She dumped me for no reason. . .

[Goron Merchant 1]

Well. Everything's going pretty well. . .

It doesn't look like we'll be getting back together, but I've got a cool friend.

[Cat Girl 0]

You confuse me...

[Goron Merchant 1]

This is so hard. Start from the bottom and read up. . .

VVVVVVVV

I dont want to smoke pot. I dont want you out of my life.

I'm selfish for saying that though you probably already knew.

I really hope you are happy.

I really hope your life is as amazing as it should be.

I'm sorry it had to end this way.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 4, 2008 9:32 AM

I've already told you everything that I can. I'm sorry Aevah. Smoke pot, do whatever you want. Don't worry about me. I'm gone.

I don't want to be a part of your life anymore.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 04 Feb 2008, 08:28

what?

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 4, 2008 9:26 AM

Don't act like that. I never said that at all. Do whatever you want. . .

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 04 Feb 2008, 08:23

You dont mean that...

I never said that at all. I'm not ignoring anything. Are you saying that you can't look past the fact that I smoked pot and didn't tell you?

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 4, 2008 9:19 AM

You're right. I suppose you never changed at all. I apparently didn't know you to begin with.

Well what do you want to happen? Ignore this all and pretend I never said anything? I can't do that Aevah. Of course I forgive you, but everything isn't magically going to be better. I still feel the same way. I'm sorry, but I can't just look past everything. I'm not as good at acting as you.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 04 Feb 2008, 08:14

The Aevah you knew? I dont quite know what you mean with that. Have I changed over night?

Okay. I'm sorry I did this to you. You are my best friend, I'm sorry I've let you drown in all of these things left unsaid. I'm sorry you have to hurt so much. This is all my fault. I wish there was something I could do to make it better.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 4, 2008 9:02 AM

I still want to be with you. Of course I do. I just can't keep doing it. Things will always come up and sooner or later I will always just be hurting again. I still love the Aevah I knew, but I'm more confused than ever about who that is. What we shared is something that I will never forget, even if I can't comprehend it. I just can't keep fooling myself. I'm still in love with you. Even the smallest things hurt. They build up. They feel so personal. I can't be with you anymore. I'm drowning.

I just need some time to think. . .

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 04 Feb 2008, 07:52

But I will heal.

I know I'm much better off hurt than indifferent.

And it doesn't matter that you broke your promise.

You're only human, right?

How can that be?

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 4, 2008 8:47 AM

I hurt you. I promised that I would never hurt you. I. . Sigh.

. . . its a true as ever.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 04 Feb 2008, 07:44

All what?

Did I not get what I deserved?

No, you gave me your heart in writing.

I know that what you said isn't true anymore, but it means so much that once upon a time it did. That means so much more than any gift I could ever give you.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 4, 2008 8:39 AM

After all of this? I don't think so.

All I gave you, after all, was a piece of paper. You don't owe me anything.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 04 Feb 2008, 07:37

Of course you do.

Why would you say you dont?

I owe you a Christmas present.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 4, 2008 8:36 AM

I don't deserve a gift from you.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 04 Feb 2008, 07:36

Dont have to what?

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 4, 2008 8:35 AM

Aevah. . .

You don't have to. .

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 04 Feb 2008, 07:19

Umm, can I ask you to do me one favor?

I know it's horrible and selfish to ask you to do this, but,

When your christmas present arrives...

Will you take it?

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 4, 2008 8:10 AM

Who are you? No one can tell you that but yourself.

Goodbye, Aevah.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 04 Feb 2008, 07:08

Who am I, then?

I'm sorry, Raleigh.

I know that means nothing.

Less than nothing.

I will stop defending myself now.

I'm a selfish *****.

Goodbye.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 4, 2008 8:04 AM

Oh shut up. Not telling me everything? You knew it was important to me, why the hell else would I of freaked out with the Adrienne thing?

I can't stand it anymore. Any of it, and I'm glad its ending now.

You aren't who I thought you were, Aevah.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 04 Feb 2008, 06:59

Um, I didn't tell you because I didn't ever see the point. And there wasn't exactly a conversation opening, did you want me to randomly say "Guess what? I got high!" I wasn't ever keeping the truth from you, if you had asked me (which you did) then I would have told you (which I did).

Gone behind your back? Smoking pot was going behind your back? I did not realize this. But Raleigh? I'm sorry. I have been selfish. Yesterday instead of just accepting the fact that you didn't want to be friends, I pushed it a bit too far. And I probably should have made it easier for you, instead, I fed you hard, raw emotion. I'm sorry I let you make most of the effort. I'm sorry I didn't leave you anything physical. I hope one day I can understand why not telling you absolutely everything means lying.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 4, 2008 7:41 AM

Lies don't have to be direct to make an impact Aevah. I know you're not stupid. Why else wouldn't you tell me about over Christmas Break?

I don't know how many times you've gone behind my back, but I'm confident that this wasn't the only one. And don't pretend that you didn't know. I can't believe you.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 04 Feb 2008, 06:37

Lies?

I dont recall lying to you.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 4, 2008 7:27 AM

If after more than 9 months the only personal, physical thing I have to remember you by is a gum wrapper from a night you probably don't recall, there's a problem.

These are feeling that I can't keep ignoring and burying because they will inevitably keep surfacing.

You've been awful to me, Aevah, and I just hope that you do better with the next guy. Your selfish inability to get over yourself and these dumb insecure promises is too much to go against. You never stopped lying through your teeth.

I'm not sure how much more blunt I can get. Don't think for a second that this isn't hard for me.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 20:01

I wish you didn't have to do that.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 3, 2008 8:09 PM

Then don't say anything.

I'll never stop loving you. Goodbye, Aevah.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 19:08

I dont think I have anything left to say.

I've already said it.

a million times, too,

it seems.

I am done being vunerable.

That ball is in your court.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 3, 2008 8:02 PM

I don't want to be cold or indifferent. I hate myself for this because I will never stop loving you.

I want to be with you forever, but at the same time I don't. I just know that this will happen again. That I can't see eye to eye with you about everything.

Please don't hurt. I don't want you to hurt.

There's nothing wrong with you. This is all me.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 18:59

You dont need to be so cold.

Can't you see that you really hurt me?

I'm sorry for being a selfish ***** about this, but if you are going to start sending me these cold and indfferent messages again, just...please dont bother.

What are you trying to prove?

I really dont want to argue with you.

please.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 3, 2008 7:52 PM

I was talking about how futile making up would be.

Whatever, Aevah. Do you think that would change anything? I'm not that shallow. I promised myself that If you said no the 2nd time, I would never ask again. I broke that on New Years, regrettably.

But don't you see? None of it matters.

Is this the part where I'm supposed to apologize and beg for you back? That isn't going to happen.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 18:44

I dont quite know what you are trying to say.

You wanted me to forget about you, and now you're talking about making up. And I cant believe I just admitted that I was hurt. I once made a promise to myself that I would never admit that anyone had ever hurt me. I make so many promises to myself that I cant keep. Did you know that I sortove developed feeling for you on halloween? I was almost going to maybe ask you out. But then certain circumstances beyond my control formed. And yeah.

Anyways, we have probably reached the point in this conversation when I'm supposed to say I have nothing else to say to you.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 3, 2008 7:33 PM

Aevah. . .

I . . .

Why do you care about me so much? Just forget it.

You're not disgusting, and don't be disappointed with yourself. How were you supposed to know?

Like you said, its inevitable. Even if we make up, things will only be jolly for so long, then straight back to this. There is no way for it to remain good forever. Like always, we'll just have fluctuating moods.

I can't bring myself to do it all again. Things will be good for so long. . .

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 18:26

And I dont get

why you took it personally.

Maybe I just dont get

you

at all.

and why

is this breaking me?

Once I thought I was unbreakable

But somehow I'm actually shaking.

And my mom keeps telling me to work on my research paper.

And I should be

working on school aplications

or cleaning.

But instead I'm just sitting here

letting it all just spill out.

And I know I am being unnesesarily dramatic

and yes,

I am disgusted

with myself.

Because I want you to heal.

I would rather you be happy,

than me.

But I cant help it.

because somehow

inevitably,

inextricably,

you are breaking me.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 3, 2008 7:15 PM

I don't know what to tell you.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 18:05

My fingers flew across the keys

As I tried to comprehend

Why you do

Such vexing things

You were just here

I don’t understand.

Sheets and sheets of snow

Fall like a curtain across the ground

Burying with it,

What we had

Once upon a time.

And I wish I could lie down in that snow

And be buried along with the past

I wish I could just disappear.

I wish forgetting was that easy.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 3, 2008 7:00 PM

My other friends don't matter as much to me as you. I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much. I can't stand myself, for it, but I can't help it either. I can't get over the feeling that it will always be like this. I don't wan to be competing, and I don't want to hurt anymore. I'm a selfish asshole who wants to forget you to heal his own damn heart by breaking yours, if that makes it easier. Please just do me a favor and forget me.

You didn't do anything wrong. You're the most wonderful, beautiful, outgoing, amazing, girl that I have ever met. Ever. Any guy to so much as talk to you is the luckiest guy in the world. Get on with your life. You don't need me.

I love you.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 17:52

Oh.

See, this is why I have secrets.

I used to keep so many secrets that you got fed up

and you said we couldn't be friends.

So I changed for you

And stopped keeping so much inside.

I see now that that was a mistake.

And I dont see you telling all your other friends

To forget you because they smoked pot.

It only matters that I did

because I cant be prefect.

You want me

to shut up and go away

because of that?

Maybe I thought our frendship

was stronger than that.

Maybe I thought

you would see past that.

If you asked me

to never smoke pot again

I would never smoke pot again.

but you would rather

just forget me.

Well I'm just naive.

So damn naive.

So I guess that's all

I have to say to you.

That's enough.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 3, 2008 6:36 PM

I . . . can't.

I was hoping that I had left somewhat of an impact. Even after you saw how irrelevantly moody I got after the whole thing before Adrienne left, I can't believe that you smoked again less than a few weeks later. And god knows how many other times as well.

Maybe its for the better. If I can't deal with that, well. . .

I'm too touchy over subjects that barely matter and you're not going to change, nor should you. Maybe its for the better.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 17:14

Raleigh, You're not holding me back.

You're not a pain.

You're not a nuisance.

I am happy,

or,

atleast,

I was.

I dont feel like I need to hang out with you.

I dont want to get away from you.

I dont want to see you less.

And I dont know what you mean about nagging.

Please just tell me why.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 3, 2008 6:08 PM

Yes.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 17:07

It is important to you that I forget about you?

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleigh

Date: Feb 3, 2008 6:06 PM

I can't give you a reason, but you don't need one. Just know that this is important to me.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 17:03

Yes it matters. If you want me to forget you, atleast give me a reason. Please?

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleight

Date: Feb 3, 2008 6:01 PM

Does it matter?

Just. . . please.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 16:58

...you want me to just forget about you? Why?

Raleigh I love you too. In the friend sort of way. The best friend sort of way. I want you in my life forever. Why are you doing this?

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleight

Date: Feb 3, 2008 5:54 PM

It doesn't matter. If you care about me, then you'll forget me.

I love you, and I always will.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 16:50

Hold up, what?

Where did all this come from?

What do you mean about nagging?

Why do you think you are holding me back?

What!?

I dont understand.

I am utterly bamboozled.

I cannot comprehend.

Please explain.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleight

Date: Feb 3, 2008 5:44 PM

I. . .

I'm just irksome. I care about you so much, and I always will. But I feel so nagging, and plaguing. I don't want to hold you back, which is exactly what I feel like I'm doing. I suppose I've become a pain. A nuisance.

I just want you to be happy. Don't feel like you need to hang out with me. Don't consider my feelings. If you want to get away from me, or even just see me less. . .

Please. . .

Just forget me.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 16:32

Forget you?

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: Raleight

Date: Feb 3, 2008 5:31 PM

Please. . .

Just forget me.

----------------- Original Message -----------------

From: _

Date: 03 Feb 2008, 15:25

Raleigh?

[=Zoe= 3]

Oh damn... I can't believe this...

I'm so sorry Merchant... it must be horrible how you're feeling, I don't even know what to say.

I would give you a hug if I could. Damn...

Hand in there, is not the end of the world

[Goron Merchant 1]

But what should I do. . .?

I'm so lost. I want it to be done with and I want to move on, but at the same time I want to see her once a week like always. I love her just as much as I always have. Would she even take me back?

[=Zoe= 3]

I want it to be done with and I want to move on, but at the same time I want to see her once a week like always. I love her just as much as I always have.

I see that... I'm going trough something alike this.

You need time to think what you want for you, if she's the right answer right now, or if it would be better to just leave her behind and move on.

You need to think that, is she's worth this? Is she worth the things she has done and she has told you by now? Or is she only someone who has hurt you and is better to leave behind?

I think you're the only one who can answer these questions Merchant.

[Gingerlink 2]

If you opened up like that to how you felt about her, it's probabbly how you do feel, stick to your guns and don't do anything if you think you might be lying to yourself.

Sometimes it's harder to lie to someone you like than to yourself.

[.Jamison 0]

I'm right there with ya. Exept for it happened a long time ago for me. and now the same chick want me to go out with her again. ::

[Max 10]

But what should I do. . .?

dooooood, I actually have an answer... make your life into a musical. whenever someone asks a difficult question,break out into song and stuff... it's really quite a picker-upper

[Goron Merchant 1]

I wish life was a musical. . .

[Twili 0]

The Sound of Music type musical or the Sweeney Todd type?

[Goron Merchant 1]

Across the Universe type.

[Gingerlink 2]

or all three mixed together...

actually, just Sweeney Todd and Across the Universe...

[Musicale Personna 0]

It is my honest opinion that most women are actual nutcases, guys are at least easy to understand.

Hey! I'm a woman, and I'm not a nutcase!! (At least that's what I think...am I?) But yeah, guys are easy to understand-IF YOU'RE ALSO A GUY!!!! I have NO clue why my boyfriend broke up with me! I mean, I asked him if it was because I moved and he said "no". I asked him if it was because we didn't really see each other every day anymore and he said "no". It turns out he has feelings for a girl at my old school, Destyne. She looks like a poodle. I swear. Her hair is so curly and bushy, and she gets perms!!! How retarded is that?! Her hair is already curly, why get a perm? I hate her, too. She was always so mean and judgemental about Ricky and me as a couple. My friend just told me the news about two minutes ago. She's on the phone that's up to my ear right now.

...Or do I have that opinion just because she's going out with my ex? I think I am a nutcase. Oh well.

I'm so sorry, GM. That's pretty cold, to break up over MySpace. Please accept my condolences. (I sound like I'm talking to someone at a funeral!) But seriously, I'm really sorry. Here's a funny picture to cheer you up! Isn't it lovely? It's real. I saw it yesterday and I took a picture of it!

[Eka 387]

Wow. 10 pages.

This topic has lasted 10 pages!!! Have we gone off topic yet? (Must have by now..)