buuuuut I don't really want to. There may be a few people that know one of the big things that has happened to me.

I'm also lazy and procrastinate... doing nothing seems better than doing something in my opinion but that's just 100% lazyness.

[zeldafiendX 0]

nah yu have a good life so dont crack!

[Young Link Addict 67]

I too am lazy. Funny thing is I've been trying to get a girl friend since like 3rd grade. Don't ask long story that I have little rememberance of.

[Shadowknight 54]

Hmm. You know, my life is in fact void of the monotony and uneventfulness that is present in the lives of so many people my age. You know, yesterday my coach told me that I was by far the unluckiest kid ton then tennis team. What's funny is that he only knows of the physical pains and changes I experience, because I have to tell him to avoid further injury.

Perhaps my childhood did it. I mean, is it really necessary for a child of five years to go into Tae Kwondo and stay in for as long as he had been alive? Sure, I got my second-degree black belt. I could defend myself right now of I had to. It's the reason I have the respect that I do. It's why I'm a pacifist. Really, most aspects of my personality could be traced back to Tae Kwondo, as it pretty much was my childhood.

There was another part of my childhood too. School. I was always an intellectual, respectful of others, more mature than my peers. Because I was more mature, few people really wanted to hang around me. I didn't really do the childish things that they did. That lack of company, I suppose, is what made me so quiet and reserved. An introvert, as it were.

Then, middle school. I hated it. The people were even bigger idiots than I remembered, and they now had a vocabulary to match their lacking intelligence. This, my friends, was where I lost faith in people. I made up my mind that as soon as my generation got into power, we were screwed. Really, this thought still lingers in my mind sometimes.

Seventh grade was the worst time, but it was the best time as well. I suffered through the worst betrayal I've known, but this led me to some things and people that ultimately led me to become a Christ follower. The betrayal was why I sealed up my heart so tight and stopped letting anyone new in. It hurt a lot, especially as it was one of my close friends who turned on me.

Now, all of this has led to where I am now. I started opening up, but I got hurt again and retreated into my shell, so to speak. I've seen that there is better, though, so I'm finding it hard to stay here. I don't think I'll find another girl to replace Kelsey, or even come close for that matter. She is exactly what I need right now, and if we must stay just friends for the time being, so be it. I hope some day she'll figure out what she needs to understand, and figure out how she feels. And eventually, I hope, we'll be able to try again. You know, I think she probably feels the same way. She's certainly put that sign out there. I, however, am such an odd person. I don't think I've ever met anyone like me. I can see how it would be a bit hard to go from settling for what less than you hoped, as she said when we first met, to me. Not that I'm better, I'm just so different. I think she needs some time in the midst of all that's happened to her to come to terms with that fact. Because when you get down to it, she's a lot like me, only without the Tae Kwondo to holdbher back.

Wow, I totally just took your topic and finished spilling my guts in it. I apologize.

Let me say this: I don't know if I have a great life. I do have a better life than some people, though, and quite frankly, with all the stuff that keeps happening to me, I'm happy to even be alive.

Good luck with your soul-seeking. If you need anything from me, just ask and I'll do my best.

[Arcane 12]

Thanks guys.

I've got a lot more to say, but I can't at the moment, as I should be leaving for school.

[Teto 2609]

There's been a lot of people opening up and talking about their life lately. (Namely Shadowknight, and now Teto) It's been nice.

Good to know I haven't been annoying what with all the talking about myself.

I think I know my problem. I've been too lazy my whole life. I don't eat that healthily. I don't exercise as much as I should. Relaxing is just more comfortable. I don't volunteer to do things near as much as I should. I'm a terrible procrastinator. Heaven knows how many times I've let myself and others down.

Yeah, me too. I love my procrastination though. it goes hand in hand with my lack of determination which both keep my anorexia, I'm sure I have, at bay. I mean, I look in the mirror and think, 'man I'm gaining weight', when my gut only extends a few millimeters further out than my rib cage and when I suck in my gut, I can grab the inside of my ribs with little effort.

Lastly, I'm not perfect. There are many things that I feel guilty about, but haven't repented for. I'm trying to be better.

Same here, Arcanelord. I have many things I'm not proud of like running Specever out, which I'm still trying to fix, I'll have you know, but that too goes with my lack of determination as I can't really push myself to fix things.

I'm sorry, but I just felt the need to post this. I wanted to tell someone all this. I wanted to tell myself all this. Please don't have pity on me. I hate pity. I just needed to get this off my chest.

No problem, I'm sure. Everybody needs to let out what's on their mind as opposed to keeping it bottled up like I had been for so long. It really helped me in an unbelievable way. I feel far more confident and free to be myself. It's great to feel like this every waking moment and I hope it stays this way.

Telling the truth was the best thing I ever did.

[Grandmaster Phoenix 26]

Wow, execpt for certian political and legal views(with some members. some of you break the law), im like a freaking mirror image of you all.

Edited 19 Mar 2009 by Doubleagent (see edit history)

[Teto 2609]

Don't flatter yourself.

[Arcane 12]

Don't argue in my thread.

(I win. :'D)

Edit: Whar'd 'is post go off to...

Edited 20 Mar 2009 by Arcanelord (see edit history)

[Cat Girl 0]

I'm glad you can confide in us, Arlord.

I'd been like that for a long time in my life, but now my emotions... I'm just been pushed into a new instinct with stuff like that lately. I either show almost no emotion, or a break down(usually when alone). I'm tending to lose my reigns on my temper and lash out at people now, too.

I'm getting so lazy, it's making me sick. I'm at the point where someone suggests to do something, and I'm all, "Oh, yeah! That'd be so awesome! Let's do that! ... Later..." and I never do it because I don't feel like it.

Edited 20 Mar 2009 by Cat Girl (see edit history)

[Arcane 12]

I don't show a lot of emotion either, but I'm getting more open in real life. I'm definately more happy and outgoing then I used to be, but I'm still often reserved. Depends on my mood and situation, I guess.

I rarely crack though. Especially for anger. I'm good at controlling that. There are only four or five people who can piss me off when ever they want.

I sometimes can't help but crying, though, when my feelings are really hurt or something's very, very emotional and personal. It takes a lot to get the tears going, but when it rains it pours, if you get my drift. I'm trying to get better at holding that back...

---

I want to say something, but I'm too tired to talk about it... Later.

[Bolero Of Fire 0]

Wow. Sorry to hear that your life isn't the best ever. I have been away for a year (Yes you shouldn't know me LOL) and when I was 14 my life was very similar. I had problems all the time and to make it worse I had a weird fear of death that kept me up till 1 am. You shouldn't worry about these types of things. My little brother (11) is making a portable N64 (Ya wow) and I'm jealous. But back to the point just instead of saying I wanna do this or that go and read up on things. You should find a hobby if you dont have one and stick to it ( I have a personal liking of electronics) maybe you should think about the positives and get out. Instead of playing a game of StarCraft (Not saying you like it) go and call a friend see if he wants to go bowling. I see you maybe want a girlfriend and don't worry about it. You might find soon that you fall in love but even I don't have one. Don't worry about love at 14 you have more than 20 years to find one. But NEVER just try and get a girlfriend just to have one. Long post aside maybe even ask your parents about what you should do, your parents are the people who created you they will always love you no matter what.

[Negation 1]

You think your life sucks? Well, I can name literally millions of people who are less fortunate than you. Let's try all the 3rd-world countries, 3 of my friends, and me.

Bolero, shrink your sig. Like, a lot.

Edited 20 Mar 2009 by Taco_Ninja (see edit history)

[Du5t1n 57]

Reading the first post, I had to look at make sure I hadn't sleep-written it. Reading it sounded like I had written it...

Well, just in case you built a time machine, went to the future, and became me and lost your memory so I'm typing back to myself, my advice is this since I'm older and still feeling the same way:

Change now.

NOW.

Practice being outgoing.

Get involved in things.

Put yourself in situations to meet new people, even if it's hard or even downright miserable for you.

Exercise now and get good eating habits. You can lose weight now a billion times easier than you can when you're older. You don't want to end up having health problems in a few years. Being overweight and/or eating very unhealthy is very hard on your body, both physically AND mentally.

Explore life.

It may seem hard now for you, but it only gets more difficult if you don't choose to make the changes you know you need to make. You are setting yourself up for the rest of your life, so you need to start shaping it the way you want it to be. There's always a chance to change, but the sooner the better. It's easier to cut bad habits and alter negative or undesirable behavior at earlier ages and stages in life.

Hmm, does it sound like I'm speaking from regret? I have social anxiety and it makes it quite difficult for me to make friends. The friends I do have mostly have social anxiety too so that's actually bad in a way. Once I'm comfortable around someone I'm just normal around them. But until then, I'm terribly uncomfortable and just want to get away from the situation. I'm sure a lot of people on here can relate to that as a lot of those that are likely to spend time on this site are likely to not be the most outgoing, though there are of course exceptions. You guys really do need to work on these things while you're young though. I promise you that in the blink of an eye you will be 25. My mom says the same thing about becoming 50. The older you get, the faster time flies. When you're young, your mind and body changes a great deal in 1 year. However, as you get older there is less change and the years just fly by. Work for the change, challenge your mind and body. Don't let FEAR keep you from doing what you want to do. Don't be afraid of what others think, what bad stuff might happen, what might go wrong. Just enjoy life without FEAR. Sing by Dresden Dolls is a good song about that. These days if you break into singing a song you like around others, they will look at you funny and you will feel bad. That's terrible. It instills fear into people just for singing a song. How sad is it that our culture tries to keep us afraid...

Sorry for hijacking the thread.... Be happy, guys. Life is beautiful and full of great things, but we all need to work to remember that and keep working towards it.