Posted 12 Mar 2009 Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots Posted Today at 19:54 by Teto Yes, I'm a PS3 fan. I like Xbox360 too but I prefer the PS3. Deal with it. I've been piling up the games over a short period of times and the one game I bought my PS3 for in the first place has fallen to the bottom of my stack. I picked it up again today and viewed again for the first time in a long time. I felt very mean indeed for abandoning such a great game. The hours spent sneaking up behind people, knocking them unconscious and making it look like I was doing dirty things to them. These memories seemed far too distant for my liking. I had to play it again. *click* I pulled out the disc. The glimmering Blu-Ray shine of the underside was torn from my grasp by the hulking, muscular menace of a console and it swallowed my game whole. I screamed for help and felt tears of liquid fear track down my cheeks. They steadied as I remembered that that was meant to happen. I told myself to remember that next time I play a game on my Wii or PS3. The game loaded up. The same 'This game saves the whole ****ing time' report shone on the black background. I selected, as always, 'Yes. I don't give a damn if it does, just load the ****ing game'. The game loaded up. The various credits showed as usual before the eventual appearance of the title screen. 'New Game'. More opening credits show as the screen follows a Jeep somewhere in the middle-east. On board is Solid Snake of course, smoking away as usual. One would believe from the story later on in the game that it's his genes that are causing his age but I still believe that it's those damn cigarettes. SMOKING IS BAD, KIDDIES. Off the Jeep, he jumps into the battle and immediately into the cover of another Jeep like the ***** he is and loads up a gun, wastes the bullets testing it and then throws it to the ground, 'This electric knife will do'. (You never really notice how ****ing ridiculous the whole thing is until you play it through after a while) Another Jeep has crashed after the driver had taken a fatal blow to the head from a nearby sniper. I then proceed to launch Snake head first under the crashed Jeep and crawl to the other side and into the battle. Wow! 10 seconds of gameplay. Now it's time for a cutscene I guess. This shows nothing but the raging battle as Snake narrates about how everything in war is controlled and how prettily organised the whole affair of death has become. He then rolls stealthily across the battlefield (whereas if I did that in the game, I would be instantly gunned down by hoards of ****ing militia). He gets up and runs behind a crate. Back into the game, finally. Running over to the opposite wall of the small alleyway in which Snake has so cleverly rolled into, I find an ally militia (not a PMC of course) and he seems to be in pain. 'What's he got on 'im?' I roll into his head, knocking him unconscious. 'Sweet. A machine gun.' *gets it out and heads onwards to the clearing ahead where another friendly militia is stationed (if he is still friendly after my bashing in of his friend's head). I run into the clearing. ****. Another ****ing cutscene. That's 90% of the game so far sucked up by this ****. Anyway, the battle goes on and Snake continues stealthily (by that I mean crouching in plain sight) into the small clearing next to the main battle field. We see some of the PMCs being called away 'What's going on?'. There's a deadly silence as the gunfire ceases. The dopey militia idiots look into the air because it's obviously something to do with the sky. Then. The sound we have been dreading. Expecting. Fearing with a harsh passion. "MOO!" HOLY ****! FARMERS! There are crashing sounds around the battlefield as Gekko drop in on the party. 'Oh, Gekko are pussies anyway. No need for worry, folks.' the last Gekko falls in, impaling a Militia soldier in it's toe. '****.' They proceed to lay to waste the other Militia and the camera zooms in on Snake who bears a very angry and determined look on his moustachioed face. Back in-game at ****ing last. I turn away from the battlefield as trying to tackle the Gekko would be a ****ing waste of time. That geek, Otacon, comes in through magic earpiece headphones or something and reminds you as if you hadn't already guessed that they were unbeatable without some kind of death ray type thing. I crawl under some unstable looking rubble as Snake can't grasp the concept of climbing over a chest high piece of rock yet. On the other side, the coast is clear. I run, crouching, along up until a turn off to the battlefield. As I near the corner, a Gekko lands softly (by softly I mean earthquake inducingly) infront of me, not noticing my being there at all. I take this moment to run for the other end of the alley and the chase is on! I sprint to the other side of the alley and jump behind a box for cover as boxes are like Gods in the Metal Gear universe. I pant after the thrill of the chase and look around the side of the box to view my pursuer. Oh, look. He's still there. Look at him. Just standing there. He hasn't even moved his ****ing head. Hmmm. Anyway, time to leave here. I round the corner to the northern area of the battlefield. Ha, there's the trusty archway, always waiting for me. I run to it, into the open I bound like a giddy little schoolgirl with a moustache, wrinkles and a skin tight rubber stealth suit underneath some weird middle eastern robes. Let's just imagine it though... A schoolgirl... With a moustache, wrinkles and a skin tight rubber stealth suit underneath some weird middle eastern robes... Okay, I'm done scarring you for life. Let's continue. Another Gekko lands next to me, but actually doing something for once. I fell to my back and it breaks like the brittle old man back I have. Nah, I wish. I survive and get up and quickly dive through the archway. Oh, look another ****ing cutscene. Damn, I'm sick of this. *beep* The PS3 spits out the disc and I shove it back in the casing and straight to the bottom of the stack. *sigh* I need to play another gun game... Something that wont piss me off so much... Metal Gear Solid 4 ~ War has changed. Fallout 3 ~ War. War never changes. Well if my train of thought is on the right track, which I believe it is, this must mean that Fallout 3 wont piss me off. *click* I pulled out the disc. The glimmering Blu-Ray shine of the underside was torn from my grasp by the hulking, muscular menace of a console and it swallowed my game whole. I screamed for help and felt tears of liquid fear track down my cheeks. Conclusion: Blogging is fun. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 12 Mar 2009 I used to have a blog, but I rarely ever updated it, and I never had anything interesting to say... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 12 Mar 2009 I have one. I haven't updated it in awhile. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 12 Mar 2009 (edited) 4 MINUTES, PEOPLE, 4 EFFIN MINUTES!!! GOOD GOD TEN THOUSAND FISTS IS PUMPING ME UP!!! EDIT 3... EDIT 2... EDIT 1... LOOK AT THE ARMIES THREAD Edited 12 Mar 2009 by HylianForrunner (see edit history) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 12 Mar 2009 I'm doing homework, and fighing. What do you know brains, and brawns. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 12 Mar 2009 Lol. I don't think brawn can be plural. xD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 12 Mar 2009 It can't. Interesting. War. AN UNHEARD OF TOPIC Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 12 Mar 2009 Now class. Does anyone know what that accent is called? (I do, but I want to see if you do too) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 12 Mar 2009 Now class. Does anyone know what that accent is called? (I do, but I want to see if you do too) I don't know what it's called, or how to do it! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 12 Mar 2009 I don't know what it's called, or how to do it! That's what she said!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 12 Mar 2009 That's what she said!! To your face! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted 12 Mar 2009 The Accent mark is no as-L'accent aigu (In french at least) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
