Thinking Teenage Intercourse is "Normal"

[Eka 387]

As far as I know, not very far at all. According to my friend, she didn't even know she was pregnant until the miscarriage happened. So it couldn't have been very long.

If she didn't know, though, I'll have to take back what I said about blaming her.

[Gael 1]

I can't speak for all spheres of people, but, yeah, teenagers having sex has become the norm. You've got teens who abstain, due to religion, moral reasons, or health and safety reasons. You've got teens who only want to have sex in a loving, long-term relationship. And you've also got teens who have a new boyfriend/girlfriend/sexual partner every four months, and teens who hardly care where, when or with whom they have sex, as long as they get it.

My friend Luke was recently married; he's my age. And he was a virgin when he married. He had mentioned this to a few guys who used to be his friends, and the general reaction was "What?! You don't know what you're missing!" He's a Christian, so that was part of the reason he had abstained, but the answer he gave to the group was "I don't think it's a necessary part of a loving relationship." Now that is an unusual thing to hear from a college-aged, or teenage, male.

Is this unfortunate? I think so. But it's not my responsibility to tell people what they can and can't do. Teen pregnancy can ruin some kids' lives, but having a child can also enrich a mother or father's life that might have been previously empty and loveless. It's really up to teens being responsible and practicing good judgement; but that's far from what a lot of them do.

[Sahaqiel 1232]

I think spawning a baby to keep your relationship together is kind of eh.

Also, my school typically doesn't care whether or not you're a virgin.

I am proud of my virginity. I get some pretty hilarious reactions when I tell people I've never even been in a relationship, though.

Sahaqiel

[Cascade 741]

The whole virginity = loser! thing really baffles me :S We certainly don't have that kinda attitude here... yay for that

And Eka, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's miscarriage. I don't even know how she and the father must be feeling right now. :< My condolences

[Kimmy 0]

Peer pressure. Gah, I remember all the discussions in the football locker room. Everyone was always so interested in how many times they've "scored" and frowned upon anyone who was still a virgin. I guarantee this led some people to have sex young.

Is this for real? I feel like it isn't.

[Jo-Bengt 0]

I hear people talk about sex often very much in the same way Chase described it. Not in the locker room, but around.

[Max 10]

Am I seriously the only one who DOESN'T find teenage intercourse NORMAL?!

Yes

[Chase 390]

Is this for real? I feel like it isn't.

Actually, yeah it is. Why wouldn't it be?

[Ammonsa 308]

Always the charmer, LL.

[Eka 387]

Yes

It seems I live the life of a sheltered teen, then. :I

My other friend got wind of this information (as we both know the guy) and she was talking about how normal it is nowadays, but she was also siding with me as she claims she was also sheltered until she went to Band Camp and learned things. xD

The thing that;s really bothering me now though is that despite all of the, "I'm sorry for the loss of the child" comments, he isn't sounding very emotional. Then again, I can't say how he's feeling anyways because he might be masking it online. Its just that online, he seems like he's more... calm, and grateful that things didn't go this far.

The girl apparently told him after sex that she wanted to get pregnant. Bad, stupid move. So... I think he knew, but that's all I know personally. Everything else is mighty hazy right now.

I just want to talk to him on MSN to see if I can talk about this one-on-one with him. Maybe he'll actually reveal masked feelings, I don't know. I know that he has been going through really tough times for the past few years (there hasn't been a time where I have seen him online generally happy about something for at least a duration of 3 days.) :C

[Shadowknight 54]

@Kimmy: I'm not even in football and I hear all sorts of talk like that in the locker room. The football and basketball guys are especially bad, but the baseball guys are nearly the same. Tennis is pretty alright, but we definitely have some more religious people than the other teams. Yeah, a lot of teenage boys really are as bad as the stereotypes would have you think. Not all, but quite a few.

Also, I keep seeing the phrase "long-term relationship" being used. How long do y'all think long-term is? I don't have a point to make off of that topic, I'm just somewhat curious.

[Gael 1]

Also, I keep seeing the phrase "long-term relationship" being used. How long do y'all think long-term is? I don't have a point to make off of that topic, I'm just somewhat curious.

Well, It's hard to say, because you might start of a relationship wanting it to last a long time, only to have it end after six months. But a long-term relationship, to me, is one with a committed partner who is looking forward to a future with you, three or four, ten, or more, years down the road.

[Shadowknight 54]

See, that's kind of what I think of too. But I guess long-term has different meanings to different people. I know at least one girl who thinks six months is a really long time to date someone.

[real link 0]

The whole virginity = loser! thing really baffles me :S

my best guess is that some guys think of it this way. no sex=no game. thats obviously not why for everyone but, hey, different strokes for different folks

anyway, my condolences to your friend and (just a guess here) his girlfriend eka

[Kimmy 0]

Actually, yeah it is. Why wouldn't it be?

Because I've NEVER heard of this outside of the movies.

In my area it is looked down upon to be having sex. Girls who have safe sex in a committed relationship with a guy they've dated for a long time are considered sluts. In the first few years of high school, if you had done /anything/ at all you were looked down upon. The friends that have lost their virginities have very recently, at my age, and many of my friends are set on waiting until marriage (especially the guys, for some reason). I don't know. The way I've been raised and all the social circles I've moved in have actually endorsed the opposite message of the guys in the locker room. I was afraid for a long time to speak up about having sex, and I lied to even my closest friends about whether or not I was a virgin for a good three years because I was afraid they would look down on me. All my experience contrary to yours makes me skeptical of whether the football guys even had these conversations.