jokes

[Teto 2609]

"I love the wind and it loves me! We're running away together!"

"Where will you go?"

"Wherever the wind takes us"

heeeeeee

[pheonix561 2080]

I don't get it

[Teto 2609]

Then you're thick

Tell another joke!

[Cascade 741]

o u so lame teto

oh hey I've passed 2000 posts now, arghhhh I need to get off this site :<

[Teto 2609]

oooh Cascade thinks need off site???

I had that kind of feeling before. But now I have 14,000 posts.

You're just having a forum equivalent to a midlife crisis.

[Padraig! 103]

i asked my japanese estate agent whether there where any schools in the area.

she said, 'not now, but just wait'.

my japanese girlfriend dumped me. no big deal, plenty more in the sea.

apparently these jokes go quite well in the west, but they just sink in japan.

[Teto 2609]

Reposts

Me and my mate were rating girls out of 10. He didn't look too impressed when I gave the Japanese girl an 8.9.

Japanese are crazy man. All they drink is aftershocks.

I just rung my Japanese friend to make sure he was okay after the Tsunami and all he did was go on about his social life.

Just kept going on and on about a huge rave.

Looks like japanese ice cream might not survive the meltdown in the summer.

[pheonix561 2080]

Texas

[Teto 2609]

pheo's life

[pheonix561 2080]

3 guys, 1 Irish, 1 English and 1 Scotch, are walking along the beach one day and come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Irish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

So, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlKaZoom" the oceans were teaming with fish.

The English guy was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that nothing will get in for all eternity.

Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlkaZoom - POOF" there was a huge wall around England. The Scot asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

The Scot says, "Ach, fill it up with water."

How do you disperse an angry Scottish mob?

Nae bother - just take up a collection.

How do you get a Highlander onto the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the house.

A Scots pessimist is a man who feels badly when he feels good for fear he'll feel worse when he feels better.

What do you call six weeks of rain in Scotland?

Summer!

A Scottish fitba fan told his mate, "My dug watches all the games. When my team wins it jumps up and doon and claps its wee paws. When we lose it somersaults."

"Yer Kiddin me right? How many somersaults?" asked his impressed friend.

The Fitba fan replied, "depends how often I kick it..."

"Ah, Kyla, drinking makes you look so bonnie."

"But Donald, I dinna drink!"

"But I do!"

Why do pipers march when they play ?

To get as far away from the noise as possible.

THAT OUGHTA SHOW THAT BLOODY SCOT WHOS KINGATHAFORUMS ROUND HERE

[Cascade 741]

URGHHHHHH don't bring stuff I hear in my daily life here :<<<<<<<< evil yankee!

but I still laughed. I am such a terrible Scot :<

[Chase 390]

pheo isn't much of a Yankee, really.

[Teto 2609]

3 guys, 1 Irish, 1 English and 1 Scotch, are walking along the beach one day and come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Irish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

So, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlKaZoom" the oceans were teaming with fish.

The English guy was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that nothing will get in for all eternity.

Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlkaZoom - POOF" there was a huge wall around England. The Scot asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

The Scot says, "Ach, fill it up with water."

That's not a Scotsman joke, btw.

What do you call six weeks of rain in Scotland?

Summer!

Alternatively, "I love summer, it's my favourite day of the year!"

I'm still king of the forums by the way.

Actually that's more LL than anyone else.

Kinda.

[Arachne 25]

What's the difference between an onion and a bagpipe?

Nobody cries when you cut up a bagpipe.

How can you tell an introvert Finn from an extrovert Finn?

The extrovert looks at YOUR feet when he talks.

What does a Canadian say when you step on his feet?

Sorry.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

That's not funny.

What has nine arms and sucks?

Def Leppard.

[Max 10]

What has nine arms and sucks?

Def Leppard.

HAHAHA

What do you call an old black man?