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Hats are dumb and I don't like them

20 posts in this topic

Posted

I don't like hats. I have never worn hats. Some people wear them for practical purposes and I get that; my dad wears a hat when he golfs every day (well it's a visor but whatever). I understand that if you're a construction worker or a wizard then you have to wear a hat as part of your job/incredibly awesome pastime. I'd wager about 50% of hat wearers have hats for such purposes and my rant isn't about those people.

My beef is with the other 50%. These are people who wear hats as a form of expression, sometimes just following a trend, other times trying to borrow from the cultural implications a hat has. Cowboy hats are the classic example; practically nobody wears a cowboy hat and then goes out to herd livestock all day, it's a hat about taking all the cultural significance of cowboys and jamming it on you head to make other people think things about you. The Fedora (and occasionally the Trilby) have recently been vilified as the hat of pseudo-intellectuals and manchildren in a similar manner, and I figure enough has been said on that topic on other websites. Regardless, my point is that hats are probably the most connotatively rich clothing item people choose to wear; in almost every case changing your hat (or putting one on) alters your image more than changing your shoes/pants/shirt/etc.

And you know what? I think that's dumb and I'm not sure why. I love it when people change their hairstyle, or put on makeup, but hats just irk me in a weird way. I guess it's because hair/makeup is flexible and the way you change it can subtly alter what kind of impression you want to make. Hats, on the other hand, always give the same impression once you put it on your head and everything else you wear either compliments the hat or stands in gross contrast to it. Nobody is ever gonna pull off a baseball cap while wearing a suit and tie, for example.

Anyway, I think that's my two cents on hats, typed up at the crack of dawn for reasons I don't even know. Feel free to agree/disagree with me or talk about your own opinion on hats.

LLmao ?✊?, Ganny and Cassandra like this

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Posted

For real. I don't know what makes a male look at a hat and be like "I'm gonna be a hat guy". I especially don't get the guys who perfectly place their snapbacks carefully yet crookedly on their heads. Like, are we gonna puppy? Who is this for?

 

I mean I will throw on a baseball cap when I haven't showered and I have to run to the store real quick, but that's all. 

Knuckle likes this

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Posted

I regularly wear baseball caps since I have no clue how to style my hair. I've been told they look good on me, so yeah.

Straight-billed snapbacks with the stickers and tags still on them are still puppying stupid though

SilverAlchemic and Knuckle like this

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Posted

As a fan of Team Fortress 2, how could you.

Agreed.

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Posted

And after how gosh darn cute Connie looks in her sunhat in Steven Universe how dare you

Connie1.png

 

Connie_11.png

 

Knuckle and pheonix561 like this

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Posted

I was looking for a hat I usually associate with the norse god Odin and I found something confounding

http://www.zazzle.com/odin_the_great_norse_god_trucker_hat-148872176896351503

Odin Trucker hat. Huh. What cross section of humanity produces someone who likes Trucker Hats and is also an enthusiast of Norse Mythology. That's just bizarre

Knuckle likes this

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Posted

I was looking for a hat I usually associate with the norse god Odin and I found something confounding

http://www.zazzle.com/odin_the_great_norse_god_trucker_hat-148872176896351503

Odin Trucker hat. Huh. What cross section of humanity produces someone who likes Trucker Hats and is also an enthusiast of Norse Mythology. That's just bizarre

Knuckle likes this

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Posted

One of my favorites. Not American gods, but in Sandman theres a character in the background of a magical ritual with a shirt that has a cartoon duck on it saying, "Do as thou wilt, buster!"

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Posted (edited)

Don't start this again, Knuckle. I thought we'd moved on from this? Is it so hard to just let me wear my *Trilby in peace?

Edited by Werewolf (see edit history)
Knuckle likes this

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Posted

I do remember you having that pink hat from One Piece in your apartment when I visited and I thought that was awesome. One of the few hats I've ever liked. :P

Teto likes this

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Posted (edited)

I understand that if you're a construction worker or a wizard then you have to wear a hat as part of your job/incredibly awesome pastime. I'd wager about 50% of hat wearers have hats for such purposes and my rant isn't about those people.

Edited by Brodongo (see edit history)
Knuckle and Treemotan like this

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Posted

A fair question, and very wise of you to ask an esteemed wizard such as myself :D

There are a couple ways the Sorting Hat can deal with head lice. The first step is preemptive charming and spellweaving on the hat to remove bugs and any other unpleasantness. Of course, magical maladies could still persist, so the hat is tested and examined to identify any persisting problems the Sorting Hat might be having. If any children still don't want to wear the Sorting Hat after all these precautions, they have to live with Filch and learn to clean Hogwarts all day.

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Posted

Dude my entire school got puppying infected. Pheo got jeaous and then deliberately infected himself with it

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Posted

Pheo why

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